Sex Snoop

I often snooped through my parents’ bedroom when I was in my mid-teens. I was on the hunt for anything to do with sex, and had no qualms about invading their privacy (as long as I didn’t get caught). I wanted to unravel the mysteries of this adult world of penises and pussies and discover what the grown-ups were hiding from us kids. My holy grail would have been a sex tape, but I would have gladly settled for a hidden stack of Polaroids.

Sex toys weren’t even on my radar back then. My mom had a clunky back massager, which I’d seen her using for that purpose, but only looking back did I realize it most likely doubled as a vibrator. The closest I ever got was a sheer, lacy negligee that my mom had tucked away in the back of her closet.

I tried it on one time, but it didn’t fit me anywhere and looked beyond silly. Still, it turned me on to imagine my mom wearing it and getting my dad all horny for her. There were holes in the large bra section for her nipples to poke through, and they came with a flimsy pair of crotchless panties. This was the pinnacle of kink for me back then. To this day I still get a big thrill out of peek-a-boo bras and crotchless panties. There was also an item of my dad’s that intrigued me, but not in quite the same way.

It must have been some kind of gag gift because I can’t imagine either of my parents actually buying this item. It was a kind of thong thingie, sized for a man. It was pink, and the front of it had two big, floppy elephant ears, googly eyes, and an elephant truck that was designed for a cock to be slipped into it. It was totally silly, but that didn’t stop me from wondering if my dad ever put it on for fun and made the elephant’s trunk stand straight up. It may have been ridiculous, but that didn’t stop me from getting wet thinking about my parents joking around with their genitals behind closed doors.

Ironically, my biggest find wasn’t in my parents’ bedroom, but (as I’ve talked about before) in my father’s workshop. Finding Dad’s small hidden stash of porn magazines and books was a major discovery, and one I often took advantage of (leading to dozens and dozens of furtive masturbation sessions crouched in the dimly lit garage breathing in the heavy odors of motor oil and gasoline as I frantically worked my little pussy in an effort to get off before anyone found me. As wonderful as that cache of goodies was, it wasn’t quite the kind of incriminating personal evidence I was seeking.

I had one other porn find that I sometimes wonder if it was my imagination. When I was somewhere around 17 (yes, I was still snooping at that age (after I’d lost my innocence), always hoping something new might appear), I found a Playgirl magazine under my mom’s side of the mattress. I had heard it mentioned, but never really believed before then that there was such a thing as porn for women. I went through the magazine one page at a time, hardly able to breathe. Almost NO naked women at all! Mostly nude, hairy men in unnatural poses. They were attempting to be manly, but they all somehow seemed kind of effeminate. The funny thing was that I wasn’t overly impressed with the cocks I saw. I mean, they were okay, but what got me excited was the idea that my mom was looking at this stuff. I picked out the guys I thought she might like the most and masturbated to them while wondering if my mom had done the same thing. The magazine was gone the next time I looked.

Strangely, I never really snooped in my brother’s room – at least not for sex stuff. I guess, in my head, he was a kid like me, so what could there be to find? I’m sure if I looked I would have probably found some contraband porn mags, or even a forbidden VHS tape the boys were passing around. What I did do, when I had the house all to myself, was lie on his bed naked and masturbate like a fiend. I can vividly remember planting my feet and raising my hips high up, humping the air as I fingered myself and yelled out dirty stuff I would never dare say aloud to anyone. I would often start these solo sessions by fantasizing that my brother had walked in and caught me. I’d say out loud, “Look at my pussy! You like that? Yeah, watch me play with my pussy! You wanna see me cum, don’t you?” Wow, nothing turned me on back then like being able to just let loose and say whatever obscene thing came into my head while going wild on my cunt in a place I wasn’t supposed to be. “You want to fuck me, don’t you? You want to fuck your little sister’s hot pussy! Go ahead – give me your cock! Put your cock in me!” Oh, shit, so fucking good – even to this day!

I was often too scared to snoop at the houses where I babysat, but when I did I usually came up empty. I guess I grew up in a very sexually repressed area. I found a three-pack of Trojan condoms once, which didn’t do much for me. One lady had a string of balls in her panty drawer that I would only later realize were probably anal beads, but at the time I had no clue what they were for so I didn’t really get to enjoy the discovery in the moment. Maybe I should take up babysitting again – I bet I’d be a lot better at snooping, and I’d probably find a lot more “incriminating evidence”! (Although the advent of the nanny cam might put a crimp in things…)

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Teen Saw Mom Having Sex with Two Classmates

Other news sources can’t tell you everything. The details must be sanitized and veiled in vague euphemisms in order to protect readers from the truth. Here at My Dirty Little News headquarters we don’t hide anything. Our intrepid reporters look beyond the headlines and deliver the Hole Story!

Here’s the “real” story.

And now, the Hole Story:

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A mom is behind bars after her teenage daughter told cops she caught her having a threesome with her classmates.

Jessica Anders, 41, offered a group of underage students booze after arriving home and finding that her daughter was throwing an unauthorized bash.

Police Detective O’Halloran says: “Upon discovering the teen party, Ms. Anders proceeded to socialize and drink with the minors, eventually telling a boy that she needed a shower and suggesting that he come help her.”

