Thoughts and Players

So, a reader sent me a bunch of sexy solo gifs (thanks, Jim!), and I thought it might be fun to share my thoughts on these naughty images with everyone…here goes:

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Whenever I had the house to myself, I would usually masturbate somewhere other than my bedroom. Doing it in the living room, family room, or on the floor in the front hallway always intensified my orgasms. I also loved the feeling of being naked in my parents’ or brother’s bed. I would always get scared as soon as I came and run to my room feeling guilty for being such a pervert, and I would scold myself for being so stupid and risking getting caught. I’d promise myself I wouldn’t do that any more (jilling off in my own room felt good enough that I didn’t need to take a chance and do it anywhere else), but the next time I was alone in the house I was running wild all over the place!

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To this day I sometimes rub myself off over my PJs or panties. It’s also something I frequently do while driving. There’s something so good about the feeling it gives my pussy while at the same time I’m dying to feel my fingers on (and in) my wet flesh (not to mention the excitement of touching myself in semi-public).

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Yeah, this is how I masturbate most of the time these days – in front of a screen looking at various forms of hardcore porn. All I had when I was younger was the occasional soft-core movie on cable (we had a family computer in our dining room that didn’t allow for any privacy, and was closely monitored by our parents – probably more because of my brother than me). I explored online porn here and there in college, but back then I was convinced that I was being tracked and that somehow it could become public that I was looking at cocks on the internet. Paranoid, I know, but one summer I worked at a video store (remember those!?) and there was a local politician who came in and rented porno all the time. I often thought about how easy it would be for someone to leak his list of rentals (or anyone’s) and so I was always worried about my own shameful porn habits getting out and ruining my life. And, now that I think about it, I still am!

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My first foray into actual sex toys was centered around vibrator type things that I’d buzz my clit with. I was a little weirded out by the idea of fucking a non-living thing (penises or my fingers felt natural, but doing it with an inanimate object…?). I eventually got over this (obviously) and now enjoy pumping myself like a sex-starved nympho several times a week using a nice thick dildo (or my trusty double-headed dong).

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Yeah…still nothing like fingers to really get in there and get the job done. You get the joyful sensation through your fingers as they slide around the soft folds of your cunt, along with the great feeling of your horny cunt getting fingered in just the right way.

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Oh yeah, ya gotta love pale titties on a tanned hottie! I think I picked up this turn-on from my dad’s old porn mags. The girls with white boobs stood out more than those with full-body tans to me. I guess it highlighted that I was seeing something that I wasn’t supposed to see – I was seeing stuff that had to be covered up in public! That made it so much dirtier for me.

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Such beautiful wetness! It always bothers me when I see porn pics of dry pussies. Yes, there is a certain artistic appeal, but then I just can’t imagine them in an overtly sexual way. I looove seeing everything nice and juicy – whether it’s oil, sweat, or cunt slime – a glistening pussy is a happy pussy! And when it’s bald and smooth, like this girl’s, I just want to dive in there and rub my face in it!

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Nice! More humping. I think it’s super sexy to see a woman moving her body like a guy does when he’s fucking someone (or something). I like pegging or strap-on vids where the girl really gets her hips into it the way a man would. Not sure why that gets me going as much as it does, maybe for the same reason I get revved up seeing very feminine-looking shemales jacking off fast and hard! (Yeah…the internet has really opened up new worlds of perversion that I never would have known otherwise…)

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I like to think that if I had a sister we would have done this together (a lot). I also wonder, if I hadn’t been such a chicken about it, if any of my friends from high school would have been willing to be my jilling buddy. Again, if I was cooler in college, I’m sure I could have found someone willing to “experiment” with me. Arg – how long is it going to take for some nerd to invent time travel that lets you go back to when you were younger!!??

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Nice! Again, the pose I’m in half the time when I masturbate! I sometimes wonder how I’d survive these days without the internet. I got along fine for years and years with just my own fantasies, but I’ve become so spoiled by online porn it would seem like a big loss if I had to rely solely on my own dirty thoughts. Well, I guess I’d survive somehow…

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There we go! If I’m not using a toy (and sometimes even when I am), I tend to be a two-hander when I’m molesting myself. Fucking myself and diddling my clit is probably my most common go-to move. Either that, or my “spare” hand is roughly groping a tit, or lightly torturing a nipple. I love pulling and twisting my nips as I get close to cumming. I also go through phases where I get super charged up by grabbing and pulling at my belly or inner thigh. Weird. Anyway, one hand good, two hands awesome!

