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Feeling Things Out…

I think my new longitude is giving me weird dreams! Two nights ago I dreamed that a strange pygmy goat kept trying to head butt me. And this morning I had a dream that I was in a sorority with Amy Schumer and for some reason she was referring to her vagina as her “chimney.” The good news is that this dream gave me an idea for a porn story when I woke up. How does this sound…?

“House Boy” – a sorority secures the services of a good-looking, well-hung, experienced stud as a live-in ‘handy man.’ Ostensibly he’s there to take care of the maintenance on the sorority house, but his real purpose is to take care of the sorority sisters. The leaders of the sorority rationalize this with the theory that the girls spend so much time and energy chasing relationships that they would be able to concentrate more on their school work if there was a desirable communal ‘boyfriend’ available to take care of their various physical needs with no strings attached. Of course, in a house full of horny co-eds, this is bound to create more drama than it avoids – but how much fun would it be navigating those stormy waters!? Just a thought…

I haven’t risked doing anything too dirty on my ‘home’ (i.e. company) internet connection yet, but I have found a few nearby coffee shops with free wifi that I can at least use for dirty minded e-mails when I get a chance. I made this update using the TOR browser – which I think should encrypt things enough that it shouldn’t set off any alarms (I hope). I figure if I don’t post too often, and use a different coffee shop each time I do, that I can stay a step or two ahead of the porn police (assuming they’re real, or even care about a low-level offender like me).

Everything here is new and confusing – but I love it so far. The girls are out of their minds…in a good way. It will be challenging, but I’m feeling a lot more confident about this move and excited to find out what adventures each new day might bring!

And, sorry, I didn’t manage to join the mile-high club on the journey here, but I was able to ‘sweep my chimney’ under the blanket during the flight while all the lights were low – it took a long time for me to ‘get there,’ but it was such a nasty thrill!

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Oh, God!

As they say, there are two things you should never discuss at a porn blog: religion and politics. So, in the past, I’ve tentatively violated the prohibition against politics, so I might as well go ahead and break the rest of the rule!

Let me start by confessing that I’m a “non-believer.” Before I go on, I have to say that I don’t like that label, nor do I like defining myself as an “atheist.” It doesn’t sit well with me to identify myself by what I DON’T believe. In my own little mind I call myself a Mythisist. I know this term may have other specific meanings, but for me it nicely encapsulates what I DO believe – that all religions (ALL) are based on myths – flawed fictional stories written by humans in a effort to explain the elements of the universe that are (or were) difficult (or impossible) to comprehend. I don’t intend to insult anyone else’s beliefs with this position – if it brings one comfort to believe that Jesus, or Mohammed, or Vishnu, or Yoda, or Zeus, or Ra, or Odin, or Moroni, or Cthulu, or any of the host of other invisible divine entities humans have revered throughout the millennia use their magic powers to intervene in your life so that things go your way, then I’m happy for you. That’s not to say I won’t be silently judging you and downgrading my estimation of your overall capacity for rational thought, but I’m all for you believing whatever brings you comfort (unless you’re my doctor…I’m not going to put my own personal biology in the hands of someone who doesn’t accept evolution!).

And, for the sake of full disclosure, I’m a total hypocrite. Despite my heretical beliefs, I do (sporadically) attend a Protestant church. My husband and I mainly, I think, do this out of habit as we were both raised in church-going households (though not especially strict when it came to the rules – Thou shalt not leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight was by far a more important commandment for me growing up, for example, than coveting my neighbor’s wife). I do enjoy the social aspects attending our little church offers, and it helps that our friends and neighbors don’t have to wonder if we’re Satan-worshipping heathens. Community aside, I also like the idea of allowing our kids to be exposed to the church (mostly through Sunday school) so that they have enough of an understanding about Christianity to be able to make their own informed decisions about religion when they are of an age to care about such things.

Okay, so, for those of you who haven’t yet deleted my site from you favorites list and closed your browser in a righteous huff, I’m telling you this because I’m curious about the intersection of religion and erotic stories (if there is one). I’ve been playing around with religion a little in “Open Door Policy,” as many of you have surely noticed. I didn’t really set out to create Vera as a devout Catholic just to pull her down into the cesspit of incestuous sin that most of us love to wallow in. ODP has very much been a writing experiment for me – no planning, no outlining, no character sketches, or any of that. I sit down and write each chapter not really knowing what’s going to happen or where the story might be leading. It’s not my natural style, but it can be very exciting to discover what my characters are going to do as it happens on the page. The idea of Joanne being the corrupting force in her otherwise pious friend’s life has been very arousing and gratifying for me. And, based on some of the feedback, this is an exciting aspect of the story for many of you as well.

I say this all to bring me around to the point that I’m intrigued by the idea of doing more in mixing porn and religiosity. The theme of a staunchly religious person (I always picture this person being a woman) being drawn into a debaucherous sexual situation has endless potential. But, beyond that, most all of our taboos are rooted in religion, and so adding that extra dimension to the taboos of incest, multiple-partners, same sex relations, and so on only amps up the perversion in any given story line that involves the mixing and matching of the two (or three, or four).

For some reason, the thought of doing Christian Erotica has been nagging at me for several months now. In this case I’m not talking about the kind of story where the Christian characters are corrupted or violate the holy tenents of their beliefs, but where they are confronted by a sexual quandary that must be resolved in keeping with biblical teachings in order to maintain their marriage in a wholesome and dutiful manner. I don’t know if I could pull it off, but the challenge of writing a dirty story that truly devout people would read, and (hopefully) masturbate to, really fires up my nether bits. Yes, I suppose the idea of playing the corruptor has a huge appeal for this perv!

