Spectator Sports

I love watching my husband jerk off. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, as well as my general fascination with male masturbation, but I’ve gotten a few questions about this recently so I thought this was a good time to restate my position on guys waxing the dolphin, spanking the monkey, and/or punching the clown.

I don’t want to get too deep into my overall masturbation fetish, but I was raised with the idea that pleasuring oneself was deviant behavior and so it had to be practiced in private and was never to be a topic of conversation with anyone. This is a big part of why I enjoy seeing other people do it – I’m, seeing something that I shouldn’t be; a deeply private act that the person I’m seeing performing it should be ashamed and embarrassed by. That’s the twisted psychological framing that makes it so erotic for me.

I very much enjoy watching videos of women masturbating, but being a female myself means that I’m intimately familiar with how it all works (though it is fun to see the spin other ladies put on the process of getting themselves off). Watching a guy wank his cock was a subject of much speculation and fantasy for me throughout my teens. I eventually gleaned the mechanics of it all, but actually witnessing it eluded me until I was in college and had a boyfriend uninhibited enough to beat his meat for my viewing pleasure. I’ve been hooked ever since.

My husband and I frequently masturbate together, either as foreplay or as a mutual midweek treat before we go to sleep. Sometimes I’ll ask him to whack off for me so I can watch. I’m enthralled by seeing the way he handles himself like such an expert. I’d like to think I can deliver a decent handjob, but when I see my husband stroke himself I realize that I’m still in the minor leagues compared to him.

I like when he whips up a batch of baby batter while on his knees. It’s especially amazing when his balls are hanging loose and flying all over the place while he goes at it. I watch them bouncing off his pumping fist really hard and wonder how that’s possible when I can merely graze his nuts in the wrong way and he’s curled up in pain. Testicles are strange little creatures – and oh so lickable.

My favorite part, of course, is the grand finale: the cumshot! It doesn’t get much sexier in my book that seeing a thick load of semen shooting out of a man’s cock. I know you guys see it every day (sometimes a few times a day), but it still thrills me today as it did the first time I saw it happen. It’s like a sexy magic trick! Not only that, but you get to eat the rabbit that gets pulled out of the hat (hmm, that doesn’t sound as appealing as it should). I often struggle with the dilemma of having my husband jerk off into my mouth or onto himself. If he nuts in my mouth, I don’t get to see him squirt (unless we go for an uncertain attempt from 3-point territory). If he spooges all over his belly and chest, I get to see all the sexiness exploding everywhere, but then I have a lot of work to do to collect it all with my tongue.

No matter which way it goes I’m happy because I know I’ll have plenty of chances to have my loving hubby jack off for me in whatever way I’m horny for on any given day.

How about all of you? What’s your masturbation relation with your partner?

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Now for something completely different…

A reader recently forwarded this article to me and it looks like my story “Stroke Break” might be more prescient that any of us dared hope!

Should You Masturbate at Work?


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Learning Curves

As I slipped a second finger into my sister’s asshole, I could hardly believe we were doing this, much less that she seemed to be enjoying it as much as I was. It started with Jess acting weird. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me her boyfriend wanted to have anal sex, but that she was too afraid. I told her that I’d tried it before and how it could be good if you know how to do it right. This got her even more freaked out and she begged me to tell her what exactly that meant. I explained the mistakes I’d made and what I’d do differently if I had it to do over. She had a million questions and only got more stressed when I couldn’t give her the exact details in a way she could understand. Finally, out of frustration, I blurted, “Do you just want me to show you?” I didn’t really mean it, but when she said yes, it turned me on in a way I hadn’t expected.

Me and Jess shared a room ever since we were little. We were naked in front of each other all the time and it was no big deal. When I started sprouting hair down there and my boobs began to come in, Jess was very curious and I’d let her inspect the changes my body was going through. Only a year later, I was inspecting her development, and we often compared ourselves without any reservation. Not long after that, my little sister heard me masturbating in the dark when I thought she was asleep. She asked me what I was doing and I showed her the wonderful new trick that I’d discovered. After that it wasn’t unusual for us to masturbate around each other, and we often did it together either side-by-side or face-to-face. Sometimes we would cuddle together in bed at night when it was cold or during a scary storm. Usually we just hugged and snuggled, but sometimes I would tickle her nipples or she would rub my butt. That was about as sexual as we ever got together.

Before I had a chance to tell my sister I wasn’t serious about my offer, Jess had her pants and panties off before I knew it and was lying on my bed with her butt in the air. It seemed weird, but also perfectly natural. I spread her butt cheeks and spit on her perfect little virgin asshole. She squealed in fear as I gently worked a finger into her. She was so tight! I couldn’t imagine a cock fitting in there. I slowly worked my sister’s hole while she moaned. I was surprised when she asked for me to stick another finger in there. I could tell this hurt her a little, but she made me keep going. My surprise turned to shock when she began masturbating while if fingered her ass. Watching each other was one thing, but this was something else.

