Not So Silent Night

I’ve gotten a few questions over the past couple weeks about what kinds of sex noises I make in the sack. I’d never really thought much about this before, so I decided to pay attention and get a better idea of what I sound like while fucking. Once again, at the risk of disappointing everyone, I’m pretty boring in this area. I guess I’d label myself a mild moaner. Before the kids came along I was probably more on the enthusiastic moaner end of the spectrum, but now I worry too much about waking them up. I noticed that I make small sounds when hubby is doing something I like and want more of, but I don’t really hit my moaning stride until I’m on the verge of orgasm. I also have a tendency to laugh after I’ve had a good cum with my husband (but I don’t do this when I’m alone and make myself cum). Weird. I’ve never been a screamer, even in situations where I could let loose and make all the noise I wanted.

I don’t say a lot during sex, though I will mutter the occasional few words. Usually innocuous little things like “that feels good,” or “yeah, right there.” I’ll sometimes make requests for him to suck my tits, or put another finger in me. Sexy, maybe, but nothing especially dirty. The odd thing about me is that I will sometimes talk dirty while I’m masturbating. On those occasions where I have the house all to myself, I’ll talk out loud and say all sorts of filthy things. This really takes my orgasms to another level.

Most often, I’m talking to the person I’m fantasizing about. My two most common scenarios are that someone is watching me masturbate, or that I’m watching someone else having sex and telling them what to do. My two favorite words to say out loud when I’m playing like this are cunt and masturbate. I also like saying fuck, cock, and asshole. So, for example, I might be fantasizing that my father has walked in and caught me diddling myself and say something like: “You like this, Daddy? You like watching your daughter masturbate her cunt? Watch me fuck myself, Daddy! Masturbate your big hard cock for me while you watch, Daddy! Masturbate with me! Look at my cunt, Daddy! I’m masturbating my dirty cunt for you!” I can also get very repetitive sometimes, saying things like “Look at my cunt, look at my cunt, look at my cunt” over and over again. I’ll also frequently do this with the line, “I love masturbating my cunt!”

Yeah, embarrassing, I know. For some reason I didn’t start talking dirty to myself until after I was married, and it was only an every once in a while thing. Now that both my girls are in school in the morning, I’ve been doing it a bit more often over the past few months. It’s very liberating, and I have actually let loose with a scream or two while climaxing. I don’t know why saying these things out loud makes my orgasms more intense than when I’m just thinking them, but I’m glad it does. I’d probably curl up and die if anyone ever overheard me doing this, but I don’t think I’ll be stopping any time soon.

Do you have any unique aural or audio kinks? What word do you most like to say or hear when having sex? Ever been with someone that made so much noise that it was annoying? The dolphin sounds girls make in Japanese porn always makes me laugh, is that a turn on for anyone?

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Sweet Creams

I’ve got so many dirty ideas churning around in my head and not nearly enough time to write them all! Just to give you an idea, last night I kept dreaming about a teenaged brother and sister having sex. The brother accidentally creams inside his sister and they’re both worried about her getting pregnant. The sister holds her pussy open and tries to force out all the cum her brother put inside her (this image kept recurring for most of the night). They both watch as the stream of white goo flows out of her and runs down over her pretty little asshole. When no more comes out, she’s still worried that there’s more in there that will give her a baby. She insists that her brother sucks the rest of it out of her (like you would with poison from a snake bite, she explains). Even though he doesn’t want to, the brother sucks her pussy hard and gets the rest of his cum out of his sister’s tight fuck hole, spitting it on her belly and thighs each time he sucks some out.

Probably won’t be able to do much with that as far as a story goes, but it’s in my head anyway. Scenes like that pop into my filthy mind every day! And you wonder why I’m crazy…

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Sun Bating

I guess my sister thought no one else was at home. When I walked out on the patio on my way to take a swim and saw her there, I stopped dead in my tracks. Holy fuck! I’d only ever thought of her as my bratty kid sister, but I was suddenly seeing her in a whole new way. I couldn’t stop staring at her perfect, shaved pussy. When she looked up and noticed me I expected her to scream, cover up and start calling me every name in the book. Instead she just smiled and left her legs spread wide open. “How long have you been standing there?” I didn’t know what to say, especially when it was obvious that she already spotted my boner tenting my swim shorts. “As long as you’re here, can you put some baby oil on me?” I still couldn’t talk, but I was definitely able to move. I grabbed the bottle of oil and sat on the edge of her lounge chair. “Make sure you get it all on my tits and pussy.” She purred like a horny kitten as I rubbed the oil on her tiny titties, then slid my hand down to spread more on her bald puss. “Just to be safe, you better rub some of it inside my pussy, too.” As I pushed two well-lubed fingers into my little sister’s tight cunt hole, I began to suspect that she knew all along that she wasn’t home alone.

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Cherry Blossoms

I just posted My Vacation with Cherry, which is a juicy Sapphic tale of endearing love and raunchy lust between a mother and daughter written by our resident Pervert Laureate JetBoy.  As I’ve mentioned before, my mother played a relatively hands-off role in my fantasies as a teen.  She would sometimes be watching as my father guided me into womanhood, or she was directing my brother (with her or with me) in an effort to guide him into manhood.  That being said, if my mom was more like Cherry’s mother and took the initiative with me, I’m sure I would have willingly gone along with whatever she wanted.  It would have been so hot if she taught me how to masturbate by example – letting me watch her do it and then trying it myself.  I could envision myself asking: “What does it feel like when a boy licks you down there?”  And her responding: “Spread your legs, dear, and let me show you.”  Ho boy, I think I’m going to have to use that scene tonight with myself after my husband goes to sleep!

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In an unrelated story, I’ve created a Dropbox account and uploaded all my stories to it in PDF format.  I mainly did it for a reader who has found himself in a country that blocks access to porn sites, including my blog.  I hate to let repressive assholes win, so I wanted to provide a way around their medieval attempts to deny adults the right to choose what they want to view, read, or jack off to.  I also thought it would be useful for folks who want an easy way to download my stories without having to copy and paste them (in case there’s anyone out there doing that sort of thing).  If you’re interested you can go to this easy to remember address:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/56hb3nek5yk0p77/AACc9GXCWQaTYXq887LHDFPoa?dl=0

I also put a link to my Dropbox on the Links page (tricky, I know). You might get a pop-up box asking you to sign up for your own Dropbox account, but you can just close that window and get to the stories without having to make an account.

By the way, this little exercise almost got me busted in the worst way!  It was Saturday night, my husband had a few buddies over and they were hanging out around the table in our dining room.  After I got the girls in bed, I was upstairs in my room working on converting and uploading my stories.  The way I was making the files was to print the stories from Word in PDF format.  Well, when I was doing this with Cam Slut Mom 1, I forgot to change the printer from the default to PDF.  As soon as I hit print, I realized what I had done and just about had a heart attack.  You see, our wireless printer (which is the default) is located on a desk in the DINING ROOM!

I suddenly pictured the printer kicking on and churning out the first page of the story (complete with an image of a hairy cunt being spread open), and one of my husband’s friends reaching over and plucking the page off the printer just to be helpful, then seeing what it was.  “Gee, Dave, why is your wife printing out pornographic incest stories by someone named Dirty Minded Mom?”  I was down the stairs in a flash, my heart beating a mile a minute, and my head desperately trying to come up with an excuse.  Luckily I arrived just as the first page was coming out and was able to intercept it before anyone was the wiser.  I turned off the printer, made a few casual remarks  to the boys, and managed to escape with the incriminating evidence before my life suffered a humiliating turn in a very scary direction.  It only took a day or so for my pulse to return to normal!

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