Double Trouble

My Christmas present to myself this year was a double-ended dildo. If I wasn’t on Santa’s naughty list before, I definitely am now!

Things were a bit too crazy during the holidays, so I waited until after New Year’s to try it out so that I’d be able to relax, take my time, and concentrate on exploring the new possibilities that this toy had to offer. Not surprisingly, it turns out that I love it!

My main motivation for adding this style of rubber dick to my little collection was not exactly what the main purpose of this toy normally is. What I wanted to do was simulate what it would be like to have a cock before I went so far as to invest in a strap-on (or maybe a strapless). My idea was to insert one end into my pussy, then jerk off the other end and see if I could get off just by stroking “my cock.” It took some trial and error, but I’m happy to report that I was very able to beat off and bring myself to orgasm!

I’ve always been envious of you guys and the way you masturbate. For us women, it’s a very limited action. We mostly diddle our clits or finger ourselves, which generally involves small actions. Worse is using a vibrator. It feels great, but there’s almost no action as we hold a buzzing object against our lady parts and wait for the feelings to come to us. One of the reasons I love watching men jerk off is that they have that big, fat cock to really grip onto and stroke. Sure, your fist is only moving a few inches up and down, but you can really get your whole arm and shoulder into the action. You can take it slow and easy, but you’re also able to get much more aggressive with your cock than I can with my pussy (unless I want to become an S&M devotee and cruelly abuse my sweet little kitty).

So, there I was in the middle of the day – hubby at work, kids at school – and I unwrapped my new toy. Naked on my bed, I lubed it up, slipped one end into my already wet hole and grabbed a hold of the half that was projecting from my pussy. It’s flexible enough that I can easily bend it up and around to an angle that closely mimics what it would look like if I had a cock. Just seeing myself like that was almost enough to get me off. I began stroking slowly and was instantly in heaven.

I quickly learned that it was going to be difficult to keep it inside me, so I had to use my free hand to press against where the dildo bent to keep it from popping out of my pussy after half a dozen strokes. I tried clamping down with my cunt muscles, but that only made it slip out sooner. I was a little bummed that I wasn’t able to use that free hand to play with my tits while I jerked off, but I soon discovered that I could reach my clit with the thumb of that hand, which was a fair trade off for the moment.

Once I got all the logistics worked out, I started to truly beat off for the first time. It was amazing! As I jacked my cock, the other end moved inside me. I tried a few different angles until I found the one that hit all the right spots. As I cranked my shaft, I naturally shifted and wiggled, which repeatedly caused me to lose that perfect alignment. This was annoying at first, but then I discovered that readjusting to find that spot again was only adding to the excitement. With some practice, I got into a steady rhythm and wanked my prick for a good ten minutes until I managed to make myself cum. It felt soooo fucking good!

There were two things that make this type of orgasm unique for me. First is the visual of watching my hand rapidly sliding up and down my very own cock. It’s hard to express just what a thrill that is. The other is the full on arm action I talked about. It feel so much more physical and visceral than just strumming my fingertips across my clit. Now that I’ve had a small glimpse into what the male masturbation experience is like, I’m even more envious than ever!

I’ve had several sessions over the past couple weeks with my bendy new friend. Twice now I’ve done it in front of a mirror so I could watch myself jerk off. Totally awesome. And this week I figured out that if I straddle the arm of our sofa, I can hold the inserted end of the dildo in my pussy by pressing down while I whack off. This allows me to go to town on my tits and nipples with my free hand! I guess that’s why they say necessity is the motherfucker of invention.

I haven’t told hubby about this gift to myself yet. I’m going to be selfish a little longer, but I will eventually share it with him – maybe it can be my Valentine’s surprise for him this year. I’m not sure if he’ll be into watching me jerk off, but I’m sure he’ll like if I bend it around the other way and DP myself with it (something I have tried once so far and will certainly be doing again). I’d love for him to give me a “blowjob,” but I don’t know how comfortable he’d be with that. I also have fantasies about him taking one end in his butt while I have the other in my asshole and we masturbate like that. Again, not sure if he’d be crazy about that idea. I’ll have to move slowly and do my best to get him liquored up before I attempt to seduce my man into doing any of the “gay” stuff.

If I do manage to lead him down that path, my next purchase may very well be that strap-on I’ve been eyeing…

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Hard Lessons

For prpldrgn, winner of the final caption contest.

