Come and Cum

Slippery Tip #8: Know your cum.

There’s an ongoing debate in porn grammar circles about which is “proper” – come or cum. The short answer is both. The long answer is either. This is one of those style choices I’ve mentioned before, where there’s not hard and fast rule that presides.

Cum is a slang term, not an official word, so some writers dismiss it on these grounds. Come is historically the original term of art, but I’m not going to bore you with the etymology. All that really matters is that for each story you write, you chose one form and stick with it. Consistency is the key to all the best orgasms! (I’m pretty sure I’m paraphrasing Einstein or Aristotle or MacArthur with that statement, but I can’t be bothered to look it up right now).

My preference, as you may have noticed, is to use cum. It feels dirtier to me, and just oozes sex! “I shot my come all over my mother’s face” doesn’t look right to me. Which I find distracting. Which causes my fingers to go still. Which doesn’t make anyone happy!

A good hybrid solution is to use “cum” only in the context of the noun form to represent the physical substance of the ejaculate, and use “come” as the verb for the act of ejaculating. Billy yelled, “I’m coming!” then shot a big wad of cum deep inside his sister’s cunt.

As long as you don’t switch back and forth between different forms, readers won’t much care which one you use if the story is otherwise turning them on. Although, I have one little caveat, which (again) is just my own personal preference. I use cum, cumming, came. I don’t like cummed as the past tense form. It just sounds dumb to me. But, if you want the climax of your sex scene to sound dumb, that’s up to you!

Also, as long as we’re on the subject, keep in mind that cum itself has discrete components. I sometimes see writers mess up the technical details of this – which, again, may not bother most readers, but the closer you can get to being accurate when you describe bodily details in detail, the better. Remember that semen is the whole package, same as cum – all the goo that shoots from the cock at orgasm. The semen contains sperm (those little wiggly fellas). You can get away with calling a guy’s ejaculate sperm (which I’ll sometimes do when it makes thing sound extra dirty), but it’s technically off the mark. Another good thing to note is that the sperm is produced and stored in the testicles, whereas the seminal fluid is produced by various glands scattered throughout the male reproductive system. Just keep this in mind next time you’re describing her “draining his balls” or “sucking his balls dry.” All the nasty ingredients that make up cum are magically brought together in the explosive process of orgasm to produce the delicious concoction that we all love so much.

Oh, and one more thing, a pet peeve of mine…cum isn’t sticky! Not at first. I’ve handled a lot of cum, as I’m sure all of you have, and the last thing you think when you play with a handful of the stuff is that it’s sticky. It’s gooey and gloopy, yes, but not sticky. In fact, it’s the exact opposite! Cum is slippery (which is how my tips got that way in the first place!). The main function of pre-cum is to help lube things up for penetration. One of the key functions of seminal fluid is to lubricate the pathway for those hard-swimming little sperms to get to where they’re going (which more often than not is your belly button). It’s NOT sticky! Now, give that cum a few hours pressed between the pages of a Playboy magazine hidden under a mattress, and that’s a whole different situation.

Bottom line: Decide which form of cum/come works for the story you’re writing and stick with that form throughout. Also, if you’re going to write about sex, it wouldn’t hurt to study up on the human reproductive system (and, guys, some of you need to pay special attention to the “womb” and its role in the normal course of sex and being a woman. Hint: I’ve never felt my womb “clench” upon seeing a sexy man cross my path).

Whew, now I’m in the mood to whip up a nice batch of my very own homemade lady cum. And I suggest the rest of you pull down your pants and do some research yourselves!

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6 thoughts on “Come and Cum

  1. Love your writing. I also love the word cum. You do an amazing job. Keeps me cumming.

  2. Hi Rachel
    Did you send a notify email via the mailing list? If so it never arrived??

    Can’t wait for all the next instalments. Keep ’em cumming.

  3. I’m completely with Rachael on this (and I suspect that the vast majority of the US porn-reading audience agrees, too). Some words just carry that extra bit of impact. To give a counter-example, I know that the term “arse” is favored by the British and the Australians – but it just doesn’t carry the connotations that “ass” does to my thoroughly American dirty mind.

    “Sticky cum” is one of those things that makes me wonder if the writer is a virgin. Or inexperienced / writing from an unfamiliar perspective. A common example is someone talking about anal sex, and “how incredibly tight” it is. I personally have a small amount of experience with the male side of anal sex, and – honestly, it’s *not* that tight. Admittedly, I’m not working from a large number of data points. Anal can be exciting for a number of reasons: it’s ‘dirty’, and ‘forbidden’, etc. But I don’t think it’s notable for its snug fit.

    Having once been the Caboose on a small Train, I can testify to freshly ejaculated cum being one of the slipperiest things in existence.

  4. I’ve always been on the side of the fence that thinks that “come” is for erotica and “cum” is for stroke stories. [It’s just one of those things that pulls me out of a story like a blatant typo. “He sucked on her bleasts and rubbed her klower lips with his fingertips.”]

  5. Very fine points cum definitely not sticky. My pet peeve is when reading a
    story and the guy whips out his 13″ cock that’s as fat as a coke can. Whatever
    picture I was painting in my head was just ruined, I just can’t deal with the unrealistic.

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