Self Corruption

I was asked the other day about what got me started writing porn. I was pretty sure I had discussed this at some point on the blog, but I couldn’t find anything. There’s a brief bit in my About Me diatribe regarding my writing, though it’s not very detailed So, at the risk of repeating myself, I thought it would be worthwhile to talk about what got me into this depraved little hobby of mine for the benefit of anyone who doesn’t already know.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and studied it quite a bit when I was in high school and college. The problem was I never finished writing anything I started. I learned the mechanics of good writing, but when it came right down to it I didn’t have anything meaningful to say and so my efforts often stalled because I would lose interest. Then a few years ago I started reading erotica online.

I discovered Literotica and checked out some of the “normal” stories. It wasn’t long before I found the incest category. I started reading those and was really turned on by them (which wasn’t surprising given the nature of my own secret fantasies). After a while, however, I became annoyed with how unrealistic or poorly written most of these stories were. I can’t focus on the sexy stuff and get off when my brain is distracted by typos, bad grammar, weak characters, and silly plot lines. One day I decided to try to write my own incest fantasy.

The experience was amazing and caught me totally off guard. I managed to get halfway through the story without any trouble and I was insanely turned on the whole time. I only stopped writing because I had to make myself cum. I sat right there in front of the computer, reading back over my own words and envisioning the scene I’d created while I finger fucked myself to an orgasm that reduced my whole body to warm jelly.

It was only after I regained my senses that I realized that I’d been writing for hours without having been aware of it. That night and the next morning all I could think about was getting back to my computer and writing. Dialogue was popping into my head as I made dinner, filthy sex scenes played out in my mind as I muddled through bath time and putting my girls to bed, and as my husband fucked me that night I imagined the characters in the story watching us as they masturbated.

By the time I was finally able to sit down at the keyboard again, I was so keyed up that the rest of the story just poured out of me (much like the juices from my pussy). I topped off that session with another self-induced orgasm and couldn’t believe I’d managed to actually finish a story without any angst or struggle. That’s when I knew I was onto something special.

That first story was “Secrets Between Sisters.” I began thinking about sharing it on the web, but there was a lot of fear and trepidation. What if someone I knew found out I had written something as socially unacceptable as a lesbian incest story? It would ruin my reputation as a respectable member of the community; it could damage my marriage; it might alienate me from my extended family. I even worried that I could get into legal trouble. I continued to edit and polish the story, but I couldn’t decide what to do with it.

After a time I calmed down. If I was careful I could share it anonymously. There was so much porn out there, what were the chances of someone I knew not only reading my stuff, but also then figuring out it was me? Pretty slim, I convinced myself. I created an account on Lush and posted the story with a mix of excitement and nausea.

When I checked back the next day I was expecting the worst. People calling me a pervert (which wouldn’t bother me in the least now), hate mail telling me I would go to hell, and other assorted general condemnation. Instead, I was happy to find nothing but positive feedback and encouragement to write more. It was a thrill to see something I had written “published” on a real website, and to know that people were not only enjoying my fantasy but getting off to it as well!

It’s easy to see why I was hooked from that point on. I still worry about getting caught and the dire consequences that would entail, but I can’t resist the lure of writing about all the nasty things I dream up in my twisted imagination. I often question what I do knowing that writing dirty stories is a somewhat juvenile pursuit, and sometimes wonder if it is at its core harmful to me and my readers. But then I have to face the fact that I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to (this may be a clinical definition for addiction).

It brings me a lot of pleasure to write porn, and I know it brings pleasure to others. Even if I try to turn it off, depraved ideas for stories, characters or sex scenes constantly surface from my subconscious and inspire me to drop my pants, let my tits out, get back in front of the computer, and write until I can’t take it anymore and I have to ravage my own pussy there on the spot.

The fact remains, however, that without all of you it’s highly unlikely I would still be doing what I do. Yes, the writing process is exciting in and of itself, but what really makes it such a perverse delight for me is knowing that you’re going to read it!