I made it very clear to my daughter from the time she was a little girl that she wasn’t allowed in that room. I run a very strict household, as her mother will attest, and so when I caught Sophie snooping around in my private room, taking in my collecting of riding crops, inspecting the various sets of manacles I’d collected over the years, and handling a few of the dozens of varied dildos on display I knew I had to teach her a lesson. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but in this case it punished the pussy. Sophie wept when she realized she’d been caught, but I intended to give her good reason to cry. She resisted at first, but soon her pants were down around her ankles and she was across my lap. I let her have the first few spanks with her thin little pink panties on, then I pulled those down, too. I used my hand judiciously to bring her pink bottom to a bright red, delivering a few sharp smacks to her exposed vulva to drive the message home that she was not to be in my special room.

It was only three days later that her mother reported that she’d found our daughter in my room astride my low buck humping herself wantonly against the hard leather surface. Apparently the lesson hadn’t been learned after all. This time I took a different approach. I stripped her mother down to nothing and bound her wrists and ankles to my St. Andrews cross, then called Sophie into the room. She was shocked to see her mom naked and spread-eagle upon my most prized apparatus. I explained that for her self-indulgent transgression that I wasn’t going to take it out on her this time, but that her mother would receive the punishment for her daughter’s disobedience. Sophie watched in anguish as I mercilessly paddled her mother’s bare ass, then cruelly striped her back with a series of different whips. When my daughter tearfully asked me to stop torturing her mother, I instead made the insubordinate child watch while I strangled my wife’s large breasts with tight ropes and dripped hot wax on them. Her mother’s screams brought the poor girl to her knees as she promised through mournful sobs never to violate the sanctity of my private room again.

The message seemed to have gotten through, and Sophie respected my rules for the next couple months. Then, late one evening, I had my wife dangling in the air face down in the sling while I fucked her from behind, and I looked up to see my daughter at the doorway peeking in at us. She quickly took her hand from between her legs when she saw me looking, but I knew what she was up to. I put aside the pinwheel I’d been casually running over my wife’s reddened ass cheeks, pulled my hard cock from her mom’s wet cunt, and signaled for Sophie to come into the room. She was scared, but also eager. It was obvious to me that a simple punishment wasn’t the solution. This problem was going to take a whole new way of thinking to resolve.

I had my daughter strip naked. I inspected her body and liked what I saw. Her eyes couldn’t stay away from my erection whenever it was in view. I was well aware of the proscription against sex with one’s offspring, but she was my daughter, which meant I owned her. She was mine to do with as I pleased. I ordered Sophie to go to her mother’s closet and find the sluttiest pair of shoes she could, put them on, and return to my private chamber. While she was gone I went to where my wife was hanging and slid my cock into her whimpering mouth and told her what I proposed to do. She nodded her assent as I pushed deeper into her throat.

This is how my daughter found us when she returned atop a pair of sleek back heels. She watched with fascination as I gagged her mother with my cock before withdrawing and letting her breathe. I selected a leather collar from a drawer and affixed it around Sophie’s neck. “If you can’t behave like a respectful daughter, then we will have to treat you like a disobedient pet.” I clipped a chain leash to the collar and commanded my girl down onto all fours. Her whole body was shaking – with excitement or fear, I could not tell. I tugged on the leash and walked her around the room. “While in this house,” I explained to her, “you are no longer a girl, you are an animal. When you come home, you will immediately take off all your clothes and put on your collar. Once the collar is on, you are no longer permitted to walk, but instead must move about on all fours like the filthy beast that you are.” I surveyed the rack of equipment and selected a set of cuffs and chains. “You will then find me or your mother so that we may decide what accessories you deserve for the remainder of the day.” I attached the cuffs to ankles and wrists, limiting her movements and paraded her around in front of her mother for her opinion. My wife’s gaze took in our daughter in all her naked glory for the first time, a lacivious smile playing across her lips. I expected her to balk at using our girl in this manner, but my games over the years have apparently rendered my former beauty queen as depraved as I. My wife’s eyes went to the walnut cabinet in the corner. “Yes,” I agreed in response to her silent suggestion. “Quite right, my dear.”

I led Sophie to the cabinet. “As our pet, you will do anything you are told. If you don’t obey, you will be punished.” A demonstration was in order. “Now, sit up!” She dropped back onto her haunches and held her “paws” up before her. Quick learner. I stepped close, placing my erect cock only inches from her face. “Lick,” I commanded. She hesitated, looking up at me with uncertainty. I gave her left titty a hard slap. She yelped when she felt the sting on her puffy nipple, and quickly began licking the head and shaft of my cock. “Good, now Daddy’s balls.” My daughter ducked her head lower and complied with my demand, tonguing my clean-shaven scrotum front, sides, and bottom. She was beginning to understand the scope of what I had in mind for her from now on.

