Thoughts and Players

So, a reader sent me a bunch of sexy solo gifs (thanks, Jim!), and I thought it might be fun to share my thoughts on these naughty images with everyone…here goes:

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Whenever I had the house to myself, I would usually masturbate somewhere other than my bedroom. Doing it in the living room, family room, or on the floor in the front hallway always intensified my orgasms. I also loved the feeling of being naked in my parents’ or brother’s bed. I would always get scared as soon as I came and run to my room feeling guilty for being such a pervert, and I would scold myself for being so stupid and risking getting caught. I’d promise myself I wouldn’t do that any more (jilling off in my own room felt good enough that I didn’t need to take a chance and do it anywhere else), but the next time I was alone in the house I was running wild all over the place!

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To this day I sometimes rub myself off over my PJs or panties. It’s also something I frequently do while driving. There’s something so good about the feeling it gives my pussy while at the same time I’m dying to feel my fingers on (and in) my wet flesh (not to mention the excitement of touching myself in semi-public).

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Yeah, this is how I masturbate most of the time these days – in front of a screen looking at various forms of hardcore porn. All I had when I was younger was the occasional soft-core movie on cable (we had a family computer in our dining room that didn’t allow for any privacy, and was closely monitored by our parents – probably more because of my brother than me). I explored online porn here and there in college, but back then I was convinced that I was being tracked and that somehow it could become public that I was looking at cocks on the internet. Paranoid, I know, but one summer I worked at a video store (remember those!?) and there was a local politician who came in and rented porno all the time. I often thought about how easy it would be for someone to leak his list of rentals (or anyone’s) and so I was always worried about my own shameful porn habits getting out and ruining my life. And, now that I think about it, I still am!

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My first foray into actual sex toys was centered around vibrator type things that I’d buzz my clit with. I was a little weirded out by the idea of fucking a non-living thing (penises or my fingers felt natural, but doing it with an inanimate object…?). I eventually got over this (obviously) and now enjoy pumping myself like a sex-starved nympho several times a week using a nice thick dildo (or my trusty double-headed dong).

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Yeah…still nothing like fingers to really get in there and get the job done. You get the joyful sensation through your fingers as they slide around the soft folds of your cunt, along with the great feeling of your horny cunt getting fingered in just the right way.

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Oh yeah, ya gotta love pale titties on a tanned hottie! I think I picked up this turn-on from my dad’s old porn mags. The girls with white boobs stood out more than those with full-body tans to me. I guess it highlighted that I was seeing something that I wasn’t supposed to see – I was seeing stuff that had to be covered up in public! That made it so much dirtier for me.

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Such beautiful wetness! It always bothers me when I see porn pics of dry pussies. Yes, there is a certain artistic appeal, but then I just can’t imagine them in an overtly sexual way. I looove seeing everything nice and juicy – whether it’s oil, sweat, or cunt slime – a glistening pussy is a happy pussy! And when it’s bald and smooth, like this girl’s, I just want to dive in there and rub my face in it!

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Nice! More humping. I think it’s super sexy to see a woman moving her body like a guy does when he’s fucking someone (or something). I like pegging or strap-on vids where the girl really gets her hips into it the way a man would. Not sure why that gets me going as much as it does, maybe for the same reason I get revved up seeing very feminine-looking shemales jacking off fast and hard! (Yeah…the internet has really opened up new worlds of perversion that I never would have known otherwise…)

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I like to think that if I had a sister we would have done this together (a lot). I also wonder, if I hadn’t been such a chicken about it, if any of my friends from high school would have been willing to be my jilling buddy. Again, if I was cooler in college, I’m sure I could have found someone willing to “experiment” with me. Arg – how long is it going to take for some nerd to invent time travel that lets you go back to when you were younger!!??