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17 thoughts on “Self Corruption

  1. You are a treasure, Rachael. We appreciate everything you share, both in stories and personal revelations. (I still get off thinking about your first anal experience…)

  2. Oh Rachael. We so appreciate your stories and giving others a place to share theirs with your editing help. I look daily for updates and new stories to feed my habit!!

  3. Rachel really like your blog. I do look forward to your postings most as well as the ones from other reader. The thought that you were playing with that hot wet pussy always adds more to the reading. You take care look forward to your next story.

  4. Thank you for posting your content ! Really enjoy reading them at night when my wife is asleep, cant wait for more Open Door Policy content.

  5. The late Harry Chapin wrote a song many years ago about an amateur singer, Mr. Tanner. In it, hr wrote “He did not know how well he sang, it just made him whole.” It is the same with us, your loyal fans. We are all amateur Hemingway’s and having a venue like this makes us (you included, whole. Thank you for the opportunity.

  6. Hey Rachael just let you know I love you blogg and your story too. Please keep it go for us readers of your pron. it help me to get off reading your story and some time me and my girlfriend will act out the sex seen we just read. We are looking forward to the next part of open door policy.

  7. Keep at it Rachael, it is good stuff, and as you said, some of the stories on such sites as Lit are just outrageous with poor plot, unrealistic body parts, and all the rest that becomes a total turn off. Enjoy your blog, stories, and captions.

  8. Well i love that you have decided to do it and share your delicious thoughts with all of us. I think your stories are fantastic, and your random blog posts as well. Here’s to you finding inspiration and pleasure for a long time to cum.

  9. You are wonderful Rachael and the effort you put into the site is so appreciated by all of us.

  10. I love your stories, Rachael. You are a talented writer. Your incest fantasies remind me of when I hit puberty. The first woman I ever fantasized about was my gorgeous aunt (Sometimes I still do). Your stories always get me so turned on. Keep it up, and so will I. ;)

  11. I love having your site here. As we discussed, I too had incestuous thoughts for years and it never failed to make me hard as hell. But like you, I worried about the ramifications of discovery. Then, along came the internet. And sex sites. And the discovery that there’s others like me…even girls!!

    Your writing is fantastic as is that of several others on this blog. I hope to contribute my own soon.

  12. This is a nice bit of inspiration for me. I’ve fiddled around with writing for years and have always wanted to write a story. I have some especially dirty thoughts that’d I’d love to share with others. I guess I really just need to quit procrastinating and get to it.

  13. @Andy: I often find that the hardest part is just getting started. Once you start putting words on the page, you lose yourself in the fantasy world you’re creating and you can only wonder why you put it off for so long!

  14. Than you for sharing this, and as the comments all show, we are greatful for both the insight and the output. I think many of us could fall into the basics of this boat.. I’ve long toyed with penning erotic tales. I can string a few words together here and there with eloquence, but the demands of family and work and what-not always offer convenient obstacles, but since finding your site I have to admit it seems the place I hope to finally create and submit to. You’ve created a nice haven here, a community of what seems pretty decent folk who just happen to share arousal at an issue that is still deeply taboo.
    In a word, you rock.

  15. Discovered this blog for the first time, read one story on my phone, read about 100 of your tweets and couldn’t wait to get home from work all day so I could really dive into another. Love your mind! Huge fan! I thought terrible for some of my darker fantasies, so glad I’m not alone!

  16. I’m only grateful you take the time to do all this.
    I too wonder about it all. Are my incestuous thoughts wrong? Would my time be better spent (simple answer there!)? Why does it arouse me so much, when in my own family nothing is further from reality?

    And I must add, how do you find the time? It would be far too noticeable here if I was to spend my time writing everything I wanted.

    But it’s great you do, and I’m so pleased to have found your site Rachael.

  17. Hi
    I just read the intro of the home page and the first story with her brother and when i realize i was jerking off right next to my wife ready to cum.
    I will read 1 story every night its better than porn.
    Thanks

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