I plucked the item I was after from the cabinet and walked my pet back to where her mother was suspended. I helped my wife from the sling and gave her a moment to restore circulation to all her limbs. After a whispered exchange, I moved back in front of my new pet with my wife at my side. “Sit up. Good, girl.” Her mother began stroking my cock in front of our pet’s face. When I was close to reaching climax, I ordered, “Open your mouth.” Once again there was a look of reservation on her face, and once again she received a sharp tit slap to prompt her compliance. Sophie opened her mouth wide. “Don’t swallow,” I warned her moments before her mom pumped my load of semen onto her tongue.

Once I was spent, my wife held her hand out and our pet spit my cum into her palm. The two of us then went around behind. “On all fours,” her mother directed. It gave me a pleasant thrill to hear that. I’d only ever seen my wife as my submissive. I’d never seen her take a dominant role, as she was with our new pet. Sophie’s mother began smearing my cum over her daughter’s asshole. “What are–” Her mom’s resounding bare-handed smack on her little rump quickly shut her up. Once her asshole was well lubricated with my semen, I carefully inserted the item I’d taken from the cabinet. Our little daughter-pet wailed in pain throughout the insertion. In time she would learn to relax and accept whatever we put into any of her holes.

I stood back and admired my creation. My wife was right, the addition of the anal plug with the long tail completed the effect to perfection. I took her for another stroll around the room – the room that was no longer off limits to my little pet.

The perverse glimmer in my wife’s eye didn’t escape me as we returned to her. I handed the least over. “You look as though you’d like a turn with our new toy.” She walked Sophie across the room and back, then ordered her to sit up, as I had earlier. My wife then turned around, backed up to our daughter-pet’s face, spread her own ass cheeks, and spoke the command, “Lick.” Sophie pulled back. “Bad girl,” her mother barked and yanked on the leash, pulling the girl’s head forward. The dreamy smile on my wife’s face indicated our pet was doing as told. I stepped up and began sucking on her fat nipples and fingering her bald pussy. It didn’t take long before my wife was cumming with her daughter’s tongue up her asshole. I wondered if Sophie was regretting her intrusion into my private sanctum yet. If she was, that regret would only become more intense because this was just the beginning. If she was getting what she wanted, then things were only going to get more interesting as time went on.

The next day when Sophie arrived home from school she did just as she was supposed to. She stripped naked in the foyer and donned the collar that was waiting there for her. She then sought me out. I took her to the room and outfitted her with the black heels, a set of nipple clamps, and (of course) her tail. My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the new arrangement. Life was much more fun with a pet than with a daughter. A few times a week, I’d arrive home to find our toy lapping at my wife’s cunt. As often as not I’d join them, sliding my cock into my pet’s wet pussy. My dear wife had absolutely no qualms about me fucking our daughter-pet and frequently requested that I do so while she watched and pleasured herself with one of her many large toys. Sophie clearly enjoyed being our sex pet, and often misbehaved on purpose so that she could discover what new forms of punishment her owners would devise for her.

If fact, this is exactly what her mother and I are trying to determine at this very moment. Earlier this evening my wife put Sophie’s dinner bowl down on the kitchen floor. Instead of eating, our pet defiantly lifted her leg and piddled all over the floor. We rubbed her nose in the puddle and spanked her with a rolled up newspaper, but that wasn’t enough. Our naughty little pet clearly wanted to be taught a lesson she wouldn’t forget.

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This ‘n’ That

I have a couple bits of un-fun bizniss to get out of the way, and then a quick insight into my dirty mind.

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I love when you leave comments and I can’t get enough of them! I’ve complained about how clunky and basic the commenting system is on this blogging platform plenty of times, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon. One of the quirks of the system is that if anything is entered in the “website” field when you’re making a comment, then your message gets thrown into the spam bucket (it doesn’t even have to be a web address). I have no idea why, but it means that your comment won’t appear until I comb through the 30 to 50 items that show up in my spam bucket each day in order to rescue the occasional legitimate comment. If you want to your message to appear right away and not risk having it accidentally flushed with the real spam, always leave the “website” field blank!

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There has been a spike in requests for pictures of me. I want to once again make it clear that I don’t share pictures. If this is seems too vague, let me try to be more specific. I won’t share nude photos of myself. I won’t share clothed pics. I won’t share naked images with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share clothed pictures of me with my face blurred or cut off. I won’t share photos of just my boobs, just my pussy, just my feet, or just any part of my body. I won’t send you pics of my sex toys, my dirty panties, or my used tampons. I won’t share pictures of my daughters, brother, or any family member. I guess what I’m trying to say (without sounding like too big of a bitch), is that I will not share pictures having anything to do with my private life. I totally understand why guys want/need my picture, but it’s just not going to happen. I’m honestly nothing all that special bodywise, and there are millions of willing naked women on the web with much more to offer than me. Part of my problem with the repeated requests is that I’m generally a people pleaser and I hate saying no. It’s uncomfortable for me to have to constantly say no even after I’ve addressed the sharing of pictures in other posts and in my FAQ. I feel like I freely share enough of my self through my stories and posts and don’t deserve the pressure to give more than I already do. Sorry for being such a downer on this topic, but if you want more details about why I’m so protective about sharing pictures, you can take a look at this post from waaaay back in 2014: Photophobia.