The blonde then led him by the hand to a bedroom, removed all of her clothes, stripped him, and performed oral sex on him. “It was like a fantasy come true,” the boy claimed. He went on to explain, “None of the girls at school would ever do anything with me, but Sherry’s mom got naked like it was nothing and went straight for my boner. I don’t care how many times I get my dick sucked after that, it’ll never be as good as getting blown by Ms. Anders.”

Another boy told investigators that he also joined in for “group sexual activity.” In his statement to police, Brian says, “I was wondering what was taking Mike so long and went to find him. I opened the bedroom door and Sherry’s mom had his cock all the way down her throat. I was about to close the door and get out of there, but Ms. Anders motioned for me to come in. I wasn’t sure what to do, but then she spread her butt cheeks and I could see everything – meaning her entire asshole and pussy. They both looked really good to me. Even from the doorway I could totally see how wet she was. Mike just smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I never had sex before, much less a threesome, but my dick was so hard I couldn’t say no. I got naked and, like, three seconds later I was pounding my first cunt ever. It was fuckin’ awesome.”

Anders’ daughter said she walked in and saw her mother taking part in sex acts with the 16- and 17-year-olds. “I almost screamed when I saw my mom doing it with two of my friends. And one of them was a guy I liked and was hoping would ask me out. I was so mad, but when I saw Brian’s big dick going in and out of my mom’s pussy, I couldn’t look away. The longer I watched, the more turned on I got. They all saw me standing there staring, but they didn’t stop having sex. The way my mom was smiling I think she was getting off on me seeing her fucking and sucking my friends.”

Though deeply embarrassed by her reactions, Anders’ daughter admitted that she became so engrossed in watching her mother having illicit sex with the two boys that she pulled her pants and underwear down and masturbated to the indecent scene playing out in front of her. “It was so intense,” Sherry confessed, “that when I noticed some of my other friends at the party could see me in the hallway fingering myself I didn’t even care. It was almost like I wanted them to see me being a horny slut. I guess maybe that’s how my mom must have been feeling also.” Sherry, red-faced and nervous went on to say “And the weird thing is that it wasn’t just the boys’ cocks that made me excited, but for some reason I wanted to touch my mom’s boobs, and even had a strong feeling of wanting to lick her pussy and see what it would taste like even though I never had any kind of lesbian urges before seeing Mom getting double-teamed like a dirty whore.”

Detectives launched a probe on Thursday after a tip that word was spreading at a school about Anders’ alleged booze and sex antics at the party.

The unnamed school was alerted and the nine teens at the party were questioned individually.

Each account was consistent with the timeline and carnal nature of reported events, said a sheriff’s deputy. The two boys who engaged in sexual intercourse with Ms. Anders had no complaints about the abuse they’d suffered, both doing their best to defend the older woman and asking for leniency on her behalf. The other students confirmed seeing Sherry openly pleasuring herself as she watched her mother engaged in multiple sex acts with the boys. One of the male witnesses stated, “I been jerking off every night thinking about what I saw Sherry doing with her pussy at that party. She must’ve cum like five or six times. After this all settles down, I’m going to ask her out and see if she’s down to fuck. The way she was acting seemed like she really needs to get fucked hard by a stiff dick.”

Anders was “very intoxicated” when officers went to her home to arrest her in the middle of Friday afternoon said court papers. When officers knocked, Ms. Anders opened the front door naked and offered them sex in exchange for not taking her into custody. Rookie officer Melissa Gandin reports that she was sorely tempted, but her partner refused the sexual bribe before she could do anything, “But I know he wanted to say yes as much as I did from the hard-on he had in his pants the whole ride back to the station.”

Ms. Anders is being held at Macatee County Jail while awaiting trial. Her “victims” have started a ComeFundMe account to help pay for her legal expenses.

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Feeling Things Out…

I think my new longitude is giving me weird dreams! Two nights ago I dreamed that a strange pygmy goat kept trying to head butt me. And this morning I had a dream that I was in a sorority with Amy Schumer and for some reason she was referring to her vagina as her “chimney.” The good news is that this dream gave me an idea for a porn story when I woke up. How does this sound…?

“House Boy” – a sorority secures the services of a good-looking, well-hung, experienced stud as a live-in ‘handy man.’ Ostensibly he’s there to take care of the maintenance on the sorority house, but his real purpose is to take care of the sorority sisters. The leaders of the sorority rationalize this with the theory that the girls spend so much time and energy chasing relationships that they would be able to concentrate more on their school work if there was a desirable communal ‘boyfriend’ available to take care of their various physical needs with no strings attached. Of course, in a house full of horny co-eds, this is bound to create more drama than it avoids – but how much fun would it be navigating those stormy waters!? Just a thought…

I haven’t risked doing anything too dirty on my ‘home’ (i.e. company) internet connection yet, but I have found a few nearby coffee shops with free wifi that I can at least use for dirty minded e-mails when I get a chance. I made this update using the TOR browser – which I think should encrypt things enough that it shouldn’t set off any alarms (I hope). I figure if I don’t post too often, and use a different coffee shop each time I do, that I can stay a step or two ahead of the porn police (assuming they’re real, or even care about a low-level offender like me).

Everything here is new and confusing – but I love it so far. The girls are out of their minds…in a good way. It will be challenging, but I’m feeling a lot more confident about this move and excited to find out what adventures each new day might bring!

And, sorry, I didn’t manage to join the mile-high club on the journey here, but I was able to ‘sweep my chimney’ under the blanket during the flight while all the lights were low – it took a long time for me to ‘get there,’ but it was such a nasty thrill!

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