Sex Snoop

I often snooped through my parents’ bedroom when I was in my mid-teens. I was on the hunt for anything to do with sex, and had no qualms about invading their privacy (as long as I didn’t get caught). I wanted to unravel the mysteries of this adult world of penises and pussies and discover what the grown-ups were hiding from us kids. My holy grail would have been a sex tape, but I would have gladly settled for a hidden stack of Polaroids.

Sex toys weren’t even on my radar back then. My mom had a clunky back massager, which I’d seen her using for that purpose, but only looking back did I realize it most likely doubled as a vibrator. The closest I ever got was a sheer, lacy negligee that my mom had tucked away in the back of her closet.

I tried it on one time, but it didn’t fit me anywhere and looked beyond silly. Still, it turned me on to imagine my mom wearing it and getting my dad all horny for her. There were holes in the large bra section for her nipples to poke through, and they came with a flimsy pair of crotchless panties. This was the pinnacle of kink for me back then. To this day I still get a big thrill out of peek-a-boo bras and crotchless panties. There was also an item of my dad’s that intrigued me, but not in quite the same way.

It must have been some kind of gag gift because I can’t imagine either of my parents actually buying this item. It was a kind of thong thingie, sized for a man. It was pink, and the front of it had two big, floppy elephant ears, googly eyes, and an elephant truck that was designed for a cock to be slipped into it. It was totally silly, but that didn’t stop me from wondering if my dad ever put it on for fun and made the elephant’s trunk stand straight up. It may have been ridiculous, but that didn’t stop me from getting wet thinking about my parents joking around with their genitals behind closed doors.

Ironically, my biggest find wasn’t in my parents’ bedroom, but (as I’ve talked about before) in my father’s workshop. Finding Dad’s small hidden stash of porn magazines and books was a major discovery, and one I often took advantage of (leading to dozens and dozens of furtive masturbation sessions crouched in the dimly lit garage breathing in the heavy odors of motor oil and gasoline as I frantically worked my little pussy in an effort to get off before anyone found me. As wonderful as that cache of goodies was, it wasn’t quite the kind of incriminating personal evidence I was seeking.

I had one other porn find that I sometimes wonder if it was my imagination. When I was somewhere around 17 (yes, I was still snooping at that age (after I’d lost my innocence), always hoping something new might appear), I found a Playgirl magazine under my mom’s side of the mattress. I had heard it mentioned, but never really believed before then that there was such a thing as porn for women. I went through the magazine one page at a time, hardly able to breathe. Almost NO naked women at all! Mostly nude, hairy men in unnatural poses. They were attempting to be manly, but they all somehow seemed kind of effeminate. The funny thing was that I wasn’t overly impressed with the cocks I saw. I mean, they were okay, but what got me excited was the idea that my mom was looking at this stuff. I picked out the guys I thought she might like the most and masturbated to them while wondering if my mom had done the same thing. The magazine was gone the next time I looked.

Strangely, I never really snooped in my brother’s room – at least not for sex stuff. I guess, in my head, he was a kid like me, so what could there be to find? I’m sure if I looked I would have probably found some contraband porn mags, or even a forbidden VHS tape the boys were passing around. What I did do, when I had the house all to myself, was lie on his bed naked and masturbate like a fiend. I can vividly remember planting my feet and raising my hips high up, humping the air as I fingered myself and yelled out dirty stuff I would never dare say aloud to anyone. I would often start these solo sessions by fantasizing that my brother had walked in and caught me. I’d say out loud, “Look at my pussy! You like that? Yeah, watch me play with my pussy! You wanna see me cum, don’t you?” Wow, nothing turned me on back then like being able to just let loose and say whatever obscene thing came into my head while going wild on my cunt in a place I wasn’t supposed to be. “You want to fuck me, don’t you? You want to fuck your little sister’s hot pussy! Go ahead – give me your cock! Put your cock in me!” Oh, shit, so fucking good – even to this day!

I was often too scared to snoop at the houses where I babysat, but when I did I usually came up empty. I guess I grew up in a very sexually repressed area. I found a three-pack of Trojan condoms once, which didn’t do much for me. One lady had a string of balls in her panty drawer that I would only later realize were probably anal beads, but at the time I had no clue what they were for so I didn’t really get to enjoy the discovery in the moment. Maybe I should take up babysitting again – I bet I’d be a lot better at snooping, and I’d probably find a lot more “incriminating evidence”! (Although the advent of the nanny cam might put a crimp in things…)

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13 thoughts on “Sex Snoop

  1. Hi @Rachael ! I hope this URL works – my “childhood friend” was the Wahl CLIPPER Jumbo Model H Electric Massage Vibrator (although I’ve come to think of it as The Vibrator of J. Alfred Prufrock). This pic is the closest I’ve been able to find. There are many more pics out there of a white model. I realize that after 4+ decades my memory is less than perfect, but I *know* that ‘my’ Wahl was black/gray, and it lived in a blue (turquoise?) box.

    Just searching for the pic was a fascinating exercise: there are a lot of Vintage Vibrators out there. Many come adorned with amusing but also alarming illustrations: you would NOT hold one of these things up against your head and turn it on. I get the sense that these things were maybe sold at department stores and drug stores and the local Woolworth’s with a kind of “wink wink” – this was back in the days when you had to walk into a store and buy something in person. (Mostly; I believe you could buy all kinds of things via mail-order, but I think that back then just finding a catalog or an ad in a magazine for this kind of item was challenging)(just guesswork, but thinking about it, part of the “wink wink” might have been an angle to allow magazine advertising that didn’t outrage the subscribers and also kept it below the radar of law enforcement[1]).