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In a recent email, a horny reader commented that he would like to be a fly on the wall when me and my friends get together with some wine. Well, I had to tell him that he would be one bored fly. My “mommy friends” are all very conservative and uptight (at least they are when we get together). It’s all about kids, TV shows, kids, clothes, kids, stupid husbands, and more kid stuff. To be honest, after about twenty minutes I’m ready to blow my brains out. But then my dirty mind takes over. As one of my friend chatters on, I wonder what she looks like naked. Big nipples or tiny points? Are they still firm or saggy fun bags? Hairy or shaved? Gnarly lips of delicate petals? Gaping fuck hole or modest love tunnel? I often wonder about what they look like when they masturbate. What technique do they use? Is she a furniture humper like me? Does she ram herself raw with a big dong while her legs are in the air? Does she quietly vibe herself under the blanket in the dark? Does she squat on a big black dildo in the middle of her living room and fuck it like there’s no tomorrow? After this, I start to bring husbands into the picture. Does she like to take it from behind or ride him reverse cowgirl style? Does she let him cum on her face? Do they tongue each other’s asshole like me and my husband? What would she do if I was sucking her husband’s cock right in front of her? Would she finger fuck herself and watch while I swallowed her man’s load? What if I took on all of their husbands at once? Three at a time filling each of my holes and covering me in hot jizz while those waiting their turn jerked their hard cocks in anticipation. Would my prudish friends gather around to lick my spunk-covered body clean after the men were done with me? Whew, yeah! So, while our get-togethers are extremely dull, I usually end up masturbating like a mad woman as soon as the tea party ends!

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A New Beginning

Hello, 2017! I can’t wait to see what kind of filthy fun we have together this year!

Over the weekend I was doing a little behind-the-scenes maintenance on the blog. This required that I go back and make some adjustments to my very first blog posts. I was immediately struck by the contrast between then and now. The pictures were itty-bitty, and many of my posts weren’t much more than a single paragraph. I’ve come a long way, baby.

I admit that when it comes to writing I have a problem with brevity. But back then it seemed all I wanted to do was say something naughty, then run away and hide as fast as I could. The size of the pics shows how shy I was about posting dirty pictures of woo-woos and pee-pees. I was tempted to just delete most of those old posts out of embarrassment, but decided that they represent a meaningful part of my journey. Without those first faltering steps I wouldn’t be able to dance in the depravity I’m happily wallowing in now with all of you.

I don’t know where this porn writing fetish will take me next, but I look forward to whatever may cum. And in honor of those self-conscious early posts, I’ll leave it at that.

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New Year’s Dissolution

First of all, instead of a stodgy ol’ kiss at the stroke of midnight, I propose that the new tradition should look something like this photo! No one would ever want to stay in on New Year’s Eve again.

Secondly, I want to start a new tradition – the New Year’s Dissolution! Instead of a silly resolution aimed at making us better people, I propose we do the opposite. A Dissolution should be a promise to yourself that you’re going to do something bad this year that you’ve never done before.

Ideally, this Dissolution will be something sexual, like suck my first cock, get up the courage to ask my wife to piss on me, or tell my mom that I had sexual fantasies about her when I was a teen. You can also make a pledge to do something non-sexual as long as it’s bad. It could be to give L.S.D. a try, to finally tell that “friend” of yours that you can’t stand them, or to take a big, steamy dump on your boss’s desk. Sometimes you’ve got to be bad to feel good!

Whatever your Dissolution is, it’s bound to be easier to keep than those guilt-ridden resolutions we always make and break. Not only that, but as scary as they may be, there’s a good chance we’ll benefit much more from fulfilling our fun Dissolutions than our lame resolutions.

My New Year’s Dissolution for 2017 is to flash my boobs to a stranger. Both tits, nipples and all. I don’t know how, when, or where yet, but I’m determined to do it. I feel a bit panicky inside just sitting here making this commitment, but I think I’ll be a happier person in the long run if I can get over my fear and do something I’ve been curious about for years.

So…what’s your New Year’s Dissolution?

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