Back to the Grind

Cecily Strong and I have a lot in common!
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I recently had a question from a horny reader asking me to expound on the feelings I get when I masturbate by humping my pussy against something – these days it’s usually the hard corner of a table or the soft edge of a sofa arm. I’m not sure I can do it justice, but I’ll see what I can do.

Like many young girls, I discovered that rubbing my crotch on things felt good. Even though I didn’t begin deliberately giving myself orgasms by this method until I was 13ish, I had been known to enjoy the pleasure of straddling the monkey bars, pressing my cunny against the corner of the ottoman, or sitting on my father’s knee horsey style and going for a little ride. I didn’t equate those sensations with sex back then, I just knew that it felt nice.

With puberty, those feelings got nicer. I was much more aware of the sexual associations between my pussy and the good feelings I could get by lying face down and rhythmically pressing my hips over one of those high spots on my mattress where a spring was. It didn’t take long before I figured out that if I flexed my inner muscles at the same time, the feeling got even better. My next advancement in masturbation technology was putting one or both of my hands underneath my mound of newly sprouted pubes to give me something more substantial to grind against. This was only ever done late at night, lights off, under the covers, in my pajamas.

No one ever told me about masturbation or that it should be kept private, but once I started humping my hands, I was certain I was doing something bad – or, at least, something I should be embarrassed about doing. I knew I was being a weirdo, and I didn’t want anyone to know what I was doing, especially because I was the only girl in the whole world who did something so perverted!

It’s hard for me to say when exactly I had my first orgasm. I hear a lot of stories from woman who can pinpoint it to an exact WHAM! moment, when all of the sudden this new world of sexual awareness opens up to them and they know it. For me, it happened more as a gradual continuum. It felt good, it felt better, then awesome, then oh wow, oh wow, yes, this is my new favorite thing forever! I don’t ever remember that WHAM! moment, but certainly somewhere along the way I went from making myself feel good to having legitimate orgasms.

So, that was then. Now I’d say that about 60% of my solo masturbation is fingers, 30% toys, and maybe 5-10% humping or grinding (the frequency can change depending on my mood), with the balance being “other.” Almost all of my grinding is done around the house using whatever piece of furniture happens to be turning me on at the moment. I’ve also been known to use the edge of the kitchen counter, or the edge of a display case at work on a couple of desperately indiscreet occasions.

I pretty much always hump stuff wearing some kind of pants or shorts, or if I’m puttering around in my undies I’ll just have panties on. Having some kind of fabric covering my crotch helps keep the grinding smooth and seems to distribute the pressure better. I also don’t end up leaving a snail trail on the arm rest of the couch! Plus, humping a corner or edge tends to be a more spur of the moment thing for me, rather than a planned pleasure session. I’ll often just be going about doing some bit of housework, my mind churning over story ideas or planning my next blog post, and next thing I know I’m riding the corner of my dining room table.

What appeals to me about it is that it’s a different sensation from any of my other masturbation methods. Not having my hands involved changes what I have to do to get off. Strangely, it’s a lot like having sex. To make myself cum, I have to move my body, most specifically my hips. That motion elicits all sorts of other associations in my mind, and it’s easy to imagine that I’m fucking someone. It’s also somewhat less direct. I’m not actually touching my naked clit with a finger or vibrator, and there’s nothing directly stimulating that collection of nerve endings at the entrance of my vagina. This makes the whole process slower, slightly frustrating, and so much more satisfying when you finally get there.

I rarely use my adolescent technique of lying on my hands, or fucking a pillow. I do it using this method maybe a few times a year. It still feels good, but half the time I give up and just finish myself with my fingers. I think the added weight and pressure of doing it standing makes it quicker and more gratifying. Lying on the bed or floor and going at it like a spastic frog in heat for fifteen minutes can be fun, but I often don’t have the patience for it.

I love to masturbate with and for my husband. However, I’ve never let him see me rub one out like that. I’ve obviously humped his body while we’re fooling around (grinding my cunt on his leg as I suck his cock, for instance), but he’s never seen me fuck a piece of furniture. I suppose I would share this with him if he ever expressed an interest, but I don’t know that I would let him watch me hump my hands or a pillow in bed. Maybe there are still some feelings of guilt and embarrassment wrapped up with making myself cum by that method, but it would just be too weird for me.

Well, I’m pretty sure I did a lousy job of answering the question, but that’s the best I can do for now. I’ve been pausing to press my hands between my legs every few minutes as I was writing this, and now I’m all charged up and ready to go. I have no choice but to hump something after all that. I’m thinking that I should try something new. A doorknob? The bannister? The corner of the toy box in the girls’ room? Or should I go old school and find some monkey bars? Maybe when it warms up a little more – brrr!

Here’s a nice compilation of humpers from I Feel Myself to help polish yourself off:

Humping Masturbation Overload

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4 thoughts on “Back to the Grind

  1. For a few real fun O’s. Try a plastic fruit juice
    container cleaned out. It’s portable hard, and
    warm-hot-cold water inside is oh so much
    naughty joy………..

    P.S avoid milk gallon jugs, the caps pop off too easy!

  2. Darling Rachael:
    I began just with fingers over my pj bottoms I had just turned 12 when I felt my first true orgasm. Like you I adore making my body feel good. I guess I’m 50 / 50 on fingers or toys. But that said the washing machine on spin cycle is a lovely treat at times I adore using Hitachi over my panties and watching my pussy ooze when I have that magic climax. I kind of like the feel of wet panties as I walk around the house. I love your musings about things that turn you on even though I am lesbian we are women with needs that we tend to and do often daily. Maybe some day I will submit a piece for you to post. Thanks as always for sharing
    Love
    Minnona

  3. There’s just something wildly arousing about watching a woman hump an inanimate object; pillows and furniture are always a personal favorite. It’s just knowing that she’s so randy, so aroused that anything will do to vitalize the sexual sensation between her thighs, and to see a woman grinding away on something like the arm of a chair or couch brings me to full mast every time.

  4. I actually hasn’t tried the grinding on furniture or anything like since my teens myself, although that is pretty much how masturbation began for me. It was my teddy to start with of course. That hard plastic little nose of his just seemed to hit all the right spots. Now as far as when I had my first orgasm, I guess I was about 13,14 or somewhere in there. There was this one sofa we had once that had these really wide soft plush arm rests. I always set on them for some reason, and I can remember straddling one on a few occasions and gently rocking to and fro as that warm tingly sensation washed thru me right there with my family in the same room. That always really turned me on, but it was mostly from my family more so than just from the grinding on the arm rest. I think.

    Today however I am a true lover of toys. Especially my Hitachi. Like Minnona talked about. Especially about the feeling of walking around in a patriot wet sticky outbid panties. But I must say I am a little curious to give this a try again now that I am an adult with a much broader imagination. But still no matter what, I always believe nothing is more productive than your own fingers at times.

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