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Beautiful! This reflects another frequent fantasy of mine – a friendly neighbor who likes to stop by from time to time during the day so we can watch each other masturbate. I love the voyeur/exhibitionist aspect of this fantasy, as well as the casual idea of being a able to get off with another woman without it being a full-on lesbian thing. This is part of where my first story (Secrets Between Sisters) came from.

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The girlfriend of a guy I knew in college once told me that she used a tub faucet to masturbate. I really didn’t know her all that well. For some reason the two of us were walking at night, and I don’t know how it came up, but I just remember that she told me that she was walking in the city once and looked into a window as she passed and saw two gay guys having sex. I don’t know how this led to her sharing her favorite masturbation technique, but she did. I was too freaked out to open up about my own naughty habits, and I still regret it to this day. Why was I such a fucking pussy when I was younger!!!??? (And where the fuck is that time machine!?)

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Ever since me and hubby crossed the anal sex line, my butt has played a much bigger role in my masturbation routine. If I’m playing with myself after getting out of the shower, my finger always ends up deep in my asshole as I pleasure my pussy. If at any point I feel a trickle of pussy juice slide down across my anus, I HAVE to finger my butthole no matter what! I also enjoy getting off by moving into a doggystyle type position and spreading a butt cheek with one hand while I fuck myself using the other. Feeling the cool air on my asshole ramps things up for me, but I also usually add in a fantasy that I’m exposing my butthole to someone watching (I often imagine it’s my brother or father (or both), but I’ve also pretended it’s a man (known or unknown) that I’ve encountered that day). This also goes along with the two-handed thing I mentioned earlier…

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Okay, now this is just becoming torture. I really need to find a discreet diddle buddy!

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I don’t know about the dry entry here, but it looks like she’s enjoying it!

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Love that clitty action! I sometimes wish mine was bigger – big enough that I could actually jerk it off between my thumb and forefinger. But, maybe that would be too much for me. I’d probably end up walking around with lady-wood most of the time, in which case I would be too tempted to wear super-tight pants that would rub against my tiny girl-dick and make me orgasm throughout the day. Yeah, I’d be a total mess! Maybe I should go with a big clit for a day fantasy instead, just to be safe. (Which would go along nicely with my big tits for a day fantasy.)

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This last one looks like an inspirational image for a story I should write about three sisters who are fed up with dating jerks and turn to each other for emotional and sexual comfort. But what happens when Mom catches them being naughty? Does she kick them out of the house, or does she confess that their dad isn’t getting the job done in the bedroom and join them?

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Sex Snoop

I often snooped through my parents’ bedroom when I was in my mid-teens. I was on the hunt for anything to do with sex, and had no qualms about invading their privacy (as long as I didn’t get caught). I wanted to unravel the mysteries of this adult world of penises and pussies and discover what the grown-ups were hiding from us kids. My holy grail would have been a sex tape, but I would have gladly settled for a hidden stack of Polaroids.

Sex toys weren’t even on my radar back then. My mom had a clunky back massager, which I’d seen her using for that purpose, but only looking back did I realize it most likely doubled as a vibrator. The closest I ever got was a sheer, lacy negligee that my mom had tucked away in the back of her closet.

I tried it on one time, but it didn’t fit me anywhere and looked beyond silly. Still, it turned me on to imagine my mom wearing it and getting my dad all horny for her. There were holes in the large bra section for her nipples to poke through, and they came with a flimsy pair of crotchless panties. This was the pinnacle of kink for me back then. To this day I still get a big thrill out of peek-a-boo bras and crotchless panties. There was also an item of my dad’s that intrigued me, but not in quite the same way.

It must have been some kind of gag gift because I can’t imagine either of my parents actually buying this item. It was a kind of thong thingie, sized for a man. It was pink, and the front of it had two big, floppy elephant ears, googly eyes, and an elephant truck that was designed for a cock to be slipped into it. It was totally silly, but that didn’t stop me from wondering if my dad ever put it on for fun and made the elephant’s trunk stand straight up. It may have been ridiculous, but that didn’t stop me from getting wet thinking about my parents joking around with their genitals behind closed doors.

