I’m All About That Butt

Mission accomplished! I am officially no longer an ass virgin at age 31 after 8 years of marriage. My dear husband graciously accepted my anal invitation and spent a good portion of our romantic Valentine’s evening with his cock buried in my butt. I’m a bit sore back there this morning as I write this report for you, but it’s a good kind of sore.

After packing the kids off for a night away, I made a nice salmon teriyaki for dinner (pink meat for Valentine’s Day). Afterward, we relaxed by the fireplace with a bottle of wine. We reminisced about when we first met in college, fell in love, and engaged in some form of desperate sexual activity every time we were together. The snow was falling outside, and I was almost too warm and cuddly to put the next phase of my plan into motion. I wasn’t going to let all my hard work over the past six weeks be for nothing, so I led him up to our bedroom and told him to get naked while I went to get ready.

I put on the new red, sheer teddy I had bought, not bothering with the matching panties. I then lubed up my new secret lover – my clear acrylic butt plug – and slipped it into my rear end. I have to admit that I was proud of how easily I was able to take it all the way in after so much that dedicated practice. My pussy was pretty well soaked already by that point. I checked myself in the mirror, made a few primps, took a deep breath, and returned to the bedroom using my slinkiest walk.

Hubby had followed his instructions and was waiting on the bed naked. His cock was soft and dangled enticingly between his open legs along with his plump, recently manscaped balls. He had lit a few real candles to complement our favorite electronic one. Perfect lighting to be able to see your partner’s body, but not too bright to turn it into a clinical exam. I gave him a couple of poses in my new lingerie while he groped himself and enjoyed the show. Then I told him I had a surprise.

I turned around, bent forward, and pulled up the bottom hem of my teddy showing him the butt end of my plug sticking out. “What is that?” he wondered aloud, confused but intrigued. “Why don’t you come and find out,” I challenged. He came to the edge of the bed for a closer inspection. “You got something in there?” He’d never known me to do anything like that before, so he wasn’t sure if he’d guessed right. “Give it a pull and find out.”

Very gently, he took a hold of my toy and (with more effort than he’d anticipated) drew the fat little bulb out of my ass. “Whoa!” he exclaimed, impressed and more than a little shocked. He never expected something like that from his sweet, innocent wife who never showed any signs of harboring the kind of nasty thoughts that would lead her to doing something so kinky. “Want me to put it back in?” he asked as he rubbed the tip of the plug over my slick anus.

“I want you to put something in there, but not that.” He looked at me with a half-smile, not daring to believe he’d heard me right. “You’ve been joking about it for as long as I’ve known you, now’s your chance if you really want it.” I reached back and spread one of my cheeks aside to give him a good view of what I was offering.

“Seriously? You want me to…” he couldn’t even bring himself to say it out loud, perhaps fearing he’d jinx it. “Fuck me in the ass?” I finished for him. “Yes.” I turned, sat on his lap and gave him a kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day, darling.”

I crawled onto the bed, got into position on my side, drew my knees up and once again presented my backside to him. “If you want your present, there’s lube in the drawer.” He quickly went for the brand new tube of Astroglide I’d put in the nightstand drawer earlier. I had him give it to me so I could do the honors. His cock was as hard as a horny teenager’s as I smeared it with liberal coating of sex grease. “I just want to make sure I tell you now how much I love you,” he said in that joking tone of his, “in case I pass out and can’t tell you later.”

I handed him the tube and asked him to lube me up. He was more than happy to oblige, and the two of us took turns fingering my asshole in the process. My stomach was going crazy with butterflies, and it really was like losing my virginity all over again. “Nice and slow,” I cautioned him and he nodded as he got into position.

Lying on my side, I held my cheek up so he had clear access to the target. He rubbed his cockhead against my asshole and I was suddenly scared that I maybe made a mistake and bit off more than I could handle. His cock didn’t feel like the tapered tip of the butt plug, but like a fat, blunt implement of punishment about to violate my too small hole. I silently assured myself I was ready for it, tried to breathe steadily, and consciously unclenched.

He began to push. I felt the pressure, but he wasn’t getting in. “A little harder,” I told him. “You sure?” He sounded almost as nervous as I felt. “I want you in my ass so bad,” was my answer. This convinced him. He pushed again, and, with the help of the lube and me doing as much as I could to relax back there, the head of his cock popped in. We looked at each other, both a little stunned, and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your cock is in my asshole!” I announced happily. “Your asshole is on my cock,” he countered to complete our parody of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ad. “You ready for this?” he triple checked before going any further. “Fuck me,” was all I needed to say.

