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This ‘n’ That

I have a couple bits of un-fun bizniss to get out of the way, and then a quick insight into my dirty mind.

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I love when you leave comments and I can’t get enough of them! I’ve complained about how clunky and basic the commenting system is on this blogging platform plenty of times, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon. One of the quirks of the system is that if anything is entered in the “website” field when you’re making a comment, then your message gets thrown into the spam bucket (it doesn’t even have to be a web address). I have no idea why, but it means that your comment won’t appear until I comb through the 30 to 50 items that show up in my spam bucket each day in order to rescue the occasional legitimate comment. If you want to your message to appear right away and not risk having it accidentally flushed with the real spam, always leave the “website” field blank!

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There has been a spike in requests for pictures of me. I want to once again make it clear that I don’t share pictures. If this is seems too vague, let me try to be more specific. I won’t share nude photos of myself. I won’t share clothed pics. I won’t share naked images with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share clothed pictures of me with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share photos of just my boobs, just my pussy, just my feet, or just any part of my body. I won’t send you pics of my sex toys, my dirty panties, or my used tampons. I won’t share pictures of my daughters, brother, or any family member. I guess what I’m trying to say (without sounding like too big of a bitch), is that I will not share pictures having anything to do with my private life. I totally understand why guys want/need my picture, but it’s just not going to happen. I’m honestly nothing all that special bodywise, and there are millions of willing naked women on the web with much more to offer than me. Part of my problem with the repeated requests is that I’m generally a people pleaser and I hate saying no. It’s uncomfortable for me to have to constantly say no even after I’ve addressed the sharing of pictures in other posts and in my FAQ. I feel like I freely share enough of my self through my stories and posts and don’t deserve the pressure to give more than I already do. Sorry for being such a downer on this topic, but if you want more details about why I’m so protective about sharing pictures, you can take a look at this post from waaaay back in 2014: Photophobia.

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In a recent email, a horny reader commented that he would like to be a fly on the wall when me and my friends get together with some wine. Well, I had to tell him that he would be one bored fly. My “mommy friends” are all very conservative and uptight (at least they are when we get together). It’s all about kids, TV shows, kids, clothes, kids, stupid husbands, and more kid stuff. To be honest, after about twenty minutes I’m ready to blow my brains out. But then my dirty mind takes over. As one of my friend chatters on, I wonder what she looks like naked. Big nipples or tiny points? Are they still firm or saggy fun bags? Hairy or shaved? Gnarly lips of delicate petals? Gaping fuck hole or modest love tunnel? I often wonder about what they look like when they masturbate. What technique do they use? Is she a furniture humper like me? Does she ram herself raw with a big dong while her legs are in the air? Does she quietly vibe herself under the blanket in the dark? Does she squat on a big black dildo in the middle of her living room and fuck it like there’s no tomorrow? After this, I start to bring husbands into the picture. Does she like to take it from behind or ride him reverse cowgirl style? Does she let him cum on her face? Do they tongue each other’s asshole like me and my husband? What would she do if I was sucking her husband’s cock right in front of her? Would she finger fuck herself and watch while I swallowed her man’s load? What if I took on all of their husbands at once? Three at a time filling each of my holes and covering me in hot jizz while those waiting their turn jerked their hard cocks in anticipation. Would my prudish friends gather around to lick my spunk-covered body clean after the men were done with me? Whew, yeah! So, while our get-togethers are extremely dull, I usually end up masturbating like a mad woman as soon as the tea party ends!

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I Saw Mommy Fucking Santa Claus

It was Christmas Eve and I was so excited that I couldn’t hardly sleep! Neither could Mister Wiggles and Dolly Holly. I was a good girl all year and it was finally going to pay off, but only if I could fall asleep. I closed my eyes real tight, but that didn’t work. Then I heard something outside. It might probably have been reindeer. I went and looked out the window. Snow was falling down, and I could see some footprints. Most likely elves. I jumped back into bed because I was afraid Santa would skip my house if I was awake. That’s when I first hear him.