It felt so cool when Jess made herself cum and I could feel her ring of muscles tighten and spasm around my fingers. She said it was one of the best orgasms she’d ever had. She was all giddy and silly after that and said she wanted to do it to me. I said no way, but she wrestled me down onto the bed and after a couple minutes of screaming, struggling, and hair pulling she managed to rip my panties down and get a finger shoved into my asshole. I gave in at that point and let myself enjoy the sensation of my little sister butt fucking me. I wasn’t able to resist playing with my pussy like she had, and soon I was having my own mind-blowing orgasm.

After lying around like a couple of limp noodles and talking more about the ins and outs of anal sex, we got in the shower together. Once we were all lathered up, it was inevitable that we’d end up in a naked hug, each of us reaching around behind the other and inserting a soapy finger so we could enjoy the new trick we’d discovered together. We rubbed our slippery tits and sudsy mounds together as we violated one another’s backside holes. I had three more orgasms during that shower, and my sister had at least that many. I was pretty sure we’d be cuddling together in the same bed later that night, but not because it was cold or there being a scary storm. I couldn’t wait to find out what we discovered next!

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Outta Line

<< Slippery Tip #1 | << Slippery Tip #3

Slippery Tip #4: Create an outline

To do an outline or not is a point of contention among amateur writers. To me, this is a silly argument because everyone who writes a story does an outline – even if they don’t realize it. My view is that if you don’t think about your story and create some kind of “formal” outline and just start writing your story, this simply makes your first rough draft your outline – a very, very detailed outline.

Creating an outline for a porn story is super easy (at least it is if you do it like I do). It starts when you have that moment of insight – an idea for a dirty story that you just have to write. Don’t run straight to the computer – let the story live in your head for a little while. Play some of the scenes out in your mind like you’re watching a movie. Edit the scenes until they flow. Get to know your characters by watching them interact in your imagination. Jot down any traits, plot twists, or lines of dialogue that get you excited.

When you reach the point where you have to get the story out of your head and down on “paper,” gather any notes you’ve made and do your outline. At the very least, all you need to do is write one simple sentence for each scene in your story. This will allow you to create a basic structure for your story that will keep you on track and insure that you know where you going before you begin your journey. Having an idea for how your story is going to end is as important (if not more so) than knowing where it starts.

My idea is to write a story about a single mother who confesses to her son that she’s a sex addict. Here’s my quickie outline:

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Sex Addicted Mom (working title)

  • Mom talks to Son, tells him she’s a sex addict and her therapist told her to open up about it.
  • Son thinks about what Mom told him, gets horny and jerks off to fantasy of her.
  • Son offers support; Mom asks him to get rid of all her sex toys for her.
  • Son secretly keeps toys; plays with them while he jerks off to more graphic mom fantasies.
  • Mom tells Son she hasn’t had an orgasm in two days and she’s going crazy; Son gets turned on.
  • Son plays with toys more; accepts that he’s sexually attracted to Mom and plans to seduce her.
  • Son offers foot massage; Mom talks about her sex problems; Son makes move and they do oral.
  • Mom and Son go to bedroom and fuck every which way.
  • Twist – Son finds out Mom never went to a therapist; she was seducing him the whole time.

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There, that doesn’t look too hard, now does it? These are just the bare bones, and provide enough of a framework to get you going. You can jump into the writing process with a good idea of where the story is going and how you’re going to get there. Like I said, this is the minimum. If you wanted to add a little more detail about some of the “beats” in the scene, along with some more information about character emotions, motivations, or actions, you can do a little more. This is what my expanded outline for this story might look like:

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Mom’s Addiction

SET UP

  • Scene 1: Distressed Mom sits Son down for awkward conversation – her therapist suggested she be open with those closest to her and tell them that she’s suffering from a serious problem: sex addiction. She admits that she’s a chronic masturbator and watches porn almost every night. Son is shocked, embarrassed, and a bit angry, though he really doesn’t know why.
  • Scene 2: Later that night, Son fumes in his bedroom over his mother’s admission. Begins thinking about his mother’s sexuality, admits to himself that he’s been suppressing his own shameful physical attraction to her since puberty. He ends up fantasizing about her masturbating to porn and jerks himself off.

DEVELOPMENT

  • Scene 3: Next day, Son apologizes to Mom for not being supportive. He asks if there is anything he can do to help. She talks more about her sex addiction, then reluctantly asks him to throw away some things for her since she can’t do it herself. He agrees and she turns over a big collection of sex toys.
  • Scene 4: That night, Son goes through the box of toys touching, tasting, and trying them out as he beats off to thoughts of these objects being in his mother’s pussy. Feels guilty and disgusted with himself.
  • Scene 5: Mom is upset, Son encourages her to talk. She hasn’t had an orgasm in two days and it’s driving her crazy, she’s dying for sex and willing to do anything or anyone. He tries to give her advice, but the bulge in his pants makes it difficult.
  • Scene 6: Son gives in to his urges and plays with mom’s toys again. Accepts that he is sexually attracted to his mother, and decides to take advantage of her sex addiction to seduce her.

