Far and Away

My home away from home

The details of my life over the past year aren’t all that sexy, but enough of you have expressed an interest that I figured I should fill you all in on how things are going for me. So, strap in for the ride and try not to fall asleep!

It was almost a year ago (wow!) that we packed up the kids and moved to somewhere in Asia. The kids were confused about this, but I sold it to them as us going on a big adventure, which they merrily bought into (and it turned out to be true in a sense). We got here, settled in, and a couple weeks later they were in school. I was scared about not speaking the language, but it turns out that you can accomplish a lot without words. After all this time the most I’ve learned (that has stuck) is “Thank you” and “Hello/Goodbye.”

One of my biggest challenges (aside from figuring out how I was going to get porn) was food. The food here is great, but I had to rely on places that had pictures on their menus so I could just point to what I wanted. Luckily there’s a McDonald’s a couple blocks away so the girls can get their nugget fix every couple of weeks. Cooking at home, however, was more of a challenge than I expected.

For one thing, they don’t have ovens here! That eliminates about 75% of my standard meal plans! Also, ingredients for my favorite home go-to meals are often tricky to find in the local markets. There are American grocery stores, but they’re out of the way and expensive. Instead of beating my head against the culture wall and trying to make the stuff I would make back home, I just made the effort to learn to cook like they do here. This has definitely brought my stress levels down at the store!

My attempt at beef stew

Speaking of expensive, it’s funny what kinds of things over here have become an extravagance for us. Butter is one. Not sure why – milk is plentiful and reasonably priced. Also, cheese is rare and pricey here as well. I get that this is because cheese isn’t a staple of the Asian diet, but c’mon – it’s cheese! It’s good on everything! The other one that blew me away is maple syrup. I saw a small jug (maybe a pint) of Vermont syrup in a special section of the grocery store a few months back. It had a security tag attached to it. This seemed odd until I looked closer and saw that it was $30! Sorry, kids – no pancakes for breakfast until we get home.

Other than my food troubles, everything else has been wonderful! The city is great. They have an awesome mass-transit system so we don’t need a car. The school the girls are going to is great – they love it and have made lots of new friends. Hubby is enjoying his job. The only drawback for me has been missing out on my naughty hobby!

Porn is restricted here. You can’t just log on and go to PornHub. Most all of that is blocked, and when you try to go to a forbidden site you get a nasty-gram on your screen telling you the government doesn’t want you to see titties, pussies, cocks, and assholes. Mind boggling.

But, as many of you told me, you can get around all that by using a VPN. So I signed up for one of those and I’m able to sneak past the censors, and also make it look like I’m connecting to sites as if I’m in the U.S., which allows me to connect to my Comcast and Netflix accounts to watch my American shows. It makes me wonder if the government here has a stake in the VPN business…Hmmm.

Anyway, my next hurdle is my internet connection itself. We have free wifi through hubby’s company, but I’m paranoid about them being able to see what sites I’m visiting and peeking into my emails. They may not care, but I don’t want to take chances. As a consequence, I spend a lot of time at a few different local coffee shops and use their free internet services. It’s not very conducive to watching porn, but I am able to download a video or two then watch them at home. It’s a bit frustrating to have to survive on this kind of drip, drip, drip of porn instead of the open firehose of filth back home, but I’m managing!

I recently got myself a mobile wifi hotspot type of device. This allows me to connect at home without having to go through the company’s connection. It’s slow, but it works for email and posting to the blog, so that’s a good thing.

I’m a little worried that when I get back home I’m going to end up locking myself in a room and masturbate to porn for 3 days straight! When they break down the door they’ll find me naked and dehydrated in front of my computer without the strength to click on the next tranny threesome anal cum-swapping ball torture video.

My new nightly hang out

One of the disappointing things is that due to the repressive nature of the society over here there’s not a lot of sexy stuff going on outside. The women dress very conservative. I actually had my very first cleavage siting the other day! Otherwise, boobs are very hidden in public. Legs, however, are a different story. A lot of short skirts with stockings (mostly white ones in the summer). Yeah, if you’re into legs, this is the place to be.