I’m also curious about other religions as well. I had someone write and ask if I could do a story about a pair of Mormon sisters going on a mission together and doing some experimenting with each other. The idea really appeals to me, but I don’t yet know enough about Mormonism to convincingly tackle something along these lines. Likewise, I’m always intrigued when I get an e-mail from an admitted Muslim who enjoys my stories. I know the stuff I write MUST be forbidden within Islam, and so I love to find out how they justify reading my smut (and presumably beating off their no-no pole in the process). I don’t know if there’s much to exploit when it comes to Jewish, Hindu, or Buddhist circles, but I’m more than willing to learn!

Anyway, I don’t know where any of this might lead me, if anywhere, but I thought I’d throw it out there and see if any of you have an opinion on all of this. Would you prefer to keep religion out of your porn, or does the idea of a religious person giving in to temptation and discovering the joys of transgressive sex hold a special appeal for you? Is my notion of writing wholesome bible porn a hare-brained concept or a viable consideration? Should I risk death by jihad and write about what really goes on behind the curtains in the Sultan’s harem? (If I remember correctly, I think there was some pretty racy stuff along these lines in the original “1001 Nights.” When the Sultan is away, the harem will play.) Or, do you have any other random thoughts related to socially critical magisteria of religion and porn?

I promise to give you absolution after you confess your dirty, dirty sins to me…

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Tweeting Off


This is probably going to come off like a “humble brag,” but I wanted to take a minute to talk about my Twitter. I was dubious when I first made an account there for many reasons. Firstly, I felt like I was too old to be Tweeting, but it turns out the kids are doing their Snapchats and whatever the newest thing is and have left Twitter to the lame old “adults.” I also wasn’t sure I’d have anything worth Tweeting about. I still kind of think that, but it doesn’t really stop me. When I started, I expected to max out at about 20 or 30 followers. Would it really be worth the effort (albeit a small one) to come up with stuff to Tweet about for an audience that small? Then, I had assumed once I’d disappointing the few followers I had, I’d level off at about a dozen followers. Not for the first (or last) time…I was wrong.

To prove it, I hit the 15,000 follower mark this morning and I’m totally bemused and bewildered! I certainly don’t feel like I deserve so many followers, but I can’t really argue with the numbers. I guess I should start by thanking the folks here who have followed me at Twitter – I don’t want to label you as “stalkers,” but I am flattered by the expansive obsessiveness of your interest in me. I guess the most important thing is that many people discovered my blog after finding me on Twitter. Since one of the things that drives me is to attract as many readers to my dirty stories as I can (and thus increase the number of potential orgasms I might manage to wheedle out of various cocks and pussies) this is a good thing. I also like having a place to blurt out some of the random, weird, or nasty thoughts that cross my dirty mind as I go about my day. It would be a dirty shame is my perverted wisdom was wasted on me alone!

If I had known how much porn there was on Twitter, I probably would have signed up long before I actually did. One of my favorite parts of my daily routine is scrolling through all the naked ladies and erect guys that show up in my feed and get my juices flowing. Such a great source of carnal motivation. I have many good friends in real life, but I don’t have the kind of relationship with any of them that allows me to feel comfortable sharing any details of my sex life. But, I love that I can tell my Twitter friends about how I got fucked in the ass the night before, ate a big load of hubby’s cum during half-time, masturbated to forbidden thoughts about my young nephew, or simply had a pleasant evening of boring dick-in-twat married sex with my dear hubby. It’s very gratifying to have a safe place to openly share what I’m doing with my cunt and know that thousands of people are privy to what I would otherwise never whisper to another soul who knows me as the sweet, innocent mother and housewife that I present myself to world as.

I wonder how much porn is in Donald’s Twitter feed. Or, how many dick pics he receives each day. Maybe it’s also worth considering the possibility that the president has jacked off to my stories. Or at least had his Slovenian sex slave give him a tug job as Ivanka reads one of my stories to him at bedtime.

What a freaky modern world we’ve created for ourselves. I can’t wait to see what perversion enabling technologies we come up with next! I know it’s probably a long way off, but I’d love for body-morphing to be a thing. I so want to spend a week (or more) as a man with my very own cock. I’ve got a bad case of penis envy and would intensely enjoy experiencing what it feels like to really jerk off, penetrate someone with my very own flesh-and-blood cock, and ejaculate a big, gooey wad of cum all over someone’s face! I’d also want to try out big boobs. Nothing comically huge, but enough to draw lustful leers from the men, and scowls of jealous contempt from the women. It would be interesting to see if or how I might be treated if I were sporting a big, bouncy pair of barely contained bodacious ta-tas.

What high-tech perversion enabling innovation would you most like to see in your lifetime? Holographic porn? Sex robots? Full-spectrum STD eradication? Celebrity clones as sex slaves? Self-driving cars that allow you to masturbate on the highway with both hands as you commute? Or, how about zero-g sex in orbit? Or would trying to calculate all the equal and opposite reactions just cause you a boner-wilting headache? Or, maybe just a simple brain implant that would allow us to press a button for an instant orgasm whenever the mood strikes us? Hmm, tempting, but I really like playing with myself and working hard to earn my orgasms.

Wait…I thought this post was about Twitter…ah, well…as long as we’re having fun…

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