“Ho, ho, ho…”

The sound came from downstairs. He was here! Right in my house. I tried to be the goodest I’ve ever been, but I couldn’t stand it. I had to go take one little peek. Mister Wiggles wanted to see, too. We sneaked down the stairs and there he was. It was Santa! I couldn’t even believe it. Wait until I told stupid Tiffany that he really was real. That’s when I saw something very strange.

Mommy was sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. There were all kinds of presents there and I could tell most of them were for me. But the strange thing was that Mommy had hardly any clothes on. She usually wore a big, fluffy robe at night, but all she had on was this tiny little dress that you could see right through. She was looking at Santa and smiling in a funny way.

That’s when Mommy opened her legs apart and she didn’t have any underpants on. She was showing Santa her foo-foo. Mommy always told me that was s’posed to be private. Santa said, “Ho, ho, ho!” again and was very happy about it. Mommy started touching herself all over down between her legs and was kind of squirming around. It was the strangest thing I ever saw her do.

Santa took off his big mittens and pulled down his pants. I covered my eyes because I shouldn’t of seen Santa’s naked butt. I took another peek and saw him pulling on his ding-ding. I knew about ding-dings because I helped Mommy change my baby cousin’s diaper a couple times. Santa’s ding-ding was much, much bigger than Jeffery’s. He pulled and pulled and it got bigger and bigger. It must have been from Christmas magic. Mister Wiggles was scared, but he wanted to stay and see more.

Mommy was making funny noises and pinching the ends of her breasts (Tiffany calls them boobs). It looked like it hurt, but she was still smiling and she was having fun. That’s when Santa went over and waved his ding-ding around by her face. Mommy opened her mouth wide and Santa put his thing right in there! Mommy started sucking on it real hard. It was the strangest thing, but Santa made a moaning sound like it felt very good.

Then I noticed something felt good between my legs. I never felt anything like it before. I squeezed my legs together tight, but that only made it worser…or betterer, actually.

Santa pulled his huge ding-ding out of Mommy’s mouth and hit her face with it a bunch of times. I was afraid Mommy would get mad at him for doing that, but I guess she liked it. He grabbed one of her boobs and squeezed it. Mommy was still touching herself a lot between the legs and some of her fingers looked like they were going up inside somewhere. This was too crazy to believe.

The strange feeling in my underpants was going nuts. I stuffed Mister Wiggles down there to make it stop. It didn’t make it go away, but it felt extra nice instead.

Mommy suddenly turned around and got on her hands and knees like a doggy. Santa kneeled down behind her and poked at her behind with his big ding-ding. Mommy reached around and spread her butt cheeks open, then she said, “I’ve been a very naughty girl, Santa.” Was she crazy! That’s the last thing you want to say to Santa because then you don’t get any presents.

Santa leaned over and spit on her right between her butt cheeks. She was in so much trouble now!

“Yes you have,” he said. “Santa needs to teach this naught girl a lesson.”

Ho, boy, I knew Mommy was going to get it for that. What could she have done that was so bad?

“Santa is going to have to shove his North Pole in your naughty little asshole.”

I didn’t know what an asshole was, but it didn’t sound nice. Mommy just nodded and shook her butt. It was almost like she wanted to be punished! Santa pulled his ding-ding a few more times then pushed it against her. He pushed and pushed then all of a sudden it disappear somewhere. I very quietly moved down a few stairs so I could get a better look. That’s when I couldn’t believe what I was seeing more than anything.

Santa’s ding-ding was going into Mommy’s butt. It was impossible, but I guess if Santa can get down a chimney that he could also get up there. He moved so his giant thing went in and out. Mommy was making happy noises, and so was Santa. This didn’t look like such a bad punishment. Actually, it was almost like Mommy was being even more naughty than ever. Mister Wiggles rubbed against my foo-foo harder and harder, and I watched some more.

Santa’s ding-ding went in and out over and over again, and then he gave Mommy a big spank. I thought she was going to cry after that, but she only laughed and said, “More!” She got more spanks and liked it. I never liked getting spanks, but maybe I was s’posed to. Mister Wiggles was rubbing faster and faster.