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Nice! Again, the pose I’m in half the time when I masturbate! I sometimes wonder how I’d survive these days without the internet. I got along fine for years and years with just my own fantasies, but I’ve become so spoiled by online porn it would seem like a big loss if I had to rely solely on my own dirty thoughts. Well, I guess I’d survive somehow…

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There we go! If I’m not using a toy (and sometimes even when I am), I tend to be a two-hander when I’m molesting myself. Fucking myself and diddling my clit is probably my most common go-to move. Either that, or my “spare” hand is roughly groping a tit, or lightly torturing a nipple. I love pulling and twisting my nips as I get close to cumming. I also go through phases where I get super charged up by grabbing and pulling at my belly or inner thigh. Weird. Anyway, one hand good, two hands awesome!

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Beautiful! This reflects another frequent fantasy of mine – a friendly neighbor who likes to stop by from time to time during the day so we can watch each other masturbate. I love the voyeur/exhibitionist aspect of this fantasy, as well as the casual idea of being a able to get off with another woman without it being a full-on lesbian thing. This is part of where my first story (Secrets Between Sisters) came from.

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The girlfriend of a guy I knew in college once told me that she used a tub faucet to masturbate. I really didn’t know her all that well. For some reason the two of us were walking at night, and I don’t know how it came up, but I just remember that she told me that she was walking in the city once and looked into a window as she passed and saw two gay guys having sex. I don’t know how this led to her sharing her favorite masturbation technique, but she did. I was too freaked out to open up about my own naughty habits, and I still regret it to this day. Why was I such a fucking pussy when I was younger!!!??? (And where the fuck is that time machine!?)

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Ever since me and hubby crossed the anal sex line, my butt has played a much bigger role in my masturbation routine. If I’m playing with myself after getting out of the shower, my finger always ends up deep in my asshole as I pleasure my pussy. If at any point I feel a trickle of pussy juice slide down across my anus, I HAVE to finger my butthole no matter what! I also enjoy getting off by moving into a doggystyle type position and spreading a butt cheek with one hand while I fuck myself using the other. Feeling the cool air on my asshole ramps things up for me, but I also usually add in a fantasy that I’m exposing my butthole to someone watching (I often imagine it’s my brother or father (or both), but I’ve also pretended it’s a man (known or unknown) that I’ve encountered that day). This also goes along with the two-handed thing I mentioned earlier…

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Okay, now this is just becoming torture. I really need to find a discreet diddle buddy!

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I don’t know about the dry entry here, but it looks like she’s enjoying it!

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Love that clitty action! I sometimes wish mine was bigger – big enough that I could actually jerk it off between my thumb and forefinger. But, maybe that would be too much for me. I’d probably end up walking around with lady-wood most of the time, in which case I would be too tempted to wear super-tight pants that would rub against my tiny girl-dick and make me orgasm throughout the day. Yeah, I’d be a total mess! Maybe I should go with a big clit for a day fantasy instead, just to be safe. (Which would go along nicely with my big tits for a day fantasy.)

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This last one looks like an inspirational image for a story I should write about three sisters who are fed up with dating jerks and turn to each other for emotional and sexual comfort. But what happens when Mom catches them being naughty? Does she kick them out of the house, or does she confess that their dad isn’t getting the job done in the bedroom and join them?

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Sex Snoop

I often snooped through my parents’ bedroom when I was in my mid-teens. I was on the hunt for anything to do with sex, and had no qualms about invading their privacy (as long as I didn’t get caught). I wanted to unravel the mysteries of this adult world of penises and pussies and discover what the grown-ups were hiding from us kids. My holy grail would have been a sex tape, but I would have gladly settled for a hidden stack of Polaroids.

Sex toys weren’t even on my radar back then. My mom had a clunky back massager, which I’d seen her using for that purpose, but only looking back did I realize it most likely doubled as a vibrator. The closest I ever got was a sheer, lacy negligee that my mom had tucked away in the back of her closet.

I tried it on one time, but it didn’t fit me anywhere and looked beyond silly. Still, it turned me on to imagine my mom wearing it and getting my dad all horny for her. There were holes in the large bra section for her nipples to poke through, and they came with a flimsy pair of crotchless panties. This was the pinnacle of kink for me back then. To this day I still get a big thrill out of peek-a-boo bras and crotchless panties. There was also an item of my dad’s that intrigued me, but not in quite the same way.

