Oopsie Selfie: We Need to Talk

I heard his car pull in the driveway and my stomach knotted up even tighter than it already was. I’d been a mess all day from the moment I realized I’d texted a naked selfie to my son by accident. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, his reaction had me even more on edge. I had no idea how to deal with this.

He walked in and the first thing I saw was the shit-eating grin on his face. My cocky son knew he had the upper hand. He was usually the one who was in trouble for doing something he shouldn’t have been doing, but this time it was me. How could I have been so stupid? I’ll never take another naked picture of myself ever again!

“Hey, Mom,” he greeted me, the leering tone in his voice let me know he wasn’t going to let me off easy. Oh, well, nothing to do but own up to it and take what I had coming.

“We need to talk,” I said as firmly as I could manage, hoping he couldn’t hear my nervousness.

“We sure do,” he responded a little too confidently for my comfort. I cringed inwardly when he boldly looked me up and down, knowing that he could accurately picture what I looked like naked. I’d endured this from other men, but it was strange receiving this kind of lascivious appraisal from my own son. Strange…and something else…

“Did you delete that picture like I asked?”

He smiled mockingly before lying to me. “Yeah, sure I did.” He brushed past me and I followed him to the kitchen.

“Give me your phone, I want to make sure.”

“It wouldn’t matter anyway,” he said as he opened the refrigerator and stared into it. “I could have copied it a thousand times by now. Put it on a cloud drive, sent it to my email, sent it to someone else.”

My heart dropped. “Who? Who would you have sent it to?” There was no disguising the panic in my voice.

“I know a couple of my friends would give anything to see that picture of you.” He pulled out the pitcher of iced tea and let the door close. “Plus, Mr. Walsh next door has the hots for you. He’d probably pay me big time to get his hands on that picture.”

I did all I could to hold back. “Why are you torturing me like this?”

He got down a glass from the cupboard. “Oh, c’mon, you know I’m only teasing.” He shot me a cheeky wink as he poured. “Your dirty little secret is safe with me, Mom.” He gave me another one of his knowing smiles, then his eyes dropped to my chest and it slowly faded away as he stared longingly. I was wearing a heavy sweater, but I still felt completely exposed under his gaze.

“Just because you saw me like that doesn’t mean it gives you the right to treat me this way. I’m still your mother.”

“You sure are,” he said slowly, implying what exactly I couldn’t figure out in the moment. “I’m sorry, Mom, but I can’t stop thinking about seeing you like that. It changed the way I think about you.”

“Oh, God.” I covered my face with my hands and sat down on one of the two stools at our breakfast counter. “That was the stupidest thing I ever could have done. Please don’t make me regret it more than I already do.”

“Aw, it’s not so bad,” he assured me and patted me on the shoulder. “I mean, at least you looked super hot in that picture. Most moms would have been gross to see that way.” He sat on the stool next to me. “I got totally hard the second I saw it.”

“That’s what I mean. It’s not okay to talk to me like that,” I protested weakly, knowing I was helpless at that point. I wasn’t ever going to regain the moral high ground with my son.

“I get it, Mom, you have to be like this.” Another reassuring pat, this time on my knee. A oddly pleasant tingle ran through me at his touch. “But, really, nobody sends a pic like that to someone by accident.”

“You think I sent that to you on purpose? What kind of sicko do you think I am?”

He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. Moms do that type of thing all the time. There’s stuff like that all over the internet. It’s like how you ‘accidentally’ walked in on my jerking off a couple months back.”

“It was an accident,” I insisted, maybe a little too strongly. “I didn’t know you were even home.”

“Sure. Sure. But maybe that got you thinking, and you’ve been single for a long while, and I can’t remember the last time you went out on a date…”

“No, it’s not like that at all. You’ve got it all wrong…”

“Okay. So, did you delete the pic I sent you?”

I realized I hadn’t, but I wasn’t about to admit it. Nor was I going to admit that I’d looked at his dick pic a couple of times since he’d sent it. Each time I was intending to delete it, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t even understand why.