“I’m coming,” Mommy said. “Oh, fuck, I’m coming.” I was very surprised that Mommy said a dirty word, and I couldn’t figure out where she was coming from because she was already right there. Everything was getting stranger and stranger. “Oh, Santa, fuck my dirty, naughty asshole!”

That’s when Mommy shook all over and made all kinds of whimpering noises. It made my foo-foo tingle when that happened, but I don’t know why.

“Santa’s ready,” he said and pulled his ding-ding out of Mommy’s butt.

Mommy turned around real fast and opened her mouth wide. Santa was pulling on his thing real fast.

“Santa only comes once a year,” he said, “and here it is you fucking cum slut!”

I didn’t have time to be upset about Santa saying a bad word because all of the sudden creamy milk began squirting out of his ding-ding and into Mommy’s mouth. He gave her about five squirts, and seeing that gave me even more tingles between my legs for some reason. Mommy moved her tongue around and it was all covered with the gooey milk. She swallowed a couple times then showed Santa that she’d swallowed it all. That made Santa very happy.

“Merry Christmas,” Santa said and leaned over and gave Mommy a big kiss. She would be in huge trouble if Daddy ever found out that she was kissing with someone else!

I quietly tip-toed back upstairs to my room and got into bed. That funny-nice feeling was still there between my legs. I laid down on my tummy with Dolly Holly under my foo-foo. I moved my butt around kind of like the way Mommy did and it felt really good. I kept giving myself tingles until I fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning I thought that it must have all just been a dream. I ran downstairs and all my presents were there just like I had dreamed about. There was a bite taken out of the cookies I made for Santa, and the carrot was almost gone (most likely he let Rudolf eat it). I was about to go wake up Mommy and Daddy so I could open presents, then that’s when I saw it.

Where I had dreamed about Mommy and Santa doing strange things there was a spot on the floor. I got down close and looked at it. I sniffed it and it smelled familiar. I figured out that it was a dried spot of Santa’s ding-ding milk. It wasn’t a dream! I really saw Mommy fucking Santa Claus underneath the Christmas tree last night!

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Baiting My Brother

I was recently asked a question that really got me thinking. If I were to seduce my brother today, how would I go about it?

Not to be a spoil-sport, but I need to say right off the top that I have no intention of attempting to have sex with my brother. I say this in a futile effort to avoid a rash of messages telling me I should put this plan into action. As I’ve said before, I’m not willing to put my marriage, or his, in jeopardy in exchange for the sake of a kinky thrill. Between my husband and my writing, my pussy is already getting all the action she needs to be content. Now, if it should happen that we both somehow end up single at some point in the near future, I’ll reconsider. If, however, I had no regard for my wedding vows or the stability of Nick’s family, here’s what I’m thinking I’d do…

For starters, being the kind of person I am, I’d have to take things slow. If real life were a porno, I could just show up at his house one day, drop my panties, and say, “Wanna fuck?” Of course his answer would be, “Hell, yeah!” and we’d merrily go to pound town together on his kitchen floor without a second thought. While that’s certainly an option, the risk factor is well beyond what I’m willing to chance, and I’m more than certain I don’t have the balls to attempt anything even close to that.

The way I’d start it would be to test the waters in very gradual stages. I’d want to know with some confidence that he would respond positively to any advances I might make. I would be devastated if he rejected me, and probably too embarrassed to face him after coming on to him sexually only to be shot down. First I’d start dressing sexier when I knew I was going to see him. Nothing too overt, but I’d choose my wardrobe such that it would allow me the option to show off to him whenever the opportunity allowed, but remain otherwise conservative when anyone was around. For example, a short skirt that might ride up by accident, or a loose blouse that could hang open if I happened to lean over in front of him. I’d carefully watch to see what his reaction was to these incidental flashes of sister-flesh was. If he was happy to help himself to a peek rather than avert his eyes, this would prompt me to move to phase 2.

