Fappy Anniversary

Time for a little self reflection

Just the other day, an attentive reader pointed out that I signed up at Literotica one year ago on April 20th. I checked and my one year anniversary on Lush is coming up on May 1st. I was legitimately surprised that I’ve been playing in this filthy little sandbox of ours for a whole year already! I suppose this makes it a good time for a bit of reflection.

It’s funny to think back on those first days and how nervous I was. I’d been reading porn online for a while, and I had a nagging urge to add my voice to the already crowded chorus of perversion. I tried writing “conventional” erotic stories, but they weren’t very exciting and I never actually finished one. Then I decided to get personal, and write something more along the lines of what my secret fantasies were about: incest.

I told myself that the story would just be something for me, and wasn’t planning on sharing it. I was obviously lying to myself, but I didn’t really know it at the time. I decided to write a lesbian story, even though I had no personal experience with another woman. My main characters were two sisters, even though I didn’t have a sister. Yes, it was incest, but it wasn’t remotely like any of my actual fantasies I’d used over the years to pleasure myself. Nonetheless, when I sat down to write, the story just flowed out of me onto the page. I didn’t struggle like I had with the conventional stories I’d attempted, and I found myself getting horny as hell while writing, which was a new experience.

I banged out the first two-thirds of the story before I had to abandon the keyboard before I was overwhelmed with the need to put my fingers to better use. After I came, I knew I’d discovered something special. For the rest of the day and that night, all I could think about was my new story. It was alive in my head, and the scenes were as vivid as if I’d actually witnessed the events in real life. I woke up early the next morning, went straight to my computer and finished it before anyone else in my family got out of bed. That was “Secrets Between Sisters,” and I was hooked!

I agonized for a time over publishing the story, but I knew I had to. The other struggle I had was how much to reveal about myself online. I waffled between remaining absolutely anonymous and disclosing just enough about myself to give people a sense of who was behind the kinky story I’d created. I know that it can enhance the reading experience for me if I know something about the author, so I was leaning toward the latter option. The fear of revealing too much and being unmasked, however, still held me back. Ultimately, my aching desire to share my nasty little story pushed me past the fear and I leapt into the smut game with both feet (ready to jump out if things got too scary).

Well, here I am a year later and I’m just as keyed up to share my next story as I was my first. I’ve met a lot of really wonderful and supportive people along the way (yes, I’m talking to you), and I know that for every one that I’ve had contact with, there are a dozen more lurking in the shadows who are more comfortable remaining silent. I expected a certain amount of rejection and criticism for my incestuous inclinations, but I haven’t had a single person condemn my desires or inform me that I’m going to hell.

Even though I’ve kept all this a secret from my husband, it has had a profound impact on our sex life together. There are the more obvious changes (I’ve been horny pretty much 24/7 for the past year, and I’ve literally opened myself up to anal sex), but there are also more subtle effects as well. I feel a lot more comfortable with my body, nudity and sex in general, which has improved the intimacy between us (at least it has for me). I’m also much more accepting of my taboo fantasies than I ever was.

I’ve been masturbating to thoughts of my brother, father, and mother since I was a teenager. In my mind, they have fucked me in every conceivable way, and I’ve watched them do unspeakable things with each other. No matter how much I’ve enjoyed these fantasies over the years, they’ve always come with a certain measure of guilt and shame. I can’t say I don’t still have a little of both now and then, but for the most part I’ve embraced my dark secret and have given myself permission to derive pleasure from my twisted fantasies without undue self-recrimination. This has gone a long way to free up my spirit, and has actually allowed me to feel less restrained around my brother and parents.

One of the unexpected benefits of writing my blog is that I’ve found it’s a great place to find out what I think. I’ve addressed some issues that make me feel somewhat uncomfortable here, but forcing myself to sit down and articulate my feelings about a given topic has helped me define and clarify my thinking in a way I otherwise never would have. The blog has been an invaluable tool for me to explore myself and sometimes discover aspects of me that I might never have become consciously aware of as a dutifully “normal” mother and housewife.

What I usually look like when I’m writing

I’m extremely grateful for all the wonderful gifts I’ve gained from this experience. The thing is that none of this would be possible if it wasn’t for the small army of dedicated readers who make all the difference. If I wrote all these stories and tucked them away in a drawer, they wouldn’t mean half as much to me. What makes the whole process as gratifying as it is, is sharing my nasty vision with you. Knowing that people around the world are reading something that I created from the raunchy images in my mind and are getting off on it thrills me to no end. When someone writes to me and tells me they masturbated to one of my stories, it gives me a tingle in my clit every time. It blows my mind to think about all the cocks and pussies out there getting played with because of me!

Now, just to make sure you don’t think I’m a complete egomaniac, I’m perfectly aware that all those beautiful cocks and pussies would probably get played with whether I was around or not. But with the myriad of porn options out there to jerk off to or finger to, I find it a unique privilege that somebody would pick one of my little stories out of the vast porn-o-verse to masturbate over. I truly am honored by every load of cum that’s blasted, and every cunt made to quiver, as a consequence of reading my work. Maybe that sounds weird, but I mean it.

Okay, so, what’s next? The exciting thing is that I have no fucking idea! I never thought about getting this far, and so I’m not going to think too much of where I’m going next. I’m always under a time pressure (as most of you know), and I don’t get to spend nearly as much time as I’d like playing this naughty game, but I have no plans on giving it up any time soon. I’ll continue blogging, Tweeting, and writing stories for as long as I can get away with it. I have no intention of revealing my secret to my husband and risk spoiling the fun. So, it looks like it’ll be the status quo for the time being and I’ll just wait to see what cums!

