Thoughts and Players

So, a reader sent me a bunch of sexy solo gifs (thanks, Jim!), and I thought it might be fun to share my thoughts on these naughty images with everyone…here goes:

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Whenever I had the house to myself, I would usually masturbate somewhere other than my bedroom. Doing it in the living room, family room, or on the floor in the front hallway always intensified my orgasms. I also loved the feeling of being naked in my parents’ or brother’s bed. I would always get scared as soon as I came and run to my room feeling guilty for being such a pervert, and I would scold myself for being so stupid and risking getting caught. I’d promise myself I wouldn’t do that any more (jilling off in my own room felt good enough that I didn’t need to take a chance and do it anywhere else), but the next time I was alone in the house I was running wild all over the place!

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To this day I sometimes rub myself off over my PJs or panties. It’s also something I frequently do while driving. There’s something so good about the feeling it gives my pussy while at the same time I’m dying to feel my fingers on (and in) my wet flesh (not to mention the excitement of touching myself in semi-public).

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Yeah, this is how I masturbate most of the time these days – in front of a screen looking at various forms of hardcore porn. All I had when I was younger was the occasional soft-core movie on cable (we had a family computer in our dining room that didn’t allow for any privacy, and was closely monitored by our parents – probably more because of my brother than me). I explored online porn here and there in college, but back then I was convinced that I was being tracked and that somehow it could become public that I was looking at cocks on the internet. Paranoid, I know, but one summer I worked at a video store (remember those!?) and there was a local politician who came in and rented porno all the time. I often thought about how easy it would be for someone to leak his list of rentals (or anyone’s) and so I was always worried about my own shameful porn habits getting out and ruining my life. And, now that I think about it, I still am!

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My first foray into actual sex toys was centered around vibrator type things that I’d buzz my clit with. I was a little weirded out by the idea of fucking a non-living thing (penises or my fingers felt natural, but doing it with an inanimate object…?). I eventually got over this (obviously) and now enjoy pumping myself like a sex-starved nympho several times a week using a nice thick dildo (or my trusty double-headed dong).

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Yeah…still nothing like fingers to really get in there and get the job done. You get the joyful sensation through your fingers as they slide around the soft folds of your cunt, along with the great feeling of your horny cunt getting fingered in just the right way.

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Oh yeah, ya gotta love pale titties on a tanned hottie! I think I picked up this turn-on from my dad’s old porn mags. The girls with white boobs stood out more than those with full-body tans to me. I guess it highlighted that I was seeing something that I wasn’t supposed to see – I was seeing stuff that had to be covered up in public! That made it so much dirtier for me.

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Such beautiful wetness! It always bothers me when I see porn pics of dry pussies. Yes, there is a certain artistic appeal, but then I just can’t imagine them in an overtly sexual way. I looove seeing everything nice and juicy – whether it’s oil, sweat, or cunt slime – a glistening pussy is a happy pussy! And when it’s bald and smooth, like this girl’s, I just want to dive in there and rub my face in it!

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Nice! More humping. I think it’s super sexy to see a woman moving her body like a guy does when he’s fucking someone (or something). I like pegging or strap-on vids where the girl really gets her hips into it the way a man would. Not sure why that gets me going as much as it does, maybe for the same reason I get revved up seeing very feminine-looking shemales jacking off fast and hard! (Yeah…the internet has really opened up new worlds of perversion that I never would have known otherwise…)

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I like to think that if I had a sister we would have done this together (a lot). I also wonder, if I hadn’t been such a chicken about it, if any of my friends from high school would have been willing to be my jilling buddy. Again, if I was cooler in college, I’m sure I could have found someone willing to “experiment” with me. Arg – how long is it going to take for some nerd to invent time travel that lets you go back to when you were younger!!??

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Nice! Again, the pose I’m in half the time when I masturbate! I sometimes wonder how I’d survive these days without the internet. I got along fine for years and years with just my own fantasies, but I’ve become so spoiled by online porn it would seem like a big loss if I had to rely solely on my own dirty thoughts. Well, I guess I’d survive somehow…

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There we go! If I’m not using a toy (and sometimes even when I am), I tend to be a two-hander when I’m molesting myself. Fucking myself and diddling my clit is probably my most common go-to move. Either that, or my “spare” hand is roughly groping a tit, or lightly torturing a nipple. I love pulling and twisting my nips as I get close to cumming. I also go through phases where I get super charged up by grabbing and pulling at my belly or inner thigh. Weird. Anyway, one hand good, two hands awesome!

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Beautiful! This reflects another frequent fantasy of mine – a friendly neighbor who likes to stop by from time to time during the day so we can watch each other masturbate. I love the voyeur/exhibitionist aspect of this fantasy, as well as the casual idea of being a able to get off with another woman without it being a full-on lesbian thing. This is part of where my first story (Secrets Between Sisters) came from.