CLIMAX

  • Scene 6: Mom is really stressed, Son offers foot massage to relax her. Mom talks about how hard it is not to masturbate and how she misses her toys. Conversation and massage become more intimate until Son makes his move and they give each other oral.
  • Scene 7: In Mom’s bedroom, they strip down and go at it in every position for the rest of the day and most of the night. Mom tells Son that she’d be able to give up masturbation and porn if he fucked her like that a few times a week. Son happily agrees.
  • Scene 8: Twist – Son somehow discovers that his mom never went to a therapist, she made the whole thing up. It turns out he wasn’t the one who seduced her, but the other way around!

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Again, not all that much work, but I have a very good idea of what’s going to happen in each scene, what the purpose of the scene is (both on its own and as part of the big picture), and a sense of how these characters transition from mother and son to lovers. If something doesn’t work, I’ll most likely be able to spot it at this stage where it will be much easier to fix than after I’ve written 3,000 words and realize there’s a problem and have to start over.

A big complaint by anti-outliners is that if they plan things out they lose the creative spontaneity of discovering the story as they write it. This is crapola! There’s a great deal of creativity that goes into making a good outline, which is just as exciting as writing. Also, there’s no rule that says you have to adhere strictly to the outline. If you’re in the middle of a scene and a great idea pops into your head, you’re free to pursue it. Filling in the details of an outlined scene is where real the action is, and there’s nothing in an outline that impinges on the thrill of creating a story.

There’s a lot more to say on this topic, but this is enough for our purposes. Think about your story, make an outline, write your story. These steps are critical to completing the creative phase of conjuring your erotic tale while minimizing frustration and maximizing fun.

If you still don’t want to make an outline, try doing one while naked and imagining me leaning over your shoulder helping you along as I rub my stiff nipples against your bare shoulder. If that doesn’t work, then you’re a lost cause!

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Slippery Tip #5 >>

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Snooper Trooper

I was hiding my double dildo in the back of my sweater drawer yesterday after a rousing session and was reminded of a post from a little while back about making sure it wasn’t too difficult for either of my girls to find my sex toys when they’re older if they ever sneak into my room to snoop around the way I used to when I was a curious teen. I wondered what they’d think if they found Mommy’s strange rubber thing with two cockheads at either end. As I closed the drawer I told myself not to bother thinking about it because it would be many years before they began exploring my private places for sex stuff. Then a thought hit me like a thunderbolt! How did I not consider this before!?

In another year or so, my nephew Adam will be old enough to babysit my girls. The possibilities suddenly blew my mind. I wouldn’t have to wait seven or eight years for my nosy darlings to go poking through my things looking for naughty stuff. A year and half should give Adam time to become responsible enough to keep an eye on his cousins for a few hours while Aunty Rach and Uncle Dave go out for dinner and a movie – being sure not to come home until after the girls have gone to bed. A promised call to let my sweet nephew know we were leaving the theater should make him secure enough to venture into forbidden areas of our home without having to worry about being caught in the act. My heart still races whenever I think about this.

I’ve come up with a few other illicit plans over the years, but this is the first one I can easily implement and not have to worry about getting myself into trouble. My latest scheme was to give Adam a hand-me-down tablet that had some racy pictures of me in the trash bin. Of course Aunt Rachael is so clueless about technology that she didn’t know that she had to empty the trash to really delete those naughty images. But, if his parents ever found out, they’d know I wasn’t that un-tech savvy. But, with this new plan, it’s not my fault he went snooping in my bedroom!

I never expected my nephew to violate my privacy like that, your honor. I’m an innocent victim here! How was I to know he would go into my hamper and sniff my dirty panties while he jacked his cock? I never would have guessed he’d rummage through my lingerie drawer and suck the dildo I’d used the night before and hadn’t washed yet. I can’t be held responsible for him going through the pictures on my camera and finding selfies of me that I took while topless (and perhaps bottomless). And I assumed it was my husband’s dried jizz that I found on my toothbrush the next morning. The defense rests!

Maybe I could write some raunchy love letters for him to find. Or better yet, perhaps he could find my hidden x-rated diary where I reminisce about my sexual experiences and record the dirty fantasies I’m too embarrassed to share with my husband. I’d love to plant something that he could easily steal and take home with him to jerk off to, but I wouldn’t want him to get caught. Although, now that I think about it, he would likely use his phone to take pics of anything really good that he found. On the other hand, If was caught by his parents, this could actually lead to an interesting situation.