Thanks again to everyone who spends time with me in one way or another. I want to send out a special thank you to the writers (veterans and first timers alike) who have allowed me to post their stories and who have added a depth to my humble blog that I couldn’t have achieved alone. I also want to acknowledge the folks who take the time and effort to leave comments on posts and stories. I know the blog software I use doesn’t make it easy to be social, but your participation makes it feel like we’re more of a family (and we all know what it means when I start talking about family!). Although I’m not always able to respond in a timely fashion, I want to send a big shout out to everyone who e-mails me to share their own secrets, give me encouragement and feedback, or just say hi. And, finally, thanks to the lurkers out there hiding in the dark with only one hand on the keyboard. Just knowing you’re there makes a difference, and if you ever decide to step out into the light I’ll love you all the more for it!

Okay, sorry for the interruption to the steady flow of filth you normally cum here for. I’m going to try to do a suitably vulgar image caption for tomorrow to get us back on track.

Big hugz, my darling pervs!
-Rachael

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17 thoughts on “Fappy Anniversary

  1. Thanks Rachael for sharing your anniversary with us!! You are truly a gifted writer and we are the ones who get to Jill and jerk to your naughty fantasies. Keep up the great work, we love it!! Dan

  2. Rachael, I love your stories, the images, the horniness it brings, and, most of all, your great writing style that puts one right into the scene. I’m hooked on your blog! Keep it up (as I hope to).
    Art
    xo

  3. Rachael,
    Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I love how your characters truly love each other. It’s nice to find incest porn that doesn’t have to be “dark.” Your perverted material brings me so much happiness (or is it “hap-penis?”)! I’m glad that you’ve decided to share your deliciously filthy mind with us.
    Thank you so much!
    Michael

  4. No, thank you, Rachel. Not only are you a great writer but you are also a mother as well as someone’s daughter. Having that position and mindset gives you an edge on your stories and a realism to them. While you never done what you fantasize as well as what you write, it still comes from the mind of a mother. The only thing I am curious in is if you had a son and the time was right and he showed interest during this time in your life what would do in reality? Something to ponder on.

  5. You are awesome and a great writer. I check out your blog every day to see if anything is new. I wish I could clone you lol. I’d be the happiest man EVER. Keep up the good work. Also do you or anyone on here know of a chat room for our little fam fetish?

  6. Happy Anniversary Rachael!!! I am totally hooked on your blog and check daily..sometimes multiple times daily to see if there is anything new to entice my cock to get hard with your awesome perviness. In fact, I need to email you and tell you about My Girl Kate’s new adventures as of late and a few of my own. Your blog has me wanting to write again and wondered if I should start a blog of my own one day. Keep up all the awesome raunchiness!!! We Love You Rachael!!!
    J.R.

  7. P.S-I forgot to mention Hey Mike, let’s us know if you ever find a chatroom that has like minded pervs like us. I’d definitely join in.

  8. Hey there girl really love this blog of yours. I really enjoy it hehe. I still go back too the sister often. Thank you to for the many times your storys have drained me. You are doing a great blog here as far as I am concerned. Thank you John clean up aisle9 . XXOO

  9. Rachel, I am so glad I found your blog and know that I truly look forward to the few minutes a day that I get to peer into your erotic little world. Sharing a little bit about you, your background, and why you write the stories you do, really enhance the quality of your work. I’ve lost track of the number of times you’ve “assisted” in relieving some stress for me so thanks again, and keep up the great work!!!

  10. Damn Girl I almost missed this blog maybe I better get thicker glass’ who knows maybe old age is catching up with me they say first your hearing then your sight and then “ED” sets in now that’s scary (LOL) .NOW let me get to the meat of what I have to say as I’ve told you a few times I enjoy everything you write .If we didn’t have some kind of fantasy we would all be lost I’m just glad I have found someone that knows how to put it in writing hell I can’t write a letter let alone a story .Years ago I had a gentlemen tell me I should write a book about my life but like I said I can’t write a letter. And besides I don’t think some of the people I would write about would be to happy some day I may tell my story who knows. Anyway Darlin’ Keep up with what you’ve been doing you brighten our days. Larry have fun and be NAUGHTY…………………..

  11. Congrats on your one year anniversary. I love your blog and check it everyday. I remember the first time I found it. I looked over the whole blog and read all of your stories and have been hooked ever since. Thanks for sharing with us. You are an amazing writer.

  12. Thank you and happy anniversary Rachael. Am definitely looking forward to your second year.

  13. Thanks to YOU, dear heart. You have created a beautiful place here, and it’s been a genuine honor for me to plant an occasional story in this sexy garden. Looking forward to the next year of high-octane erotica!

  14. Hi Rachael,
    Like you, I’ve just celebrated my first year on Lush and also like you, it has brought me so much pleasure and sexual release. Knowing that I am not alone in my sexual fascination with close family members has also brought me so much comfort in realising I’m not weird for having these thoughts.
    I love your blog and visit it daily like most of your readers. When i click on the link on your twitter blog it is always with a sense of excitement and anticipation at what your latest offerring might be. You never disappoint, your mind is so in tune with mine it’s uncanny. In a slight twist on what you wrote, i sit there reading your stories, usually close to being naked to give me free access to all my bits. As I imagine you sat at your laptop naked and playing as you type one handed. Thank you so much and keep up the good work and espescially keep up the one handed typing, Mwaaaaah

  15. Thank you Rachael for your heartfelt reflection – it is your genuineness that keeps me cumming back for more and more :-)
    Pipa xoxox

  16. Happy Happy babby girl have not been here a year, but love you and your dirty mind. I will stay as long as you will have me. oxoxoxox

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