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The girlfriend of a guy I knew in college once told me that she used a tub faucet to masturbate. I really didn’t know her all that well. For some reason the two of us were walking at night, and I don’t know how it came up, but I just remember that she told me that she was walking in the city once and looked into a window as she passed and saw two gay guys having sex. I don’t know how this led to her sharing her favorite masturbation technique, but she did. I was too freaked out to open up about my own naughty habits, and I still regret it to this day. Why was I such a fucking pussy when I was younger!!!??? (And where the fuck is that time machine!?)

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Ever since me and hubby crossed the anal sex line, my butt has played a much bigger role in my masturbation routine. If I’m playing with myself after getting out of the shower, my finger always ends up deep in my asshole as I pleasure my pussy. If at any point I feel a trickle of pussy juice slide down across my anus, I HAVE to finger my butthole no matter what! I also enjoy getting off by moving into a doggystyle type position and spreading a butt cheek with one hand while I fuck myself using the other. Feeling the cool air on my asshole ramps things up for me, but I also usually add in a fantasy that I’m exposing my butthole to someone watching (I often imagine it’s my brother or father (or both), but I’ve also pretended it’s a man (known or unknown) that I’ve encountered that day). This also goes along with the two-handed thing I mentioned earlier…

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Okay, now this is just becoming torture. I really need to find a discreet diddle buddy!

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I don’t know about the dry entry here, but it looks like she’s enjoying it!

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Love that clitty action! I sometimes wish mine was bigger – big enough that I could actually jerk it off between my thumb and forefinger. But, maybe that would be too much for me. I’d probably end up walking around with lady-wood most of the time, in which case I would be too tempted to wear super-tight pants that would rub against my tiny girl-dick and make me orgasm throughout the day. Yeah, I’d be a total mess! Maybe I should go with a big clit for a day fantasy instead, just to be safe. (Which would go along nicely with my big tits for a day fantasy.)

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This last one looks like an inspirational image for a story I should write about three sisters who are fed up with dating jerks and turn to each other for emotional and sexual comfort. But what happens when Mom catches them being naughty? Does she kick them out of the house, or does she confess that their dad isn’t getting the job done in the bedroom and join them?

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Might As Well Face It, You’re Addicted To…

I hate to use up a whole post for this random thought I had the other day, but, fuck it, I’m going to anyway…

So, I was once again pondering whether or not I’m addicted to porn as I was dusting and vacuuming like the dutiful little housewife and mom that I am. Then I conducted a quick thought experiment that made me feel a lot better. I’m sure there’s a flaw somewhere in my logic, but I don’t really want to find it!

This is what I came up with: If you took away my porn, I would still masturbate. But, if you took away my ability to masturbate, I wouldn’t still watch porn. So, this proves that I’m not addicted to porn. I’m addicted to masturbating! I don’t mind being a masturbation addict, I just don’t want to be labelled as a porn addict (even though I probably might be).

Either way, it made feel better about myself, and that’s all that matters. I have a lot more to say on this topic, but it’s been at least 10 minutes since I’ve looked at any porn and my fingers are beginning to twitch.

Gotta goooo!

Snooper Trooper

I was hiding my double dildo in the back of my sweater drawer yesterday after a rousing session and was reminded of a post from a little while back about making sure it wasn’t too difficult for either of my girls to find my sex toys when they’re older if they ever sneak into my room to snoop around the way I used to when I was a curious teen. I wondered what they’d think if they found Mommy’s strange rubber thing with two cockheads at either end. As I closed the drawer I told myself not to bother thinking about it because it would be many years before they began exploring my private places for sex stuff. Then a thought hit me like a thunderbolt! How did I not consider this before!?

In another year or so, my nephew Adam will be old enough to babysit my girls. The possibilities suddenly blew my mind. I wouldn’t have to wait seven or eight years for my nosy darlings to go poking through my things looking for naughty stuff. A year and half should give Adam time to become responsible enough to keep an eye on his cousins for a few hours while Aunty Rach and Uncle Dave go out for dinner and a movie – being sure not to come home until after the girls have gone to bed. A promised call to let my sweet nephew know we were leaving the theater should make him secure enough to venture into forbidden areas of our home without having to worry about being caught in the act. My heart still races whenever I think about this.

I’ve come up with a few other illicit plans over the years, but this is the first one I can easily implement and not have to worry about getting myself into trouble. My latest scheme was to give Adam a hand-me-down tablet that had some racy pictures of me in the trash bin. Of course Aunt Rachael is so clueless about technology that she didn’t know that she had to empty the trash to really delete those naughty images. But, if his parents ever found out, they’d know I wasn’t that un-tech savvy. But, with this new plan, it’s not my fault he went snooping in my bedroom!