And, I must say, I know now why many men have a fetish for Asian women. I’m pretty sure I’ve developed one myself. My husband said something funny a couple months after we arrived. “The women here are so beautiful. Even the ugly ones are cute!” And he’s right. The men, on the other hand, don’t do much for me. They don’t smile, don’t dress nicely, and they don’t seem to notice you at all. I don’t know, maybe that’s a good thing.

Things in the bedroom have been fantastic. I don’t know if it’s the foreign air, or all the Asian hotties flitting about, but our sex drive at home has been running high. We’re fucking at least 4 or 5 times a week (up from 2 or 3 back home). I think it might be that we don’t have any friends around to occupy ourselves with, so we just have each other. But, whatever it is, I’m not complaining!

I didn’t bring any of my toys when we came over. I was too afraid that I’d be the one at customs with my dozen vibrators and dildos lined up on the table. I did invest in an electric toothbrush, however, and have used that on several occasions when I needed an electronically enhanced orgasm. I wasn’t sure it would work because it’s so small compared to some of my big, work-horse toys I have at home, but it does get the job done!

I suppose I should also admit that I’ve made use of the occasional phallic-shaped vegetable. What can I say? Sometimes you just need to jam something up in there and fingers aren’t enough. Also, I have the reliable standby of humping whatever furniture there happens to be. Yeah, I’ve grinded myself on the corner of just about everything in our apartment by this point. My two favorite spots are the corner of the kitchen table (just the right height) and the edge of the bathroom sink (cold and hard).

We also have an unusual bathroom arrangement (normal for here, but unusual for back home). There’s no separate shower or tub, it’s all just one big open space with a drain in the middle of the room. The whole bathroom acts like your shower. It does, I’ll admit, have its advantages. It’s very convenient when you want to clean the sink and toilet because you can just hose them down with the shower head.

A few months after we got here I was helping the girls take their shower, and for the umpteenth time I ended up getting soaked in the process. I just gave up, got naked, and joined them. They thought it was funny, but I told them that’s just how it was done in our new country. They were fine with it, so now the three of us happily take our showers together and we have a blast. It’s nice not to have to fight to get them to take a bath. Now shower time is fun time! Yay!

So, that’s about it, I guess. I’m expecting my hubby’s overseas gig to get extended, which I have mixed feelings about. It really has been a fantastic opportunity for me and the girls to experience a new culture and get a kind of perspective we never would have otherwise. I’m hoping this will make us all better people in the long run! So many of my friends cringe at the idea of living in a foreign country based mainly on misconceptions and misinformation. That’s not the type of close-minded American I want to be, and I definitely don’t want my kids growing up thinking the rest of the world is nothing but “shithole” countries.

In the meantime, I’m going to go ogle some hot Asian bitches strutting around on their sexy legs!

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Public Exposure

Just a quickie post to let you know what’s on my mind. I was very excited yesterday to find that I have managed to whittle my unanswered emails down to less than 500! Sorry again for leaving so many of you hanging during my disappearing act. The messages I get are very important to me and I’ve always tried to respond to them all (except the ones that amount to little more than “Hi, send me a picture of your pussy”). I wouldn’t say I’m offended by these kinds of eMails, I understand the motivation behind it, but it feels a little like the writer is saying that what I’m already giving up of myself isn’t enough and that I owe him more. I guess I can’t let it bother me, it’s all part of the smut peddler’s life I chose.

On the flip side, I have gotten a wonderful crop of dick pics since I announced my return! I continue to be mystified by women who denigrate the unsolicited dick pic. I find them to be a lovely treat that brightens my day. Then again, I suppose I’m sorta asking for it. I’ve also received a couple of private wife/gf photos, which are also fun for me to see. I get a wicked thrill being privy to naughty pics of real people that I’m not supposed to be seeing. Anyway, just wanted to let all my dick pic-ers to know I appreciate the gesture and if getting me turned on by exposing yourself (and your loved ones) was your goal, then mission accomplished!