Over the next minute or so, he eased his big cock into my asshole little by little. I will say that it felt incredibly weird, but not entirely in a bad way. The sensation only remotely resembled what it was like using my butt plug. My asshole felt like it was being stretched more than I had prepared myself for, but it wasn’t too much for me to handle. When he got about halfway in, he pulled back and slowly slid forward again. That one short stroke gave me my first clue of what it might feel like to really get fucked in the ass. I was getting impatient, but I remembered all the advice I’d gotten from my more experienced online friends (yes, you) and took it slow.

My husband’s cock was almost all the way in my ass when I felt a mild stabbing pain and knew that was my limit. He backed off a little, leaned down and kissed me while stirring his hard-on around in my rectum (God, I hate using that word, but I refuse to use bowels! Yuck). That’s about when I got all mushy. I’d never felt as close, or as trusting, with him as I did in that moment. It’s silly, I know, it’s only butt sex, for goodness sake, but there was suddenly this new connection with my husband that we’d never had before. After all the years we’d been together, we were sharing something new and a little bit scary (at least for me). His tenderness, patience, and appreciation came across in every motion of his body and touch of his lips. I expected it might be fun, but I hadn’t anticipated that getting ass fucked could be so romantic!

“Fuck me,” I whispered and wiggled my butt. He was as eager as I was and didn’t hesitate to give me what I wanted. He pulled back and slid forward very deliberately. When he was sure I could handle it, he repeated this and didn’t stop. He fucked me with short, easy strokes – not pushing too deep or pulling back too far. He found a satisfying range that was comfortable for both of us. Of course, when I say comfortable this is a relative term. It felt a little like I had a baseball up my ass, but that isn’t entirely a bad thing if you can adopt the right mind set.

“Oh God, honey, you’re fucking my ass,” I moaned. I’m generally not much of a talker in the sack, but I’ve learned a trick or two from the characters in my stories. “It’s so tight,” he said. “You feel amazing.” His hand gripped me hard, his fingers digging into my hip. “I can’t believe your big cock is in my asshole. I love it.” And I honestly did love it.

He picked up the pace some after that and lengthened his stroke a bit. It wasn’t a hardcore porn-style ass pounding by any means, but I felt like a wonderfully dirty slut nonetheless. I was doing it! I had set a goal and I was taking it in the ass for the first time. It was different that I’d expected (and feared), but I really was liking it. I didn’t get the sense that it was something that I could orgasm from, but that didn’t even matter all that much. It was the idea of what I was doing almost more than the sensation of it that held the excitement for me. The ass was something I’d been conditioned to protect and deny access to, but I’d managed to shed that inhibition and open myself up (literally) to a new experience. And I knew that my husband was enjoying this nasty liaison in much the same, which only multiplied my pleasure.

“Cum in my ass,” I begged when I knew he was getting close. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned. “Say that again.” My dirty talk was apparently a big hit. “Cum in my ass,” I repeated. “Fuck my asshole and fill me up.” That did the trick. A few thrusts later he was crying out and emptying his balls into my ass for the first time ever. I could see how hard it was for him not to ram his cock home, but he was kind enough to restrain himself (thank God!).

He stayed in my butt for a while after he came, running his hands all over my body and slowly gyrating his hips. Eventually he pulled out, which was almost the best part for me. I went to the bathroom to fetch a towel and soaked it with warm water. Cum started leaking out of my butt as I headed back to the bed. I cleaned his cock, which hadn’t lost much of its strength, and then swabbed my backside. “Your turn,” he said as he pushed me back and climbed on top.

Once in my pussy, he fucked me with all the passion and vigor he couldn’t apply to my delicate ass. I came in a matter of seconds. Luckily, he knew me well enough to know this was just the tip of the iceberg, and he banged me hard until he got two more orgasms out of me, each bigger than the one before. We spent some time recovering after that, fondling and caressing each other. After about half an hour he very politely asked if he could try my ass again.

Being the accommodating wife that I am, I gave him the green light. He quickly lubed us up again. This time he wanted me on my back. I didn’t know if I was ready for that position, but I figured I’d give it a try and revert to side saddle if I had to. I lifted my legs, angled my hips upward, and once again presented my asshole to him. He ducked down, kissed my pussy, sucked my clit for a few seconds, then prepared to enter my back door for the second time.

I was able to relax quicker, and he was less shy about forcing his way in. There was a slight twinge, but nothing I couldn’t handle. A minute later my husband was fucking my asshole like we were old pros at it. I quickly noticed that the position I was in gave me easy access to my cunt, and I naturally began masturbating while hubby lovingly reamed me. He held my ankles aloft as he enjoyed the view of my fingers in my pussy and his cock in my asshole. We were able to go like this for several minutes before I made myself cum. As I orgasmed, I could feel my ass tighten around his shaft. This must have done him in, because seconds later he was dumping another load deep inside me. He kept his cock in me and slipped two fingers in my cunt, encouraging me to strum my clit to yet one more Valentine’s Day orgasm.