The next thing I’d have to do is find a way to spend time with him alone. This would be tricky. One idea is that I would have to use one of Nick’s hobbies that doesn’t involve his wife. What I came up with was golf. I could tell him that I want to learn to play. I’d ask if he could teach me, but not tell anyone because it was going to surprise my husband if I got good at it (which I wouldn’t). We could meet up at a local course once every week or two after he got out of work. I’d tell Dave I had joined some new club or was going to a women-only gym. I’d use the time on the course to get a little flirty with my brother, and do a bit more showing off in tight shorts and tops. Maybe even forget my bra on occasion.

After the driving range or a quick 9 holes, I’d do my best to maneuver him into the club house for a beer or two where we could talk. Over time I would carefully introduce topics that were more and more intimate. Again, I’d be careful to gauge his reaction to these conversational gambits. Does he try to change the subject, fidget and clam up, or engage with me and encourage further discussion along such provocative lines? I wouldn’t try anything too explicit out of the gate. Maybe get him to swap stories about any wild college experiences. Perhaps ask about girlfriends he had before getting married. And probably mention something I saw in the news or on Facebook that has a sexual element to it.

If he went along with this, I’d loosen up the joking and sexual innuendo. We can be fairly open around each other now, but sexy banter between us is very much the exception, not the rule – especially one-on-one. Assuming he plays along, I would work in more personal things. I might fill him in on how and when I lost my virginity, or tell him about the time I walked in on my roommate masturbating (I didn’t), or confess how my sex drive seems to be getting stronger as I get older (it is).

My hope would be that he’d respond in kind, and talk with me about similarly private aspects of his life. If nothing else, having Nick talk about his sexual experiences with me would be enough to fuel my masturbation fantasies for a couple decades. When I felt it was safe, I’d go even deeper. I’d admit to finding our father’s porn stash and maybe mention how I’d sneak out to the garage on occasion and spend some “alone time” looking at his dirty magazines and books. I’d hint around about sometimes looking at porn online, working it into the conversation in the form of a little joke here and there. I’d also be sure to look for any excuse to touch him. A lingering pat on the shoulder, helping him get the ketchup off his lip, or fixing his mussed up hair for him. Of course, I’d only say and do these sorts of things after a beer or two, allowing me to blame the alcohol if I got myself into trouble.

I thought about using text messages and/or email to supplement my flirtation, but there would be too much danger leaving evidence like that for either of our spouses to find. As tempting as it is, most of the people getting caught misbehaving are undone because of their phone or computer. With everything going to plan, I’d wait for just the right time and tell him that I wrote an erotic story that I posted online. If he wanted to see it, I’d direct him to some site where I had uploaded it under a new alias. I’d either write something new, or use a version of “Coming Out to Play.” Upon receiving a positive response, I’d tell him I’d also written a “taboo” story but was afraid to post it. Ideally, he’d encourage me to put it on the web (mostly because he’s secretly dying to read it). The story would be something fairly neutral to our situation so as not to be too blatant about what I was up to. Maybe a nice sister/sister story where the first initials of the girls’ names would be N and R (matching Nick and Rachael).

Once I’d gotten favorable feedback from him on the incest story, I’d probably teasingly ask him if he jerked off to it. Not sure if he’d confess to this, but I wouldn’t press him too hard on it knowing that he had most likely beat his dick like a rented mule while reading his little sister’s filthy story. I’d then let Nick know that I’d gotten a lot of requests from readers for a brother/sister story, but I’d feel weird about writing something like that and would want his blessing before attempting a story that hit that close to home. Hopefully he’d push for more details, and I’d explain that I had a weird crush on him when we were teens. My mission at that point would to be to get some sort of confirmation from him that he had any kind of sexual interest in me back then.

At this point, everything has all been slowly developing over the course of several months at the minimum. Maybe golf season is over by now and I’ve wormed my way onto his co-ed darts team. Whatever the case, if everything feels right, I’ll hit the fruity girl-drinks harder than usual during one of our get-togethers. While we’re saying our goodbyes in the parking lot, I’ll step up close to him and ask, “Can I try something?” Before he can answer, I’ll go up on my tippy-toes and kiss him on the lips. But not a sister kiss. A nice, long, sexy, “I want you” kiss.