Speaking of public exposure, getting back in the porn game after so long away, and getting a flood of very encouraging responses, has reminded me of why I got into writing porn in the first place. The excitement I feel about being back in the mindset of creating filthy stories from my perverted ideas is driven in large part by my fervent yearning to publicly expose myself. I have fantasies of literally exposing myself: giving a man a peek up my skirt on the train, flashing a tit to an unsuspecting college student passing by, or bending over and giving a nice old man a show. But, it seems, I’m far too unadventurous to actually do these things. It was a big challenge for me just to walk around the mall back home showing a generous amount of cleavage (arousing, yet still scary).

However, what I can do without fear, is publicly expose myself through my writing. All the nasty thoughts, taboo fantasies, and socially unacceptable impulses that have manifested in my brain since I hit puberty had always been a source of some degree of shame for me. I always thought I was weird, or abnormal, or disgusting for thinking the kinds of things I did. And not only did I think them, but I got turned on by them. And not only did I get turned on by them, I fingered myself constantly to these deviant thoughts. There were times I felt like a freakish sex monster (not that this stopped me from playing with myself in the dark).

Now, as you know, I am able to embrace my inner sex monster and find a certain degree of comfort with it. No, I’m not acting these things out in real life (like many of you are brave enough to do), but being able to put my aberrant thoughts down on “paper” then share them with the world is a huge thrill for me. Not only admitting that I have these kinds of thoughts, but being able to express them to others, has turned out to be an amazing outlet for me. The validation I get when I hear from people who like what I do, and even tell me I helped them cum, is a gift that I can’t put a high enough value on.

So while you won’t see me out on the street spreading my legs any time soon, I want to offer my most sincere thanks for allowing me to expose myself to you in my own special way! It truly is a privilege that I hope I never lose.

Feeling Things Out…

I think my new longitude is giving me weird dreams! Two nights ago I dreamed that a strange pygmy goat kept trying to head butt me. And this morning I had a dream that I was in a sorority with Amy Schumer and for some reason she was referring to her vagina as her “chimney.” The good news is that this dream gave me an idea for a porn story when I woke up. How does this sound…?

“House Boy” – a sorority secures the services of a good-looking, well-hung, experienced stud as a live-in ‘handy man.’ Ostensibly he’s there to take care of the maintenance on the sorority house, but his real purpose is to take care of the sorority sisters. The leaders of the sorority rationalize this with the theory that the girls spend so much time and energy chasing relationships that they would be able to concentrate more on their school work if there was a desirable communal ‘boyfriend’ available to take care of their various physical needs with no strings attached. Of course, in a house full of horny co-eds, this is bound to create more drama than it avoids – but how much fun would it be navigating those stormy waters!? Just a thought…

I haven’t risked doing anything too dirty on my ‘home’ (i.e. company) internet connection yet, but I have found a few nearby coffee shops with free wifi that I can at least use for dirty minded e-mails when I get a chance. I made this update using the TOR browser – which I think should encrypt things enough that it shouldn’t set off any alarms (I hope). I figure if I don’t post too often, and use a different coffee shop each time I do, that I can stay a step or two ahead of the porn police (assuming they’re real, or even care about a low-level offender like me).

Everything here is new and confusing – but I love it so far. The girls are out of their minds…in a good way. It will be challenging, but I’m feeling a lot more confident about this move and excited to find out what adventures each new day might bring!

And, sorry, I didn’t manage to join the mile-high club on the journey here, but I was able to ‘sweep my chimney’ under the blanket during the flight while all the lights were low – it took a long time for me to ‘get there,’ but it was such a nasty thrill!

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Oh, God!

As they say, there are two things you should never discuss at a porn blog: religion and politics. So, in the past, I’ve tentatively violated the prohibition against politics, so I might as well go ahead and break the rest of the rule!

Let me start by confessing that I’m a “non-believer.” Before I go on, I have to say that I don’t like that label, nor do I like defining myself as an “atheist.” It doesn’t sit well with me to identify myself by what I DON’T believe. In my own little mind I call myself a Mythisist. I know this term may have other specific meanings, but for me it nicely encapsulates what I DO believe – that all religions (ALL) are based on myths – flawed fictional stories written by humans in a effort to explain the elements of the universe that are (or were) difficult (or impossible) to comprehend. I don’t intend to insult anyone else’s beliefs with this position – if it brings one comfort to believe that Jesus, or Mohammed, or Vishnu, or Yoda, or Zeus, or Ra, or Odin, or Moroni, or Cthulu, or any of the host of other invisible divine entities humans have revered throughout the millennia use their magic powers to intervene in your life so that things go your way, then I’m happy for you. That’s not to say I won’t be silently judging you and downgrading my estimation of your overall capacity for rational thought, but I’m all for you believing whatever brings you comfort (unless you’re my doctor…I’m not going to put my own personal biology in the hands of someone who doesn’t accept evolution!).