I cleaned us up again, we blew out the candles and snuggled in under the covers. I rarely risk sleeping naked, but with the kids away it was a luxury I could enjoy. It didn’t take long before my horny hubby was groping my butt. I’d created a monster. His finger found its way into my asshole during our pillow talk in the dark. I hadn’t gotten him that horny in since before the girls were born. It was a good feeling. When he discovered the butt plug was still in the bed with us, he surprised me by going down on me while he plied my asshole with the new toy. I thought the fun was over for the night! After he made me cum again, he ended up jerking himself off with two fingers buried in my bunghole until he splattered the remaining dregs of his sperm on my thigh in the dark.

So, if that isn’t mission accomplished, I don’t know what is! Yes, I’m walking a little funny this morning, but I’m as giddy as a newlywed. If he wants to fuck my asshole again tonight I’ll have to let him, but I’m not going to bring it up (I wouldn’t mind a little time to recuperated). Either way, I suspect he’s going to want butt sex again soon and often over the next few months. I think eventually we might settle into a once a month rotation when it comes to ass fucking after the novelty wears off. We shall see. I definitely want to do it more, try different positions and see if I can get to where I can orgasm just from anal sex alone. I’m glad I finally got the courage to do try it. I can’t regret not doing it earlier, however, because I think the waiting might have made it that much better.

Now I have to run to the store and brave the funny looks as I pick up a whole case of Astroglide!

P.S. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me and provided advice for this little adventure of mine. I might not have gone through with it if I didn’t have you guys counting on me to follow through with my kinky scheme. I know I’m probably making more of this than is warranted, and that anal sex is par for the course for many couples, but it still felt like a big step for me personally and a significant development in my relationship with my husband. Who knows what might cum next…?

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Housework Pick

I thought I’d share this picture to give those of you who are curious what my typical day as a stay-at-home mom and housewife looks like. It’s mostly just a lot of boring chores like vacuuming, dishes, and, of course, laundry. It can be dirty, sweaty work, so it’s usually just easier to do it all naked. I always struggle with reaching top shelves, or dusting those high up places, so it only makes sense to wear a pair of sexy high heels to help me through my trying day. The only drawback is that I often forget to close the drapes when I’m working like this. I’m sure the neighbors must get awfully upset with me. Although, I never hear any complaints about the days that I forget to put something on when I run out to check the mailbox.

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Sex, Juggs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll

Courtney Love isn’t on my list, but I love Hole and I think she’s one ballsy chick.
(click the pic to see this awesome performance)

Since the Grammys were on last night (I stopped watching after AC/DC was done), I thought I would write about music. I hate to admit that I’m not a big music person. I tend to like the trendy pop stuff, and my tastes are not all that sophisticated. Plus, I have zero musical talent of my own. I can’t sing, and I tried concert band for about a month in middle school and quit because I was in way over my head. I’ve only been to maybe two concerts in my whole life, but I love to dance my tits off in the club when the music is right!

Anyway, all that aside, there are a handful of songs that always make my pussy happy when I hear them. Some of them are obvious, but others maybe not so much. Here’s my horny playlist:

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She Bop (Cyndi Lauper)
We might as well start with an obvious one. It wasn’t until about the third or fourth time I heard it that I paid enough attention to the lyrics to realize it was about female masturbation. When the penny finally dropped, I went back and listened very intently to every word and loved it! Every time I hear it I can’t help but picture Cyndi fingering herself.

My pussy’s favorite line:
Hey, hey they say I better get a chaperon / Because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone.
So many things in this little line get me hot. I love the idea of my cunt being a “danger zone.” The word “messin’” is the perfect choice here. And hearing a woman say she “can’t stop” playing with herself really resonates with me – it especially did with the teenage me back when I felt guilty for messin’ with my own danger zone so much and occasionally tried to stop. Thankfully I failed every time.

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Laid (James)
This song always seemed subversively kinky to me. Again, it took me a minute to catch on to the sexual content of the lyrics (yes, I’m slow that way), but once I had it quickly became one of my favorites. I was always intrigued as a girl by what exactly was meant by messing around with gender roles. There had to be more to it than dressing up in women’s clothes and lining his eyes!

My pussy’s favorite line:
But she only comes when she’s on top
I was shocked that a line like this was in a song that could be played on the radio. I wondered if I was hearing it wrong, but then decided he was singing about just what I thought he was. I can’t think of another “mainstream” song where they explicitly talk about someone cumming and not use some sort of euphemism. Makes my pussy clench every time I hear it.

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I Touch Myself (The Divinyls)
You probably could have guessed this would be on my list. Yes, I know it’s corny and over the top, but I can’t resist a catchy song about masturbation. While I like the fact that She Bop is slightly more indirect and requires a tiny bit of deciphering, I like this song for the fact that it isn’t being coy about the subject – it comes right out and lets you know it’s about a woman finger fucking herself while thinking of a guy.

