A.W.O.L. (Absent Writer Overthinking Leave)

Let me start with an apology for going AWOL on you all for the past few weeks. I’m sorry to have worried many of you, and to have disappointed everyone checking in with genitals in hand hoping to find something new to stimulate the aforementioned naughty bits. My quiet little life was thrown into a bit of a whirlwind recently – nothing bad, really, just very disruptive. This resulted in my favorite naughty hobby falling to the bottom of my “To Do” list. I kept planning on posting something to let everyone know what was going on, but it kept getting pushed off to tomorrow.

So, here’s the deal. My dear hubby has been offered a promotion at work (which we are very excited about). This promotion, however, is contingent on him doing a stint for the company overseas. A relatively long stint, at that. We began with discussions about it, which evolved into debates, and in a few instances turned into disputes. After all that, we’ve decided that he’s going to take the promotion and that me and the kids will be going along with him into the foreign unknown.

I’m very excited about this (in a non-panty-soaking sort of way) not only for his promotion, but for the opportunity to experience a new culture, and for the girls to expand their horizons at such a young age. But (you had to know there’d be a but!), our destination country is one that isn’t what we would call porn friendly. Ugh! Of course, this wasn’t exactly a viable argument for me to work into our discussions, though it probably factored more into my willingness to go that I’d like to admit.

We’re due to go in a couple of months, and I only have about a million and six things to do before that happens. I’m going to try to do a better job with updates and such during that time, but I’m probably going to be spotty at best. Then, once I get where we’re going, I’ll have a lot to figure out. Will I be able to safely circumvent the technical hurdles to accessing porn (including sites like my own blog)? Will the foreign secret police try to hunt down and punish an incest-adoring smut peddler like me? Plus, our internet access will be provided by my husband’s company – will their IT people notice that there is a lot of taboo traffic heating up our internet connection while my husband is supposedly working? Even if I’m just being paranoid, it feels like the risks are just way too high to be worth chancing it.

I don’t know. Maybe it won’t be as bad as I’m imagining, but at this point I’m assuming I’ll be restricted in what I can do online for one reason or another (perhaps trying to figure out life in a country where I don’t speak the language!). I keep imagining my husband being called into the boss’s office one day…”Hey, Dave, we need to talk about the erotic story your wife posted online the other day using our internet account that, according to the local unit of the Perversion Police, contains bisexual incestuous butt sex that takes place in front of a classroom of masturbating high schoolers…” Yeah, none of those imagined meetings ends up good for me.

So, I’m still completely unsure about how things will play out for my writing and blog (and masturbation material) at the moment. I figure the worst case scenario is that I will have to contain myself to offline writing (and wanking) while I’m on porn-hostile foreign soil. If I’m able to find the time, I can finish all the stories I’ve started and have yet to conclude. I can also, maybe, focus on my goal of writing an erotic novel (or two) that I can publish when I get home to the States. I just don’t know how much filthy freedom I’ll actually have, so I can’t say for sure what I’ll be able to do.

Either way, I should have posted all this a lot sooner and I apologize again for leaving you hanging in the meantime. I hope you can forgive me for being in a tizzy over this and not knowing yet how things will turn out. Your support and love over the years (can you believe it’s been YEARS!) has meant a lot to me, and know that I’ll be making every effort to keep our naughty fun rolling as best as I can while I embark on this adventure with my family.

Maybe I’ll just have to get better at multi-tasking…

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