And, for the sake of full disclosure, I’m a total hypocrite. Despite my heretical beliefs, I do (sporadically) attend a Protestant church. My husband and I mainly, I think, do this out of habit as we were both raised in church-going households (though not especially strict when it came to the rules – Thou shalt not leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight was by far a more important commandment for me growing up, for example, than coveting my neighbor’s wife). I do enjoy the social aspects attending our little church offers, and it helps that our friends and neighbors don’t have to wonder if we’re Satan-worshipping heathens. Community aside, I also like the idea of allowing our kids to be exposed to the church (mostly through Sunday school) so that they have enough of an understanding about Christianity to be able to make their own informed decisions about religion when they are of an age to care about such things.

Okay, so, for those of you who haven’t yet deleted my site from you favorites list and closed your browser in a righteous huff, I’m telling you this because I’m curious about the intersection of religion and erotic stories (if there is one). I’ve been playing around with religion a little in “Open Door Policy,” as many of you have surely noticed. I didn’t really set out to create Vera as a devout Catholic just to pull her down into the cesspit of incestuous sin that most of us love to wallow in. ODP has very much been a writing experiment for me – no planning, no outlining, no character sketches, or any of that. I sit down and write each chapter not really knowing what’s going to happen or where the story might be leading. It’s not my natural style, but it can be very exciting to discover what my characters are going to do as it happens on the page. The idea of Joanne being the corrupting force in her otherwise pious friend’s life has been very arousing and gratifying for me. And, based on some of the feedback, this is an exciting aspect of the story for many of you as well.

I say this all to bring me around to the point that I’m intrigued by the idea of doing more in mixing porn and religiosity. The theme of a staunchly religious person (I always picture this person being a woman) being drawn into a debaucherous sexual situation has endless potential. But, beyond that, most all of our taboos are rooted in religion, and so adding that extra dimension to the taboos of incest, multiple-partners, same sex relations, and so on only amps up the perversion in any given story line that involves the mixing and matching of the two (or three, or four).

For some reason, the thought of doing Christian Erotica has been nagging at me for several months now. In this case I’m not talking about the kind of story where the Christian characters are corrupted or violate the holy tenents of their beliefs, but where they are confronted by a sexual quandary that must be resolved in keeping with biblical teachings in order to maintain their marriage in a wholesome and dutiful manner. I don’t know if I could pull it off, but the challenge of writing a dirty story that truly devout people would read, and (hopefully) masturbate to, really fires up my nether bits. Yes, I suppose the idea of playing the corruptor has a huge appeal for this perv!

I’m also curious about other religions as well. I had someone write and ask if I could do a story about a pair of Mormon sisters going on a mission together and doing some experimenting with each other. The idea really appeals to me, but I don’t yet know enough about Mormonism to convincingly tackle something along these lines. Likewise, I’m always intrigued when I get an e-mail from an admitted Muslim who enjoys my stories. I know the stuff I write MUST be forbidden within Islam, and so I love to find out how they justify reading my smut (and presumably beating off their no-no pole in the process). I don’t know if there’s much to exploit when it comes to Jewish, Hindu, or Buddhist circles, but I’m more than willing to learn!

Anyway, I don’t know where any of this might lead me, if anywhere, but I thought I’d throw it out there and see if any of you have an opinion on all of this. Would you prefer to keep religion out of your porn, or does the idea of a religious person giving in to temptation and discovering the joys of transgressive sex hold a special appeal for you? Is my notion of writing wholesome bible porn a hare-brained concept or a viable consideration? Should I risk death by jihad and write about what really goes on behind the curtains in the Sultan’s harem? (If I remember correctly, I think there was some pretty racy stuff along these lines in the original “1001 Nights.” When the Sultan is away, the harem will play.) Or, do you have any other random thoughts related to socially critical magisteria of religion and porn?