Ironically, my biggest find wasn’t in my parents’ bedroom, but (as I’ve talked about before) in my father’s workshop. Finding Dad’s small hidden stash of porn magazines and books was a major discovery, and one I often took advantage of (leading to dozens and dozens of furtive masturbation sessions crouched in the dimly lit garage breathing in the heavy odors of motor oil and gasoline as I frantically worked my little pussy in an effort to get off before anyone found me. As wonderful as that cache of goodies was, it wasn’t quite the kind of incriminating personal evidence I was seeking.

I had one other porn find that I sometimes wonder if it was my imagination. When I was somewhere around 17 (yes, I was still snooping at that age (after I’d lost my innocence), always hoping something new might appear), I found a Playgirl magazine under my mom’s side of the mattress. I had heard it mentioned, but never really believed before then that there was such a thing as porn for women. I went through the magazine one page at a time, hardly able to breathe. Almost NO naked women at all! Mostly nude, hairy men in unnatural poses. They were attempting to be manly, but they all somehow seemed kind of effeminate. The funny thing was that I wasn’t overly impressed with the cocks I saw. I mean, they were okay, but what got me excited was the idea that my mom was looking at this stuff. I picked out the guys I thought she might like the most and masturbated to them while wondering if my mom had done the same thing. The magazine was gone the next time I looked.

Strangely, I never really snooped in my brother’s room – at least not for sex stuff. I guess, in my head, he was a kid like me, so what could there be to find? I’m sure if I looked I would have probably found some contraband porn mags, or even a forbidden VHS tape the boys were passing around. What I did do, when I had the house all to myself, was lie on his bed naked and masturbate like a fiend. I can vividly remember planting my feet and raising my hips high up, humping the air as I fingered myself and yelled out dirty stuff I would never dare say aloud to anyone. I would often start these solo sessions by fantasizing that my brother had walked in and caught me. I’d say out loud, “Look at my pussy! You like that? Yeah, watch me play with my pussy! You wanna see me cum, don’t you?” Wow, nothing turned me on back then like being able to just let loose and say whatever obscene thing came into my head while going wild on my cunt in a place I wasn’t supposed to be. “You want to fuck me, don’t you? You want to fuck your little sister’s hot pussy! Go ahead – give me your cock! Put your cock in me!” Oh, shit, so fucking good – even to this day!

I was often too scared to snoop at the houses where I babysat, but when I did I usually came up empty. I guess I grew up in a very sexually repressed area. I found a three-pack of Trojan condoms once, which didn’t do much for me. One lady had a string of balls in her panty drawer that I would only later realize were probably anal beads, but at the time I had no clue what they were for so I didn’t really get to enjoy the discovery in the moment. Maybe I should take up babysitting again – I bet I’d be a lot better at snooping, and I’d probably find a lot more “incriminating evidence”! (Although the advent of the nanny cam might put a crimp in things…)

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Might As Well Face It, You’re Addicted To…

I hate to use up a whole post for this random thought I had the other day, but, fuck it, I’m going to anyway…

So, I was once again pondering whether or not I’m addicted to porn as I was dusting and vacuuming like the dutiful little housewife and mom that I am. Then I conducted a quick thought experiment that made me feel a lot better. I’m sure there’s a flaw somewhere in my logic, but I don’t really want to find it!

This is what I came up with: If you took away my porn, I would still masturbate. But, if you took away my ability to masturbate, I wouldn’t still watch porn. So, this proves that I’m not addicted to porn. I’m addicted to masturbating! I don’t mind being a masturbation addict, I just don’t want to be labelled as a porn addict (even though I probably might be).

Either way, it made feel better about myself, and that’s all that matters. I have a lot more to say on this topic, but it’s been at least 10 minutes since I’ve looked at any porn and my fingers are beginning to twitch.

Gotta goooo!

Teen Titillations

As a horny teen, I often fantasized about my family as I masturbated. But, I also had a reliable set of non-family scenes I would play out in my mind when I wanted to get off. I thought maybe you’d like to get a quick overview of my greatest hits.