If I need an explanation, I’ll tell him that I always wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him like that, and that it was much better than I imagined. After that, I would pretty much leave it up to him to move things forward. If he hadn’t taken the lead by then, this would be the full steam ahead signal from me. I wouldn’t play any games with him. If he kept things between us at the level they were, I’d go along with that. If he tried to seduce me, I’d let him. If he shoved me in the backseat of his SUV and wanted to fuck me there on the spot, I’d spread my legs and hand my pussy over to him to do with as he pleased. Knowing my brother, he’d be more gentlemanly than that. Part of the thrill for me would be to see how he went about crossing that line with me. I could definitely go for a bit of seduction – something I don’t think I’ll be able to experience again in my romantic life.

I don’t believe I have a preference between a brief affair versus a prolonged siblings-with-benefits arrangement, but I’d be happy either way. Just being able to know what it’s like to fuck and suck my brother’s cock, to make him jerk off for me while I watch, and to taste his cum would more than satisfy me for years to come (and come, and come).

Okay, so it’s far from being the boldest plan, but with my personality it’s the best I can imagine myself doing in real life. Taking it slow would give me plenty of chances to bail if he wasn’t picking up what I was putting down. Also, using alcohol and humor would provide a cover to safely pull back from any comments or actions that he felt were inappropriate.

And, whether he went for me or not, I’d always have my fantasies and a fat dildo with his name on it!

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Woman Arrested for Sex with Son of Friend

You just know there’s always more to the story than is reported. What would it be like if we were given all the sordid details…?

First, the real story.

Now, the Hole Story:

Authorities in Mississippi have arrested a woman from Turraro accused of carrying on a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy for several weeks. June Roberts, 38, was booked into the Lincoln Parish Correctional Center in Denton. Bond with her bail was set at $5,000.

Roberts is charged with carnal knowledge of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile. Roberts apparently met the victim through an acquaintance and allegedly persuaded the teen to participate in a sexual relationship for about six weeks.

“It was more like blackmail,” the boy said during our interview. “June and my mom hung out at the same bar, and one night my mom had a few too many and told her that she would sometimes fuck me when my dad was away on a long haul. After that, June waited for me after school one day and told me she’d call the cops about me and my mom if I didn’t start fucking her, too.”

The sexual encounters took place at the home where Roberts was living. According to the Sherriff, the boy told deputies he did not reveal the relationship to authorities because she threatened him.

Roberts refuted this allegation. “All I did was tell him that I heard he liked banging older women, flashed him my tits, and asked if he was interested. That’s all it took. The boy was a regular fuck machine after that. He couldn’t get enough of my pussy, and came around almost every day just to get his dick wet. The only time I threatened the little fucker was when he tried to shove his cock up my shitter that one time.”

In the end, it was a friend of Roberts’ who contacted the police in July upon discovering the relationship.

“It was that bitch Shirley,” Roberts accused during arraignment proceedings. “I told her about how I was getting a nice hunk of young cock on the regular. She asked if she could ‘borrow’ my boy toy for an afternoon. I told her no because I knew it she’d want him more and more if I let her have a taste of his hard dick. The backstabbing slut up and turned me in because I wouldn’t share.”

It took detectives several weeks to investigate the case. When investigators obtained a warrant for Roberts’ arrest, she was nowhere to be found. The Sheriff’s Office took her into custody on Tuesday from her home in Turraro. Officers found her in the company of the boy in question. The two were both naked, covered in scented oil, and performing lewd acts involving several items they’d purchased at a hardware store earlier that afternoon.

As the officers waited for the boy to get dressed, he remarked: “She likes to force me to shove weird stuff in her cunt then slap her titties around. What was I supposed to do? We would have gone to jail if she turned us in for all the fucking me and mom do. At least my mom lets me do butt stuff with her.”

The arrest wasn’t planned. Deputies were at the property on an unrelated matter, but while cops were at the home they determined she had an outstanding warrant and arrested her. She offered oral sex and other sexual favors to the officers in exchange for not taking her into custody.

“A few of the guys let her suck them off,” Deputy Barnes told reporters, “and I gave her pussy a good pounding, but that wasn’t going to stop us from doing our lawful duty. We’re just happy the boy is safe at home where he can fuck his momma in peace like the good Lord intended.”