My son nodded after I’d paused too long in responding. He tapped his temple. “It’s all subconscious. You didn’t mean to walk in on me whacking off, but you did. You didn’t mean to send me a picture of your gorgeous pussy, but you did. You didn’t want to look at my dick, but you did. Don’t you see, Mom, this is what you really want.” With that, he grabbed the sizeable bulge that had appeared in the crotch of his pants.

I tried to deny everything he was saying, but I simply couldn’t do it convincingly enough. Was it really possible? Could he be right? Was I so pathetic and desperate that I was lusting after my own son? Was I truly that kind of sicko? I had to answer him. Was that what I really wanted? No! Of course not. Not in a million years. I had to tell him that in no uncertain terms. I cleared my throat and told him.

“Take it out.” My stomach unknotted. A sudden calm came over me. I should have been freaking out after what I’d just said. But the world was suddenly still and quiet. For the first time in a long while everything made sense to me.

“Wh…what?” my son stammered as he slipped down off of his high horse.

“Take your dick out,” I said softly. “I want to see it. Show your mother that big, hard cock of yours.”

“Uh…seriously…?” he questioned, still gripping his bulge.

I pulled my bulky sweater up and over my head, shaking out my long hair once it was off. I had on one of my fancy, lace bras – one of my “date” bras. I hadn’t thought about why I’d changed out of my boring normal bra that afternoon and put this one on in anticipation of our talk, but now it was obvious to me. He was right, this had been in my subconscious the whole time. And it would have stayed there if he hadn’t pushed me the way he did. It was my turn to push back.

“Aren’t you the one who likes playing ‘you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine’? You have the balls to come in here acting like you are, so how about proving to me just how big those balls of yours really are.”

From the look on his sweet face I could see I’d regained the upper hand. He was my little boy again, shy and scared, afraid to disobey Mommy, but not sure what to do.

“You want to play games with me? Then let’s play.” I grabbed my phone and swiped the camera button. “Now. Take…out…your…cock…”

~ ~ ~

Far and Away

My home away from home

The details of my life over the past year aren’t all that sexy, but enough of you have expressed an interest that I figured I should fill you all in on how things are going for me. So, strap in for the ride and try not to fall asleep!

It was almost a year ago (wow!) that we packed up the kids and moved to somewhere in Asia. The kids were confused about this, but I sold it to them as us going on a big adventure, which they merrily bought into (and it turned out to be true in a sense). We got here, settled in, and a couple weeks later they were in school. I was scared about not speaking the language, but it turns out that you can accomplish a lot without words. After all this time the most I’ve learned (that has stuck) is “Thank you” and “Hello/Goodbye.”

One of my biggest challenges (aside from figuring out how I was going to get porn) was food. The food here is great, but I had to rely on places that had pictures on their menus so I could just point to what I wanted. Luckily there’s a McDonald’s a couple blocks away so the girls can get their nugget fix every couple of weeks. Cooking at home, however, was more of a challenge than I expected.

For one thing, they don’t have ovens here! That eliminates about 75% of my standard meal plans! Also, ingredients for my favorite home go-to meals are often tricky to find in the local markets. There are American grocery stores, but they’re out of the way and expensive. Instead of beating my head against the culture wall and trying to make the stuff I would make back home, I just made the effort to learn to cook like they do here. This has definitely brought my stress levels down at the store!

My attempt at beef stew

Speaking of expensive, it’s funny what kinds of things over here have become an extravagance for us. Butter is one. Not sure why – milk is plentiful and reasonably priced. Also, cheese is rare and pricey here as well. I get that this is because cheese isn’t a staple of the Asian diet, but c’mon – it’s cheese! It’s good on everything! The other one that blew me away is maple syrup. I saw a small jug (maybe a pint) of Vermont syrup in a special section of the grocery store a few months back. It had a security tag attached to it. This seemed odd until I looked closer and saw that it was $30! Sorry, kids – no pancakes for breakfast until we get home.