It must have been some kind of gag gift because I can’t imagine either of my parents actually buying this item. It was a kind of thong thingie, sized for a man. It was pink, and the front of it had two big, floppy elephant ears, googly eyes, and an elephant truck that was designed for a cock to be slipped into it. It was totally silly, but that didn’t stop me from wondering if my dad ever put it on for fun and made the elephant’s trunk stand straight up. It may have been ridiculous, but that didn’t stop me from getting wet thinking about my parents joking around with their genitals behind closed doors.

Ironically, my biggest find wasn’t in my parents’ bedroom, but (as I’ve talked about before) in my father’s workshop. Finding Dad’s small hidden stash of porn magazines and books was a major discovery, and one I often took advantage of (leading to dozens and dozens of furtive masturbation sessions crouched in the dimly lit garage breathing in the heavy odors of motor oil and gasoline as I frantically worked my little pussy in an effort to get off before anyone found me. As wonderful as that cache of goodies was, it wasn’t quite the kind of incriminating personal evidence I was seeking.

I had one other porn find that I sometimes wonder if it was my imagination. When I was somewhere around 17 (yes, I was still snooping at that age (after I’d lost my innocence), always hoping something new might appear), I found a Playgirl magazine under my mom’s side of the mattress. I had heard it mentioned, but never really believed before then that there was such a thing as porn for women. I went through the magazine one page at a time, hardly able to breathe. Almost NO naked women at all! Mostly nude, hairy men in unnatural poses. They were attempting to be manly, but they all somehow seemed kind of effeminate. The funny thing was that I wasn’t overly impressed with the cocks I saw. I mean, they were okay, but what got me excited was the idea that my mom was looking at this stuff. I picked out the guys I thought she might like the most and masturbated to them while wondering if my mom had done the same thing. The magazine was gone the next time I looked.

Strangely, I never really snooped in my brother’s room – at least not for sex stuff. I guess, in my head, he was a kid like me, so what could there be to find? I’m sure if I looked I would have probably found some contraband porn mags, or even a forbidden VHS tape the boys were passing around. What I did do, when I had the house all to myself, was lie on his bed naked and masturbate like a fiend. I can vividly remember planting my feet and raising my hips high up, humping the air as I fingered myself and yelled out dirty stuff I would never dare say aloud to anyone. I would often start these solo sessions by fantasizing that my brother had walked in and caught me. I’d say out loud, “Look at my pussy! You like that? Yeah, watch me play with my pussy! You wanna see me cum, don’t you?” Wow, nothing turned me on back then like being able to just let loose and say whatever obscene thing came into my head while going wild on my cunt in a place I wasn’t supposed to be. “You want to fuck me, don’t you? You want to fuck your little sister’s hot pussy! Go ahead – give me your cock! Put your cock in me!” Oh, shit, so fucking good – even to this day!

I was often too scared to snoop at the houses where I babysat, but when I did I usually came up empty. I guess I grew up in a very sexually repressed area. I found a three-pack of Trojan condoms once, which didn’t do much for me. One lady had a string of balls in her panty drawer that I would only later realize were probably anal beads, but at the time I had no clue what they were for so I didn’t really get to enjoy the discovery in the moment. Maybe I should take up babysitting again – I bet I’d be a lot better at snooping, and I’d probably find a lot more “incriminating evidence”! (Although the advent of the nanny cam might put a crimp in things…)

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Teen Saw Mom Having Sex with Two Classmates

Other news sources can’t tell you everything. The details must be sanitized and veiled in vague euphemisms in order to protect readers from the truth. Here at My Dirty Little News headquarters we don’t hide anything. Our intrepid reporters look beyond the headlines and deliver the Hole Story!

Here’s the “real” story.

And now, the Hole Story:

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A mom is behind bars after her teenage daughter told cops she caught her having a threesome with her classmates.

Jessica Anders, 41, offered a group of underage students booze after arriving home and finding that her daughter was throwing an unauthorized bash.