I never expected my nephew to violate my privacy like that, your honor. I’m an innocent victim here! How was I to know he would go into my hamper and sniff my dirty panties while he jacked his cock? I never would have guessed he’d rummage through my lingerie drawer and suck the dildo I’d used the night before and hadn’t washed yet. I can’t be held responsible for him going through the pictures on my camera and finding selfies of me that I took while topless (and perhaps bottomless). And I assumed it was my husband’s dried jizz that I found on my toothbrush the next morning. The defense rests!

Maybe I could write some raunchy love letters for him to find. Or better yet, perhaps he could find my hidden x-rated diary where I reminisce about my sexual experiences and record the dirty fantasies I’m too embarrassed to share with my husband. I’d love to plant something that he could easily steal and take home with him to jerk off to, but I wouldn’t want him to get caught. Although, now that I think about it, he would likely use his phone to take pics of anything really good that he found. On the other hand, If was caught by his parents, this could actually lead to an interesting situation.

If my brother found naked pictures of me on his son’s phone, would he sweep it under the rug or come and talk to me about it? It would be hard to hide my excitement during such a conversation just knowing my brother had seen me naked, saw pictures of my fuck toys, or read about my depraved fantasies. Or, maybe my brother would keep them for his own private pleasure. Geez, my head is spinning with all the potential implications! This next year and a half is going to be torture for me!

In the meantime, I suppose I need to start shopping for a good HD nanny cam for my bedroom…

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This ‘n’ That

I have a couple bits of un-fun bizniss to get out of the way, and then a quick insight into my dirty mind.

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I love when you leave comments and I can’t get enough of them! I’ve complained about how clunky and basic the commenting system is on this blogging platform plenty of times, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon. One of the quirks of the system is that if anything is entered in the “website” field when you’re making a comment, then your message gets thrown into the spam bucket (it doesn’t even have to be a web address). I have no idea why, but it means that your comment won’t appear until I comb through the 30 to 50 items that show up in my spam bucket each day in order to rescue the occasional legitimate comment. If you want to your message to appear right away and not risk having it accidentally flushed with the real spam, always leave the “website” field blank!

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There has been a spike in requests for pictures of me. I want to once again make it clear that I don’t share pictures. If this is seems too vague, let me try to be more specific. I won’t share nude photos of myself. I won’t share clothed pics. I won’t share naked images with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share clothed pictures of me with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share photos of just my boobs, just my pussy, just my feet, or just any part of my body. I won’t send you pics of my sex toys, my dirty panties, or my used tampons. I won’t share pictures of my daughters, brother, or any family member. I guess what I’m trying to say (without sounding like too big of a bitch), is that I will not share pictures having anything to do with my private life. I totally understand why guys want/need my picture, but it’s just not going to happen. I’m honestly nothing all that special bodywise, and there are millions of willing naked women on the web with much more to offer than me. Part of my problem with the repeated requests is that I’m generally a people pleaser and I hate saying no. It’s uncomfortable for me to have to constantly say no even after I’ve addressed the sharing of pictures in other posts and in my FAQ. I feel like I freely share enough of my self through my stories and posts and don’t deserve the pressure to give more than I already do. Sorry for being such a downer on this topic, but if you want more details about why I’m so protective about sharing pictures, you can take a look at this post from waaaay back in 2014: Photophobia.

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In a recent email, a horny reader commented that he would like to be a fly on the wall when me and my friends get together with some wine. Well, I had to tell him that he would be one bored fly. My “mommy friends” are all very conservative and uptight (at least they are when we get together). It’s all about kids, TV shows, kids, clothes, kids, stupid husbands, and more kid stuff. To be honest, after about twenty minutes I’m ready to blow my brains out. But then my dirty mind takes over. As one of my friend chatters on, I wonder what she looks like naked. Big nipples or tiny points? Are they still firm or saggy fun bags? Hairy or shaved? Gnarly lips of delicate petals? Gaping fuck hole or modest love tunnel? I often wonder about what they look like when they masturbate. What technique do they use? Is she a furniture humper like me? Does she ram herself raw with a big dong while her legs are in the air? Does she quietly vibe herself under the blanket in the dark? Does she squat on a big black dildo in the middle of her living room and fuck it like there’s no tomorrow? After this, I start to bring husbands into the picture. Does she like to take it from behind or ride him reverse cowgirl style? Does she let him cum on her face? Do they tongue each other’s asshole like me and my husband? What would she do if I was sucking her husband’s cock right in front of her? Would she finger fuck herself and watch while I swallowed her man’s load? What if I took on all of their husbands at once? Three at a time filling each of my holes and covering me in hot jizz while those waiting their turn jerked their hard cocks in anticipation. Would my prudish friends gather around to lick my spunk-covered body clean after the men were done with me? Whew, yeah! So, while our get-togethers are extremely dull, I usually end up masturbating like a mad woman as soon as the tea party ends!

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