Other than my food troubles, everything else has been wonderful! The city is great. They have an awesome mass-transit system so we don’t need a car. The school the girls are going to is great – they love it and have made lots of new friends. Hubby is enjoying his job. The only drawback for me has been missing out on my naughty hobby!

Porn is restricted here. You can’t just log on and go to PornHub. Most all of that is blocked, and when you try to go to a forbidden site you get a nasty-gram on your screen telling you the government doesn’t want you to see titties, pussies, cocks, and assholes. Mind boggling.

But, as many of you told me, you can get around all that by using a VPN. So I signed up for one of those and I’m able to sneak past the censors, and also make it look like I’m connecting to sites as if I’m in the U.S., which allows me to connect to my Comcast and Netflix accounts to watch my American shows. It makes me wonder if the government here has a stake in the VPN business…Hmmm.

Anyway, my next hurdle is my internet connection itself. We have free wifi through hubby’s company, but I’m paranoid about them being able to see what sites I’m visiting and peeking into my emails. They may not care, but I don’t want to take chances. As a consequence, I spend a lot of time at a few different local coffee shops and use their free internet services. It’s not very conducive to watching porn, but I am able to download a video or two then watch them at home. It’s a bit frustrating to have to survive on this kind of drip, drip, drip of porn instead of the open firehose of filth back home, but I’m managing!

I recently got myself a mobile wifi hotspot type of device. This allows me to connect at home without having to go through the company’s connection. It’s slow, but it works for email and posting to the blog, so that’s a good thing.

I’m a little worried that when I get back home I’m going to end up locking myself in a room and masturbate to porn for 3 days straight! When they break down the door they’ll find me naked and dehydrated in front of my computer without the strength to click on the next tranny threesome anal cum-swapping ball torture video.

My new nightly hang out

One of the disappointing things is that due to the repressive nature of the society over here there’s not a lot of sexy stuff going on outside. The women dress very conservative. I actually had my very first cleavage siting the other day! Otherwise, boobs are very hidden in public. Legs, however, are a different story. A lot of short skirts with stockings (mostly white ones in the summer). Yeah, if you’re into legs, this is the place to be.

And, I must say, I know now why many men have a fetish for Asian women. I’m pretty sure I’ve developed one myself. My husband said something funny a couple months after we arrived. “The women here are so beautiful. Even the ugly ones are cute!” And he’s right. The men, on the other hand, don’t do much for me. They don’t smile, don’t dress nicely, and they don’t seem to notice you at all. I don’t know, maybe that’s a good thing.

Things in the bedroom have been fantastic. I don’t know if it’s the foreign air, or all the Asian hotties flitting about, but our sex drive at home has been running high. We’re fucking at least 4 or 5 times a week (up from 2 or 3 back home). I think it might be that we don’t have any friends around to occupy ourselves with, so we just have each other. But, whatever it is, I’m not complaining!

I didn’t bring any of my toys when we came over. I was too afraid that I’d be the one at customs with my dozen vibrators and dildos lined up on the table. I did invest in an electric toothbrush, however, and have used that on several occasions when I needed an electronically enhanced orgasm. I wasn’t sure it would work because it’s so small compared to some of my big, work-horse toys I have at home, but it does get the job done!

I suppose I should also admit that I’ve made use of the occasional phallic-shaped vegetable. What can I say? Sometimes you just need to jam something up in there and fingers aren’t enough. Also, I have the reliable standby of humping whatever furniture there happens to be. Yeah, I’ve grinded myself on the corner of just about everything in our apartment by this point. My two favorite spots are the corner of the kitchen table (just the right height) and the edge of the bathroom sink (cold and hard).

We also have an unusual bathroom arrangement (normal for here, but unusual for back home). There’s no separate shower or tub, it’s all just one big open space with a drain in the middle of the room. The whole bathroom acts like your shower. It does, I’ll admit, have its advantages. It’s very convenient when you want to clean the sink and toilet because you can just hose them down with the shower head.