Probably one of my most productive fantasies were scenarios involving one of my many male teachers. My favorite was Mr. Kennet. He was young and handsome, had the build of a jock, and the attitude of a man who had a big, thick cock. My fantasy was fairly simple but it always made me cum like crazy. I had to see him after school about my grades. I wasn’t failing (of course), but I was in danger of spoiling my record of straight A’s. Maybe if I wasn’t daydreaming about Mr. Kennet’s fat cock during class I would be able to focus better! My teacher tells me he can give me some extra credit points if I do something for him. What he wants is for me to take all my clothes off. I’m scared and worried about getting caught, but the humiliation of getting a B is worse than being seen naked. I do as he says and take all my clothes off right there in the classroom. It’s cold and the fluorescent lights are unflattering, but his eyes devour me hungrily. My stomach drops when I see him unzipping his pants. What’s he going to do to me? I want him to do something, but I’m also afraid of what that might be. Mr. Kennet pulls his cock out. It’s as big and thick as I always imagined it was. He leans back in his chair and begins stroking himself. I love watching him jerking off – I’ve never seen a boy do that to himself before. He asks me to turn around and bend over. I willingly obey his request and I look between my knees to see him beating off harder at the view of my butt and pussy from behind. “Spread your ass,” he demands. It’s embarrassing to expose myself like that, but it also turns me on. He stands and moves up close behind me. I’m scared that he’s going to try to fuck me (while also kind of hoping that he does), but instead he groans and shoots a big load of cum all over my asshole. If I haven’t had an orgasm by this point, I usually did when I imagined the feel of his jizz running down over my pussy lips and dripping onto the floor. When I was feeling especially horny, Mr. Kennet would talk to me about my grades during class in front of everyone. All the boys joined him in jerking off to the sight of my naked body while most of the girls just scowled and whispered about what a dirty slut I was.

Another fantasy that I sometimes used had to do with a visit to the doctor. I never got turned on during any actual doctor visits, in fact I was usually freaked out instead. When I was younger, I had convinced myself that when the doctor examined me “down there” that he or she would be able to tell I’d been masturbating. They would inform my mother, and I’d be branded a deviant pervert for life (which I would rightfully deserve!). My doctor fantasy, however, was a lot like my teacher fantasy. A non-specific male doctor would come in for the exam and ask me to take my gown off, leaving me (of course) naked. He would do some standard doctor things – listen to my heart, thump on my back, etc. – then he’d tell me that he needed some pictures for my medical records. This seems weird to me, but I can’t argue. The doctor has me do some poses and he takes several pictures. He assures me that my body is developing nicely, which makes me feel good. He then has me get up on one of the examination tables and put my feet in the stirrups. The doctor gets in between my legs and begins taking close up pictures of my vagina. I ask if that’s really needed and he assures me it’s required. He then says, “Now please spread your cunt open for me.” I’m shocked that a professional would use language like that, but I do as I’m told. This is usually where I’d orgasm. If not, the fantasy would continue. He’d hand me the camera and tell me to take over. The doctor would then begin licking and sucking my pussy. While he was eating me out, he’d make little medicalish comments to justify what he was doing to me. “Hmm, yes, it tastes like your Ph levels are in balance…clitoral response is normal, perhaps even above average…vaginal secretions are high but otherwise healthy…mmmmnumnum…” I was having this oral sex fantasy even before anyone had ever gone down on me. If I lasted past this point, a nurse would usually come in, relieve me of picture taking duty, and finger herself while she photographed me getting my pussy sucked off. The combination of getting my pussy sucked while someone watched was a surefire recipe for one of little Rachael’s orgasms.

Rounding out my top three was a fantasy about a couple my parents knew. They would come over the house sometimes for cookouts or to play cards. This couple seemed way too cool to be friends with my mom and dad – a bit younger, both in good shape, and better looking. I’m a little less clear on the details of these fantasies, but it usually involved me sleeping over this couple’s house for some reason. During the night I’d hear noises and go investigate. Obviously I’d find them fucking (and usually it wasn’t in their bedroom, for some reason). I would spy on them while playing with myself. Just the idea of seeing people fuck was a big thrill for me back then (guess it still is). The woman, Judy, would see me spying and invite me to come closer. She would show me Jerry’s penis and teach me how to give a blowjob. While I was learning to suck cock, she would mount her husband’s face and fuck his mouth right in front of me. The scene played out in many different ways depending on how I was feeling at the moment, but is usually involved them touching me all over and closely checking out my pussy together. They’d often ask me to masturbate for them. Once I did, they’d start fucking again. I’d watch them and they’d watch me until we all got off together. The thought of a fucking couple watching me masturbate is a theme that still shows up in my fantasies to this day.