My pussy’s favorite line:
When I think about you, I touch myself
I know, not very subtle of me, but I love hearing her sing that in the sultry way she does (especially when she adds in the moaning noises later in the song). I also like the line “When I feel down, I want you above me,” but it doesn’t make my clitty hard like the chorus does.

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There are too many hot pics of this slut to choose from, but I like how she’s grabbing her cunt here.

S&M (Rihanna)
To start with, this is one sexy chick! I’m not into BDSM at all, but this song turns me on every time I hear it. It’s not so much the whips and chains that get me going, but hearing a woman express how much she enjoys fetishized sex. Lots of women sing about romantic lovemaking, but I like that this song is about embracing your kink for the express purpose of getting off. I’m also quite sure that Rihanna is a hardcore fuck freak in real life.

My pussy’s favorite line:
Sex in the air / I don’t care / I love the smell of it
This line instantly puts me in the “boudoir” with her and I can smell the sex too! I get such a visceral thrill out of hearing her referring to the “smell of it.” Your mind can’t help but fill up with thoughts of sweaty naked bodies, dripping wet pussies and cocks pumping cum out all over the place. My nips also get a tingle out of when she says “I like it / Like it.”

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Brand New Key (Melanie Safka)
Okay, this might be an odd one, but this song always makes me feel dirty when I listen to it (and I like feeling dirty). The happy tune and the innocent sounding voice contrasted with the subtext of the lyrics is a perfect combination. It makes me think of those innocent days of sexual awakening when your body begins changing and your desires develop into something more physical than they ever had been before. I distinctly remember having a romantic affinity for boys from a very young age (me and Prince Charming will live happily ever after), but at some point that became eclipsed by a carnal yearning (I need Prince Charming’s cock inside me right now!). This is the feeling I get whenever I hear this sweet little song.

My pussy’s favorite line:
I’m okay alone but you’ve got something I need
Sorry for being so redundant, but the allusion to masturbation in this line once again sets my juices to churning. But it also appeals to me because of the idea that she “needs” his cock. My pussy also enjoys the “I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates / You got a brand new key” metaphor quite a bit. She’s just gone through puberty and has this newfound toy between her legs that she’s been playing with. She knows he has a brand new toy of his own and wants to put them together to see what happens. So dirty.

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Animals (Nickelback)
This is just a hard drive sex song that gets me fired up to fuck every time I hear it. I like that there’s a story of sorts and that it’s about a horny teenage couple sneaking out to go wild on each other. I also love all the references to oral sex laced through the song. This one makes me want to go back to my high school years and do it all over again better.

My pussy’s favorite line:
Your mom don’t know that you were missing / She’d be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I’ve been kissing
Yeah, I know what parts those are! A big part of the turn on of this line for me is the mom stuff. The idea of mom seeing the parts of her daughter that he’s been kissing is rather interesting. Maybe she’d only be pissed because she needed some of her own parts kissed like that.
(And check out this bad ass little babette: 16 Year Old Girl Drummer

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You can’t tell me this bitch isn’t fucking hot!

Do You Want to Touch Me (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)
I’m going to wrap this up with one more kick ass rock song. Here we have another aggressive woman letting the world know she wants her some sex – now! I was always attracted to the boldness of this girl coming right out and asking to be touched there (something I’ve always had a very hard time doing myself). The sexy swagger of this song never fails to make me want to grab the next guy I see, take his hand, and put it right between my legs.

My pussy’s favorite line:
Beggin’ on my knees baby, won’t you please? / Run your fingers through my hair
This line didn’t always do it for me the way it does now. What changed? I finally figured out that the hair she was talking about was her pussy hair! Oh fuck! I have to resist sticking my hand down my pants whenever I hear this line – and, if I’m alone in the car when this song comes on the radio, I often don’t bother resisting.

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Okay, so that’s a pretty good round up of my guilty pleasures when it comes to sex and music. What are the songs or lyrics that get your genitals jingling whenever you hear them?

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Daddy’s Home

Welcome home, Daddy. Don’t worry, Mom’s out for the rest of the night. As you might have already guessed, I decided to make your fantasy come true. How do I know that coming home from a long day at the office and being greeted by your daughter in nothing but a pair of sexy high heels is your fantasy? You know Alexis, that little slut you’ve been role-playing with online for the past month? The one you’ve been telling all your nasty secrets to. Well, that’s been me the whole time. I’m sorry for tricking you like that, Daddy, but hearing about all the dirty things you wanted to do with your daughter…with me…made me so horny that I’ve been masturbating every night thinking about your cock. I couldn’t wait any longer. My pussy is all yours if you want it, Daddy. It’s right here for the taking…

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