If my brother found naked pictures of me on his son’s phone, would he sweep it under the rug or come and talk to me about it? It would be hard to hide my excitement during such a conversation just knowing my brother had seen me naked, saw pictures of my fuck toys, or read about my depraved fantasies. Or, maybe my brother would keep them for his own private pleasure. Geez, my head is spinning with all the potential implications! This next year and a half is going to be torture for me!

In the meantime, I suppose I need to start shopping for a good HD nanny cam for my bedroom…

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Double Trouble

My Christmas present to myself this year was a double-ended dildo. If I wasn’t on Santa’s naughty list before, I definitely am now!

Things were a bit too crazy during the holidays, so I waited until after New Year’s to try it out so that I’d be able to relax, take my time, and concentrate on exploring the new possibilities that this toy had to offer. Not surprisingly, it turns out that I love it!

My main motivation for adding this style of rubber dick to my little collection was not exactly what the main purpose of this toy normally is. What I wanted to do was simulate what it would be like to have a cock before I went so far as to invest in a strap-on (or maybe a strapless). My idea was to insert one end into my pussy, then jerk off the other end and see if I could get off just by stroking “my cock.” It took some trial and error, but I’m happy to report that I was very able to beat off and bring myself to orgasm!

I’ve always been envious of you guys and the way you masturbate. For us women, it’s a very limited action. We mostly diddle our clits or finger ourselves, which generally involves small actions. Worse is using a vibrator. It feels great, but there’s almost no action as we hold a buzzing object against our lady parts and wait for the feelings to come to us. One of the reasons I love watching men jerk off is that they have that big, fat cock to really grip onto and stroke. Sure, your fist is only moving a few inches up and down, but you can really get your whole arm and shoulder into the action. You can take it slow and easy, but you’re also able to get much more aggressive with your cock than I can with my pussy (unless I want to become an S&M devotee and cruelly abuse my sweet little kitty).

So, there I was in the middle of the day – hubby at work, kids at school – and I unwrapped my new toy. Naked on my bed, I lubed it up, slipped one end into my already wet hole and grabbed a hold of the half that was projecting from my pussy. It’s flexible enough that I can easily bend it up and around to an angle that closely mimics what it would look like if I had a cock. Just seeing myself like that was almost enough to get me off. I began stroking slowly and was instantly in heaven.

I quickly learned that it was going to be difficult to keep it inside me, so I had to use my free hand to press against where the dildo bent to keep it from popping out of my pussy after half a dozen strokes. I tried clamping down with my cunt muscles, but that only made it slip out sooner. I was a little bummed that I wasn’t able to use that free hand to play with my tits while I jerked off, but I soon discovered that I could reach my clit with the thumb of that hand, which was a fair trade off for the moment.

Once I got all the logistics worked out, I started to truly beat off for the first time. It was amazing! As I jacked my cock, the other end moved inside me. I tried a few different angles until I found the one that hit all the right spots. As I cranked my shaft, I naturally shifted and wiggled, which repeatedly caused me to lose that perfect alignment. This was annoying at first, but then I discovered that readjusting to find that spot again was only adding to the excitement. With some practice, I got into a steady rhythm and wanked my prick for a good ten minutes until I managed to make myself cum. It felt soooo fucking good!

There were two things that make this type of orgasm unique for me. First is the visual of watching my hand rapidly sliding up and down my very own cock. It’s hard to express just what a thrill that is. The other is the full on arm action I talked about. It feel so much more physical and visceral than just strumming my fingertips across my clit. Now that I’ve had a small glimpse into what the male masturbation experience is like, I’m even more envious than ever!

I’ve had several sessions over the past couple weeks with my bendy new friend. Twice now I’ve done it in front of a mirror so I could watch myself jerk off. Totally awesome. And this week I figured out that if I straddle the arm of our sofa, I can hold the inserted end of the dildo in my pussy by pressing down while I whack off. This allows me to go to town on my tits and nipples with my free hand! I guess that’s why they say necessity is the motherfucker of invention.

I haven’t told hubby about this gift to myself yet. I’m going to be selfish a little longer, but I will eventually share it with him – maybe it can be my Valentine’s surprise for him this year. I’m not sure if he’ll be into watching me jerk off, but I’m sure he’ll like if I bend it around the other way and DP myself with it (something I have tried once so far and will certainly be doing again). I’d love for him to give me a “blowjob,” but I don’t know how comfortable he’d be with that. I also have fantasies about him taking one end in his butt while I have the other in my asshole and we masturbate like that. Again, not sure if he’d be crazy about that idea. I’ll have to move slowly and do my best to get him liquored up before I attempt to seduce my man into doing any of the “gay” stuff.

If I do manage to lead him down that path, my next purchase may very well be that strap-on I’ve been eyeing…

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