When the mother was contacted by phone for comment, the boy told us she couldn’t speak because his cock was currently halfway down her throat.

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Pleasure Hunt

I took advantage of my alone time this morning while my husband was at the playground with the kids to post Becoming a Cuckold 2. It looks like enough of you are enjoying it to have made it all worthwhile. It may not be a blockbuster, but at least it’s not the total flop I was worried it would be. I’m going to try to get the last chapter up around the end of the week.

On an unrelated note, there’s been something turning me on for the past several days that I thought I should share with you. I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately about what I would do if my girls showed sexual interest in their father or me when they are older. That’s still a long way off, but I can’t help thinking about it when prompted.

At this point, I can’t see either of us acting on the temptation of our girls testing their sexuality out on us (even in the unlikely event that ever even happens). I would certainly love to see my husband get turned on and struggle with shame of getting hard at the sight of one of his girls in a sexy little bikini by the pool, but I don’t know how I’d react if he wanted to take things further than that. As for me, I have a few ideas in my head, but at this point it’s only fantasy.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately that’s been turning me on is the idea of the girls snooping through my bedroom someday down the road. I know I did it, and most of you probably did, too. I was looking for anything related to sex – some clue to fill in the missing pieces of what adults do behind closed door. I wanted to unravel the great mystery.

I suppose there’s not much mystery these days for kids due to the intertubes and instant access to porn in all its glorious forms. But, on the off chance that my girls take the old school route and poke through my things, I’ve decided that I’m going to give them something to find. I was very disappointed in my safaris into my parents’ bedroom, never finding anything especially telling, but I don’t want this to be the same for my kids.

Right now, my toys are in fairly easy reach (nightstand, second drawer, under my nighties). I often reminded myself that I was going to have to stash them somewhere more secure when the kids got older. Instead, I’ve now decided to leave them right where they are so that if either of my girls come looking they will easily find Mommy’s fake cock, vibrating fuck toys, butt plugs, and whatever else I’ve added to my collection in the meantime.

I want them to know the thrill of discovery, and the excitement of getting a peek into my private life in a way they never expected. I want the realization that there’s more to their mother’s sexuality than they may have guessed. I want there to be unquestionable evidence that I masturbate. I want them to be able to smell me on my toys, and maybe even taste me if they are so inclined. And, if they’re anything like me, they’ll experiment for themselves and perhaps use Mommy’s naughty devices to pleasure their own little pussies and get off right there on their parents’ bed, while listening intently to make sure there’s no one home to catch them.

As I’ve turned this fantasy over and over in my head during the past week, I’ve also started thinking about “planting” naked pictures of me and my husband in my room for one or both of our girls to find. It was my fondest dream to come across dirty Polaroids of my parents misbehaving with each other. I never even came close. I know it’s an appalling idea for a parent to have, but the idea of my daughter seeing a picture of her dad’s hard cock makes my heart go pitter-patter in a very inappropriate way. Even more so when I imagine her reaction to seeing that cock in her mom’s mouth, and especially that one shot of the aftermath: Mommy’s face covered in Daddy’s cum, and the huge smile that goes along with it.

I’d like there to be pictures of me spreading my pussy, fingering my cunt, and fucking their father’s lovely cock. I want them to see me proudly displaying my asshole, sucking Daddy’s balls, and otherwise behaving like a sex-loving slut. All with that horny smile on my face. I’ve made myself cum at least a dozen times lately with the image of one of my daughters on her knees on my bed, these pictures spread out in front of her, while she fucks herself with one of my toys and brings herself to a screaming orgasm. How could encouraging something so beautiful be considered bad?

Like I said, all this is a long way off, and anything can happen before this even has the chance of being a reality. Maybe I’ll receive a vision from on high and become a devout Scientologist. I don’t know if I’ll be able to bring myself to leave explicitly pornographic pictures in my bedroom for my nosy girls to find, but I think I can at least get up the courage to tuck away a few tasteful nudes of their father and me where they wouldn’t be too hard to find.

Either way, I’m beginning to think I might need to invest in a good hidden nanny cam for my bedroom…

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