Police Detective O’Halloran says: “Upon discovering the teen party, Ms. Anders proceeded to socialize and drink with the minors, eventually telling a boy that she needed a shower and suggesting that he come help her.”

The blonde then led him by the hand to a bedroom, removed all of her clothes, stripped him, and performed oral sex on him. “It was like a fantasy come true,” the boy claimed. He went on to explain, “None of the girls at school would ever do anything with me, but Sherry’s mom got naked like it was nothing and went straight for my boner. I don’t care how many times I get my dick sucked after that, it’ll never be as good as getting blown by Ms. Anders.”

Another boy told investigators that he also joined in for “group sexual activity.” In his statement to police, Brian says, “I was wondering what was taking Mike so long and went to find him. I opened the bedroom door and Sherry’s mom had his cock all the way down her throat. I was about to close the door and get out of there, but Ms. Anders motioned for me to come in. I wasn’t sure what to do, but then she spread her butt cheeks and I could see everything – meaning her entire asshole and pussy. They both looked really good to me. Even from the doorway I could totally see how wet she was. Mike just smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I never had sex before, much less a threesome, but my dick was so hard I couldn’t say no. I got naked and, like, three seconds later I was pounding my first cunt ever. It was fuckin’ awesome.”

Anders’ daughter said she walked in and saw her mother taking part in sex acts with the 16- and 17-year-olds. “I almost screamed when I saw my mom doing it with two of my friends. And one of them was a guy I liked and was hoping would ask me out. I was so mad, but when I saw Brian’s big dick going in and out of my mom’s pussy, I couldn’t look away. The longer I watched, the more turned on I got. They all saw me standing there staring, but they didn’t stop having sex. The way my mom was smiling I think she was getting off on me seeing her fucking and sucking my friends.”

Though deeply embarrassed by her reactions, Anders’ daughter admitted that she became so engrossed in watching her mother having illicit sex with the two boys that she pulled her pants and underwear down and masturbated to the indecent scene playing out in front of her. “It was so intense,” Sherry confessed, “that when I noticed some of my other friends at the party could see me in the hallway fingering myself I didn’t even care. It was almost like I wanted them to see me being a horny slut. I guess maybe that’s how my mom must have been feeling also.” Sherry, red-faced and nervous went on to say “And the weird thing is that it wasn’t just the boys’ cocks that made me excited, but for some reason I wanted to touch my mom’s boobs, and even had a strong feeling of wanting to lick her pussy and see what it would taste like even though I never had any kind of lesbian urges before seeing Mom getting double-teamed like a dirty whore.”

Detectives launched a probe on Thursday after a tip that word was spreading at a school about Anders’ alleged booze and sex antics at the party.

The unnamed school was alerted and the nine teens at the party were questioned individually.

Each account was consistent with the timeline and carnal nature of reported events, said a sheriff’s deputy. The two boys who engaged in sexual intercourse with Ms. Anders had no complaints about the abuse they’d suffered, both doing their best to defend the older woman and asking for leniency on her behalf. The other students confirmed seeing Sherry openly pleasuring herself as she watched her mother engaged in multiple sex acts with the boys. One of the male witnesses stated, “I been jerking off every night thinking about what I saw Sherry doing with her pussy at that party. She must’ve cum like five or six times. After this all settles down, I’m going to ask her out and see if she’s down to fuck. The way she was acting seemed like she really needs to get fucked hard by a stiff dick.”

Anders was “very intoxicated” when officers went to her home to arrest her in the middle of Friday afternoon said court papers. When officers knocked, Ms. Anders opened the front door naked and offered them sex in exchange for not taking her into custody. Rookie officer Melissa Gandin reports that she was sorely tempted, but her partner refused the sexual bribe before she could do anything, “But I know he wanted to say yes as much as I did from the hard-on he had in his pants the whole ride back to the station.”

Ms. Anders is being held at Macatee County Jail while awaiting trial. Her “victims” have started a ComeFundMe account to help pay for her legal expenses.

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