I also had a few hybrid fantasies that involved my brother but was more about his stupid friends. The one I remember the most is where he’d have three or four friends over. He’d come and get me and drag me to the family room where he’d tell me to get naked for them. Sometimes he’d blackmail me into doing it, or sometimes I’d resist and he’d forcibly strip me. One of the guys would put on music and they’d tell me to dance for them. When I did, they’d all take out their cocks and start jerking off to me. I’d quickly get into it, dancing sexy for them and opening my legs wide so they could see my pussy. My brother’s friends would start cumming quickly, but what really got me off was when my brother would make me kneel in front of him and he’d blow his load all over my face in front of everyone. It was the idea of all his friends seeing him do something like that to his horny little sister was what got me off.

There were plenty more, usually inspired by events of the day and the people I’d most recently come in contact with, but these were a few of my dependable go-to’s. Now that I’ve gathered a few of them together, I can see that my teenage fantasies had a very strong exhibitionist streak to them. I suppose it’s only natural for a young girl to want to be admired and desired. In reality, I wasn’t at all confident about my body, and definitely not comfortable about anyone seeing me naked. I have to imagine that’s exactly why my fantasies took on the opposite elements of my real life. I know Freud did a lot with dream analysis, but I wonder if he ever considered sexual fantasy analysis for insights into a person’s true psyche? If not, perhaps I can invent a new branch of psychology. What a job that would be – listening to people’s masturbation fantasies all day! Hmmm…maybe there’s a story idea there…?

Anyway, this was a fun little trip down memory lane for me, and I hope you enjoyed learning about my more “normal” fantasies. Do you remember what thoughts you most often wanked yourself to when you were a kid? If you do, leave a comment and share it with all of us!

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Spectator Sports

I love watching my husband jerk off. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, as well as my general fascination with male masturbation, but I’ve gotten a few questions about this recently so I thought this was a good time to restate my position on guys waxing the dolphin, spanking the monkey, and/or punching the clown.

I don’t want to get too deep into my overall masturbation fetish, but I was raised with the idea that pleasuring oneself was deviant behavior and so it had to be practiced in private and was never to be a topic of conversation with anyone. This is a big part of why I enjoy seeing other people do it – I’m, seeing something that I shouldn’t be; a deeply private act that the person I’m seeing performing it should be ashamed and embarrassed by. That’s the twisted psychological framing that makes it so erotic for me.

I very much enjoy watching videos of women masturbating, but being a female myself means that I’m intimately familiar with how it all works (though it is fun to see the spin other ladies put on the process of getting themselves off). Watching a guy wank his cock was a subject of much speculation and fantasy for me throughout my teens. I eventually gleaned the mechanics of it all, but actually witnessing it eluded me until I was in college and had a boyfriend uninhibited enough to beat his meat for my viewing pleasure. I’ve been hooked ever since.

My husband and I frequently masturbate together, either as foreplay or as a mutual midweek treat before we go to sleep. Sometimes I’ll ask him to whack off for me so I can watch. I’m enthralled by seeing the way he handles himself like such an expert. I’d like to think I can deliver a decent handjob, but when I see my husband stroke himself I realize that I’m still in the minor leagues compared to him.

I like when he whips up a batch of baby batter while on his knees. It’s especially amazing when his balls are hanging loose and flying all over the place while he goes at it. I watch them bouncing off his pumping fist really hard and wonder how that’s possible when I can merely graze his nuts in the wrong way and he’s curled up in pain. Testicles are strange little creatures – and oh so lickable.

My favorite part, of course, is the grand finale: the cumshot! It doesn’t get much sexier in my book that seeing a thick load of semen shooting out of a man’s cock. I know you guys see it every day (sometimes a few times a day), but it still thrills me today as it did the first time I saw it happen. It’s like a sexy magic trick! Not only that, but you get to eat the rabbit that gets pulled out of the hat (hmm, that doesn’t sound as appealing as it should). I often struggle with the dilemma of having my husband jerk off into my mouth or onto himself. If he nuts in my mouth, I don’t get to see him squirt (unless we go for an uncertain attempt from 3-point territory). If he spooges all over his belly and chest, I get to see all the sexiness exploding everywhere, but then I have a lot of work to do to collect it all with my tongue.

No matter which way it goes I’m happy because I know I’ll have plenty of chances to have my loving hubby jack off for me in whatever way I’m horny for on any given day.

How about all of you? What’s your masturbation relation with your partner?

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Now for something completely different…

A reader recently forwarded this article to me and it looks like my story “Stroke Break” might be more prescient that any of us dared hope!

Should You Masturbate at Work?


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