    It’s interesting to speculate about how a woman back in the 50s or 60s might discover and come to acquire such a device: perhaps she’s out shopping with a couple of friends, the friends see it on a shelf at Gower’s Drugs and titter over it, she asks “what’s so funny?”, her friends show it to her and explain it and she blushes – she’d never heard of such a thing! But she can’t stop thinking about it, she hides a small box in her kitchen cabinet and when she finds herself with a bit of spare change, she discretely adds it to the box …

    I am seriously considering buying one of these things, if I can find one that works. I know, I know – a used vibrator!? Gross! Except that, for me, it’s not[2]. Maybe I’m hoping to bring back memories of my childhood. And I’m going to name it J. Alfred Prufrock.

    [1] about 8 years ago the local cops arrested a guy for selling a vibrator at a novelty store not far from where I live. I talked to the guy – who was just a counter clerk, not the owner of the store – and he was pretty seriously shaken up. Once the press got wind of it the charges were dropped, but there was never any explanation of why the police decided to single out this place / person. My point is: imagine it’s 1955 and you’re working at the corner pharmacy and you ring up a customer who is actually an undercover cop … *shudder*

    [2] also, I just remembered where I’m posting this. I’m reminded of Rachael’s story “Stroke Break” *grin*

  2. Oh – please pardon this 2nd response. I *did* find what was (I guess) a sex toy. But it was, like, can you imagine what a vibrator looked like in the 1940s? One of my earliest memories (I’m guessing I was 6yo) was finding this blue box at my grandparents’ house while we were visiting. The device inside claimed to be for “massaging sore back and shoulder muscles”: it was vaguely gun-shaped (it looked a lot like a soldering gun, if anyone knows what that is), dark grey with a red trigger, all made out of a hard plastic (Bakelite?). There was a metal ‘attachment point’ with screw threads, and like 5 attachments: a couple were hard plastic, the rest were some kind of pink rubber compound. The only one I remember well is the pink rubber one that was shaped like a suction cup. None of the attachments carried any sexual overtones – but still, it didn’t take long for me to experiment with “massaging” my 6yo penis. I don’t really have any detailed memories – I strongly suspect that the thing figuratively “blew my little 6yo mind”.

    Long story short: my grandparents passed on, and somehow my parents ended up with ‘massager’. I don’t remember the circumstances, but I was probably 12yo and got a glimpse of that distinctively-colored blue box in a cabinet in the kitchen. I have no clue why it was in the kitchen, but I recall it was like an instant connection to me: I knew exactly what it was, and the next time I was alone, I was going to snatch it and spend some quality time with it. It was great fun, and probably gave me my first (and 2nd and 3rd …) real orgasm(s).

    *Sigh* it distresses me that I have no memory of what became of the device. Now that I’m thinking about it: I really miss it.

    I think I need to surf eBay for awhile now …

  3. I’d be willing to bet that a relatively large number of nanny-cams are installed by people who are hoping to catch some hot teenaged babysitter masturbation action on video. Doesn’t really work for me, personally.

    The talk of snooping brings back many memories! I never found any actual sex toys, but I found a small stack of Playboys along with some ‘dirty’ paperback books in my father’s closet. It was a huge pain to get to them, though, and I had more than one close call where I had to rush to put everything back when my parents arrived home more quickly than expected.

    None of it was “high quality” – but this was 40 years ago. The magazines were vanilla Playboy fare. But there were three paperbacks, one was The Sensuous Man (which I read cover to cover, in hopes that it might someday come in handy) and the other two were truly nasty works of smut: tattered paperbacks that used to be sold at smut-shops for like 25cents. I remember the one was called Two-Way Twins … I forget the title of the other one, but it had the tag-line “She fucked her brothers!” Years later it occurred to me: my father had 5 brothers and one sister (who went on to become a nun). And I have this mental block that prevents me from thinking about it any further.

  4. Reading your real life tales and memories are always so much more erotic and exciting to me than your very well-written fiction… I just love hearing your sexy details from past events.

    Hope all is well wherever you are.

  5. I did a little snooping here and there. Found a vibrator in my Mom’s bathroom. I wrote about finding pictures of my older sister before. I don’t want to use the exact URL cause I’m afraid it’ll get hit for spam and don’t want to give Rachel any work with her time constraints. Essentially, if you want to read the whole thing, I use the same blogging service at Rachel with my name instead of dirtymind and this that follows – “/2017/06/28/update-and-a-story/” – Short story, while babysitting my young nieces one night for my sister and husband to go out on a date, I found some Polaroids of my sister and her husband in an unlocked gun cabinet. I had never seen my sister like that. She was in her early 20′s and I was about nine years younger. I never can forget it, though.

    More recently, though not involving a family member, I came across a phone that was in a bathroom. It was unlocked and I spent a few minutes searching through the phone – finding some nude pics girls had sent the phone. It’s a sick thrill. I don’t want to take advantage of someone, but I certainly love to have knowledge I’m not supposed to have. Certainly was never supposed to find those pictures of my sister after all.

  6. Yes…I can totally relate! I must confess there was one neighbor that I babysat for, I loved jerking off in an old padded bra I found in her drawer. Crazy times….

  7. Wow. I keep coming back checking for new updates to the open door policy story, but your blogs are also amazing. P.S. if you were my sister, you would have definitely caught me snooping at one point or another.

  8. So arousing to know you snooped in your parent’s bedroom like I did. My mother’s bra and panties were very typical yet magical. I routinely saw her in them but to rub them all over my body was special. Part of the motivation to start teasing her.

  9. So the “Open House ” picture you posted the other day might be kind of autobiographical?

  10. I’m loving these updates, Rachel! Thanks for sharing your stories; you definitely got me hard. I love reading about you snooping around your parents’ bedroom.

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