A few months after we got here I was helping the girls take their shower, and for the umpteenth time I ended up getting soaked in the process. I just gave up, got naked, and joined them. They thought it was funny, but I told them that’s just how it was done in our new country. They were fine with it, so now the three of us happily take our showers together and we have a blast. It’s nice not to have to fight to get them to take a bath. Now shower time is fun time! Yay!

So, that’s about it, I guess. I’m expecting my hubby’s overseas gig to get extended, which I have mixed feelings about. It really has been a fantastic opportunity for me and the girls to experience a new culture and get a kind of perspective we never would have otherwise. I’m hoping this will make us all better people in the long run! So many of my friends cringe at the idea of living in a foreign country based mainly on misconceptions and misinformation. That’s not the type of close-minded American I want to be, and I definitely don’t want my kids growing up thinking the rest of the world is nothing but “shithole” countries.

In the meantime, I’m going to go ogle some hot Asian bitches strutting around on their sexy legs!

~ ~ ~

Public Exposure

Just a quickie post to let you know what’s on my mind. I was very excited yesterday to find that I have managed to whittle my unanswered emails down to less than 500! Sorry again for leaving so many of you hanging during my disappearing act. The messages I get are very important to me and I’ve always tried to respond to them all (except the ones that amount to little more than “Hi, send me a picture of your pussy”). I wouldn’t say I’m offended by these kinds of eMails, I understand the motivation behind it, but it feels a little like the writer is saying that what I’m already giving up of myself isn’t enough and that I owe him more. I guess I can’t let it bother me, it’s all part of the smut peddler’s life I chose.

On the flip side, I have gotten a wonderful crop of dick pics since I announced my return! I continue to be mystified by women who denigrate the unsolicited dick pic. I find them to be a lovely treat that brightens my day. Then again, I suppose I’m sorta asking for it. I’ve also received a couple of private wife/gf photos, which are also fun for me to see. I get a wicked thrill being privy to naughty pics of real people that I’m not supposed to be seeing. Anyway, just wanted to let all my dick pic-ers to know I appreciate the gesture and if getting me turned on by exposing yourself (and your loved ones) was your goal, then mission accomplished!

Speaking of public exposure, getting back in the porn game after so long away, and getting a flood of very encouraging responses, has reminded me of why I got into writing porn in the first place. The excitement I feel about being back in the mindset of creating filthy stories from my perverted ideas is driven in large part by my fervent yearning to publicly expose myself. I have fantasies of literally exposing myself: giving a man a peek up my skirt on the train, flashing a tit to an unsuspecting college student passing by, or bending over and giving a nice old man a show. But, it seems, I’m far too unadventurous to actually do these things. It was a big challenge for me just to walk around the mall back home showing a generous amount of cleavage (arousing, yet still scary).

However, what I can do without fear, is publicly expose myself through my writing. All the nasty thoughts, taboo fantasies, and socially unacceptable impulses that have manifested in my brain since I hit puberty had always been a source of some degree of shame for me. I always thought I was weird, or abnormal, or disgusting for thinking the kinds of things I did. And not only did I think them, but I got turned on by them. And not only did I get turned on by them, I fingered myself constantly to these deviant thoughts. There were times I felt like a freakish sex monster (not that this stopped me from playing with myself in the dark).

Now, as you know, I am able to embrace my inner sex monster and find a certain degree of comfort with it. No, I’m not acting these things out in real life (like many of you are brave enough to do), but being able to put my aberrant thoughts down on “paper” then share them with the world is a huge thrill for me. Not only admitting that I have these kinds of thoughts, but being able to express them to others, has turned out to be an amazing outlet for me. The validation I get when I hear from people who like what I do, and even tell me I helped them cum, is a gift that I can’t put a high enough value on.

So while you won’t see me out on the street spreading my legs any time soon, I want to offer my most sincere thanks for allowing me to expose myself to you in my own special way! It truly is a privilege that I hope I never lose.