I promise to give you absolution after you confess your dirty, dirty sins to me…

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Tweeting Off


This is probably going to come off like a “humble brag,” but I wanted to take a minute to talk about my Twitter. I was dubious when I first made an account there for many reasons. Firstly, I felt like I was too old to be Tweeting, but it turns out the kids are doing their Snapchats and whatever the newest thing is and have left Twitter to the lame old “adults.” I also wasn’t sure I’d have anything worth Tweeting about. I still kind of think that, but it doesn’t really stop me. When I started, I expected to max out at about 20 or 30 followers. Would it really be worth the effort (albeit a small one) to come up with stuff to Tweet about for an audience that small? Then, I had assumed once I’d disappointing the few followers I had, I’d level off at about a dozen followers. Not for the first (or last) time…I was wrong.

To prove it, I hit the 15,000 follower mark this morning and I’m totally bemused and bewildered! I certainly don’t feel like I deserve so many followers, but I can’t really argue with the numbers. I guess I should start by thanking the folks here who have followed me at Twitter – I don’t want to label you as “stalkers,” but I am flattered by the expansive obsessiveness of your interest in me. I guess the most important thing is that many people discovered my blog after finding me on Twitter. Since one of the things that drives me is to attract as many readers to my dirty stories as I can (and thus increase the number of potential orgasms I might manage to wheedle out of various cocks and pussies) this is a good thing. I also like having a place to blurt out some of the random, weird, or nasty thoughts that cross my dirty mind as I go about my day. It would be a dirty shame is my perverted wisdom was wasted on me alone!

If I had known how much porn there was on Twitter, I probably would have signed up long before I actually did. One of my favorite parts of my daily routine is scrolling through all the naked ladies and erect guys that show up in my feed and get my juices flowing. Such a great source of carnal motivation. I have many good friends in real life, but I don’t have the kind of relationship with any of them that allows me to feel comfortable sharing any details of my sex life. But, I love that I can tell my Twitter friends about how I got fucked in the ass the night before, ate a big load of hubby’s cum during half-time, masturbated to forbidden thoughts about my young nephew, or simply had a pleasant evening of boring dick-in-twat married sex with my dear hubby. It’s very gratifying to have a safe place to openly share what I’m doing with my cunt and know that thousands of people are privy to what I would otherwise never whisper to another soul who knows me as the sweet, innocent mother and housewife that I present myself to world as.

I wonder how much porn is in Donald’s Twitter feed. Or, how many dick pics he receives each day. Maybe it’s also worth considering the possibility that the president has jacked off to my stories. Or at least had his Slovenian sex slave give him a tug job as Ivanka reads one of my stories to him at bedtime.

What a freaky modern world we’ve created for ourselves. I can’t wait to see what perversion enabling technologies we come up with next! I know it’s probably a long way off, but I’d love for body-morphing to be a thing. I so want to spend a week (or more) as a man with my very own cock. I’ve got a bad case of penis envy and would intensely enjoy experiencing what it feels like to really jerk off, penetrate someone with my very own flesh-and-blood cock, and ejaculate a big, gooey wad of cum all over someone’s face! I’d also want to try out big boobs. Nothing comically huge, but enough to draw lustful leers from the men, and scowls of jealous contempt from the women. It would be interesting to see if or how I might be treated if I were sporting a big, bouncy pair of barely contained bodacious ta-tas.

What high-tech perversion enabling innovation would you most like to see in your lifetime? Holographic porn? Sex robots? Full-spectrum STD eradication? Celebrity clones as sex slaves? Self-driving cars that allow you to masturbate on the highway with both hands as you commute? Or, how about zero-g sex in orbit? Or would trying to calculate all the equal and opposite reactions just cause you a boner-wilting headache? Or, maybe just a simple brain implant that would allow us to press a button for an instant orgasm whenever the mood strikes us? Hmm, tempting, but I really like playing with myself and working hard to earn my orgasms.

Wait…I thought this post was about Twitter…ah, well…as long as we’re having fun…

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